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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 578204" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I had a son who disappeared for totally different reason (adopted older, he had issues). I wrote and wrote and wrote and I still haven't spoken to him in six years. He archived all of my letters into his computer (weird, I know) and saw them as negatives and presented them to his new wife as negatives. I'll likely never see him again. It was horrible right after it happened...I am used to it now. At sometime I thought, "I was a good mom to him. It's his loss."</p><p></p><p> Sometimes anything you commit to paper is passed around and everyone sees what they want to see in it. This doesn't mean it won't work. It may. It just means that it could go in either direction. She will probably show her mother. Do you want that? </p><p>I think you can send her a card that says much of what you want to say. On the bottom maybe you can sign "To t he daughter that nobody can ever replace." And for pity sakes if you spend more on this girlfriend of yours than your daughter, don't let her know! </p><p>When you first wrote, sounded like daughter did this impulsively for no reason, but it was a long time coming and she had a reason and she is both angry and hurt. Can you keep SO out of her life? If you go to dinner, you can go alone with her and leave SO at home. HER home. You will have to play a difficult balancing act, I'm afraid. You simply have to accept that you can't have it all and it isn't the way you thought it would be in your fantasies. Since you met girlfriend only eighteen months after you and your wife split up, that probably seems like right away to both of your daughters. You probably shouldn't have told your daughters about her until/unless you were close to engagement. You, more than us, know how sensitive your daughters are and you need to take their personalities into consideration. </p><p></p><p>Maybe there is a reason they don't like your SO. Does she hang all over you? Act like she owns you in front of them? Like to sit on your lap or kiss you in front of them? Even if she doesn't, your daughters do see her as a threat to them. I hope you can figure out something...to please all of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 578204, member: 1550"] I had a son who disappeared for totally different reason (adopted older, he had issues). I wrote and wrote and wrote and I still haven't spoken to him in six years. He archived all of my letters into his computer (weird, I know) and saw them as negatives and presented them to his new wife as negatives. I'll likely never see him again. It was horrible right after it happened...I am used to it now. At sometime I thought, "I was a good mom to him. It's his loss." Sometimes anything you commit to paper is passed around and everyone sees what they want to see in it. This doesn't mean it won't work. It may. It just means that it could go in either direction. She will probably show her mother. Do you want that? I think you can send her a card that says much of what you want to say. On the bottom maybe you can sign "To t he daughter that nobody can ever replace." And for pity sakes if you spend more on this girlfriend of yours than your daughter, don't let her know! When you first wrote, sounded like daughter did this impulsively for no reason, but it was a long time coming and she had a reason and she is both angry and hurt. Can you keep SO out of her life? If you go to dinner, you can go alone with her and leave SO at home. HER home. You will have to play a difficult balancing act, I'm afraid. You simply have to accept that you can't have it all and it isn't the way you thought it would be in your fantasies. Since you met girlfriend only eighteen months after you and your wife split up, that probably seems like right away to both of your daughters. You probably shouldn't have told your daughters about her until/unless you were close to engagement. You, more than us, know how sensitive your daughters are and you need to take their personalities into consideration. Maybe there is a reason they don't like your SO. Does she hang all over you? Act like she owns you in front of them? Like to sit on your lap or kiss you in front of them? Even if she doesn't, your daughters do see her as a threat to them. I hope you can figure out something...to please all of you. [/QUOTE]
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