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What is tough love, detachment, enabling etc?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 622867" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>toughlovin: I think I wouldn't give my addicted child cash either (but like MWM reminded, I of course don't know what I would do, my difficult child has not been active addict so that I would had known he was) but that is based simply my version of common sense. I don't have any evidence to back up that opinion, so it is not my business to say anyone they are making a mistake if they give money. And again, giving groceries or even helping with rent etc. are things there you never know what choice is best, especially in other people's situations and even with your own it is often just a hunch how you feel is best to do.</p><p></p><p>My dad has been long term alcoholic and addict though nowadays he is mostly moderate drinker. Some would likely call my mom's almost daily pot use and occasionally heavy drinking and harder drugs addiction too, though I don't think she was ever really addicted. With them I have been through about zillion times of deciding when to help and when not and doing different things with different results. Sadly my mom passed away because of skin cancer over a decade ago but my dad is living and kicking. I doubt my dad would be doing so (and having currently have quite a good time with his art and even financially just now) or my mom living as long as she did and accomplishing what she did, if someone had forced them to 'find their rock bottoms' etc. And they were being kept housed and fed many times by the 'enabling' of others, even I tended to buy some of my dad's art when she was in more desperate points even though I did know he likely drank big part of those money.</p><p></p><p>These are not easy decisions and I simply don't believe there is some one truth that works in every situation like 'stop enabling and detach.'</p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 622867, member: 14557"] toughlovin: I think I wouldn't give my addicted child cash either (but like MWM reminded, I of course don't know what I would do, my difficult child has not been active addict so that I would had known he was) but that is based simply my version of common sense. I don't have any evidence to back up that opinion, so it is not my business to say anyone they are making a mistake if they give money. And again, giving groceries or even helping with rent etc. are things there you never know what choice is best, especially in other people's situations and even with your own it is often just a hunch how you feel is best to do. My dad has been long term alcoholic and addict though nowadays he is mostly moderate drinker. Some would likely call my mom's almost daily pot use and occasionally heavy drinking and harder drugs addiction too, though I don't think she was ever really addicted. With them I have been through about zillion times of deciding when to help and when not and doing different things with different results. Sadly my mom passed away because of skin cancer over a decade ago but my dad is living and kicking. I doubt my dad would be doing so (and having currently have quite a good time with his art and even financially just now) or my mom living as long as she did and accomplishing what she did, if someone had forced them to 'find their rock bottoms' etc. And they were being kept housed and fed many times by the 'enabling' of others, even I tended to buy some of my dad's art when she was in more desperate points even though I did know he likely drank big part of those money. These are not easy decisions and I simply don't believe there is some one truth that works in every situation like 'stop enabling and detach.' Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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What is tough love, detachment, enabling etc?
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