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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 619656" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>OK I ran into someone I know tonight at a town event. She is he mother of one of difficult children classmates who I have known for years. She is not someone I confide in very much but she knows difficult child and knows some of his history. So we chatted about all of our other kids (hers and my easy child) but I could not leave the conversation without mentioning difficult child because that would just be an obvious omission. So I did tell her that difficult child is in the area and is doing pretty well and is in rehab. </p><p></p><p>She then told me her niece is having some issues her first year in college. Her brother has had to tell her she cant live at home if she doesnt obey the rules. Sound familiar??? My heart of course went out to her brother. </p><p></p><p>So then she says to me " I just told him that we just have to try and keep them safe!". </p><p></p><p>Well darn it that is so easy to say but impossible sometimes to do.... because sometimes keeping them safe in our minds means enabling them in their drug use which of course does not keep them safe. So yeah I would have liked to keep my son safe, made sure he had a place to live, food to eat and all that.....instead I let him be homeless for several months!!! The whole statement kind of bothered me.... and I did not go into it with her because of course she doesnt get it because with a non difficult child kid, it is obvious that you do what you have to do to keep them safe.</p><p></p><p>But for us with serious drug using difficult children sometimes that is just plain impossible. And the best thing we can do is to not help them unless they are willing to do what they can to help themselves and that means letting them in fact face unsafe situations.</p><p></p><p>Anyway just need to express that to folks who know what I mean.</p><p></p><p>And thank goodness this came up while my difficult child is safe!! He actually called us today....decided to call us on the day he can make a phone call, instead of shooting himself in the foot (his words) and calling the girlfriend (or whatever she is). When I asked him what he thought of the place he said "It is growing on me". He sounded really good!! I am trying not to get too excited and just reminding myself to take one day at a time.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent from my iPad using ConductDisorders</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 619656, member: 15801"] OK I ran into someone I know tonight at a town event. She is he mother of one of difficult children classmates who I have known for years. She is not someone I confide in very much but she knows difficult child and knows some of his history. So we chatted about all of our other kids (hers and my easy child) but I could not leave the conversation without mentioning difficult child because that would just be an obvious omission. So I did tell her that difficult child is in the area and is doing pretty well and is in rehab. She then told me her niece is having some issues her first year in college. Her brother has had to tell her she cant live at home if she doesnt obey the rules. Sound familiar??? My heart of course went out to her brother. So then she says to me " I just told him that we just have to try and keep them safe!". Well darn it that is so easy to say but impossible sometimes to do.... because sometimes keeping them safe in our minds means enabling them in their drug use which of course does not keep them safe. So yeah I would have liked to keep my son safe, made sure he had a place to live, food to eat and all that.....instead I let him be homeless for several months!!! The whole statement kind of bothered me.... and I did not go into it with her because of course she doesnt get it because with a non difficult child kid, it is obvious that you do what you have to do to keep them safe. But for us with serious drug using difficult children sometimes that is just plain impossible. And the best thing we can do is to not help them unless they are willing to do what they can to help themselves and that means letting them in fact face unsafe situations. Anyway just need to express that to folks who know what I mean. And thank goodness this came up while my difficult child is safe!! He actually called us today....decided to call us on the day he can make a phone call, instead of shooting himself in the foot (his words) and calling the girlfriend (or whatever she is). When I asked him what he thought of the place he said "It is growing on me". He sounded really good!! I am trying not to get too excited and just reminding myself to take one day at a time. TL Sent from my iPad using ConductDisorders [/QUOTE]
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