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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 756866" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>Well, I have to say I have backed off. I don't ever ask to spend time with her anymore. I let her come to me for conversation - or not. I take care of myself and I have my own schedule. I am busy. I I have made every effort to show her I will be alright when she leaves. She has set several deadlines to move out and then blown her money and asked us to stay. We both agreed provided she be respectful. I let her be. And things had gotten better between us. She hugged me the other day and said she loved me and I was important to her. I was shocked. </p><p></p><p>I took issue with her lying to me and I took issue with her having paraphernalia mailed to my house.</p><p></p><p>I would like her to leave on her terms when she is ready. With love and courtesy. I always thought I would help her move and decorate when our relationship was close. </p><p></p><p>I have worked really hard at letting go , of not getting into her business. I don't discuss her psychiatric appointment, her medications , I don't ask any questions. I don't ask about her friends. She sits by me sometimes and tells me about friends from work. I listen. I try very hard to only comment when she specifically asks me something. I struggle with this one but I try. I am human and a work in progress. Progress not perfection. I am a far cry from who I used to be.</p><p></p><p>When she had an accident, I only answered specific questions. I tell her she can handle things. She asked for number of my body shop and I gave it. She never called and never had the repair done. I didn't say a word about it.</p><p></p><p>So when you mentioned compromising, I assumed that meant communication. I don't really know how to compromise without communication.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 756866, member: 24254"] Well, I have to say I have backed off. I don't ever ask to spend time with her anymore. I let her come to me for conversation - or not. I take care of myself and I have my own schedule. I am busy. I I have made every effort to show her I will be alright when she leaves. She has set several deadlines to move out and then blown her money and asked us to stay. We both agreed provided she be respectful. I let her be. And things had gotten better between us. She hugged me the other day and said she loved me and I was important to her. I was shocked. I took issue with her lying to me and I took issue with her having paraphernalia mailed to my house. I would like her to leave on her terms when she is ready. With love and courtesy. I always thought I would help her move and decorate when our relationship was close. I have worked really hard at letting go , of not getting into her business. I don't discuss her psychiatric appointment, her medications , I don't ask any questions. I don't ask about her friends. She sits by me sometimes and tells me about friends from work. I listen. I try very hard to only comment when she specifically asks me something. I struggle with this one but I try. I am human and a work in progress. Progress not perfection. I am a far cry from who I used to be. When she had an accident, I only answered specific questions. I tell her she can handle things. She asked for number of my body shop and I gave it. She never called and never had the repair done. I didn't say a word about it. So when you mentioned compromising, I assumed that meant communication. I don't really know how to compromise without communication. [/QUOTE]
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