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Parent Emeritus
What is tough love, detachment, enabling etc?
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<blockquote data-quote="pasajes4" data-source="post: 622792" data-attributes="member: 12856"><p>My son is only 17 not an adult yet except when it comes to sentencing in the judicial system.</p><p></p><p>I practice "tough love". This he means that you follow house rules, obey the law, and treat me with respect. If you choose not to follow house rules you will begin to be stripped of privileges. These can be earned back. He broke the law and is now having to deal with the natural consequences.</p><p></p><p>Would I kick him out? I can't at 17. I think that kicking him out when he becomes an adult would depend on what he was doing at the time. I know that I will not put up with being abused. I will cross that bridge when I get to it.</p><p></p><p>I am detaching from him. To me this means my emotional well being is not dependent on his emotional well being. I will not rescue him from his bad decisions. He will deal with the consequences. I will not put my financial security on the line to keep him from learning from his mistakes. Will I help him if he wants help and is willing to do the work? Yes</p><p></p><p>Will I refuse to speak to him or see him? That will depend on his behavior toward me. Will I let him know that I love him? Always</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pasajes4, post: 622792, member: 12856"] My son is only 17 not an adult yet except when it comes to sentencing in the judicial system. I practice "tough love". This he means that you follow house rules, obey the law, and treat me with respect. If you choose not to follow house rules you will begin to be stripped of privileges. These can be earned back. He broke the law and is now having to deal with the natural consequences. Would I kick him out? I can't at 17. I think that kicking him out when he becomes an adult would depend on what he was doing at the time. I know that I will not put up with being abused. I will cross that bridge when I get to it. I am detaching from him. To me this means my emotional well being is not dependent on his emotional well being. I will not rescue him from his bad decisions. He will deal with the consequences. I will not put my financial security on the line to keep him from learning from his mistakes. Will I help him if he wants help and is willing to do the work? Yes Will I refuse to speak to him or see him? That will depend on his behavior toward me. Will I let him know that I love him? Always [/QUOTE]
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What is tough love, detachment, enabling etc?
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