What recent revelations have you had that remind you that your "normal" isn't everyon

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Shari, Oct 5, 2009.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    This weekend, we had tickets to a concert in St Louis that I planned to take the kids to. There is a store I wanted to stop at on the way, but it closes at 4. The concert wasn't until 8. In chatting with aquaintances on Friday, I mentioned that I'd really like to go to this store while I was in town, but I didn't know what I would do with wee difficult child for the 4 hours between the store and the concert. My plan was not to go to the store.
    These people looked at me in horror. Why would I consider not going to this store while I was in town just because of my kid?
    It was a relatively minor revelation, but a revelation, nonetheless. "Normal" people would take their 7 year old along on their day. "We" plan our day around the 7 year old...
    So what things have happened to you that make you realize the oddities that have become your "normal"?
  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    1) I was shopping for teething rings the other day. NOT for the babies, but for Little easy child. His Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and need to chew is such that if I didn't give him teething rings, he would chew through pop cans, elastic bands, newspaper and what-have-you. He used to prefer the little rubber chew bones for dogs, but has recently developed a preference for teething rings.

    2) I just finished buying new bathing suits for difficult child. Not because he's swimming, but because he needs "coverage" for when the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff do shower/bath training.

    I guess the fact that both of these things seem perfectly reasonable to me suggest that my view of "normal" is also skewed...

  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    LOL, Trinity, I used to buy water line tubing for ice makers for refigerators. I bought so much, the guys at Lowe's recognized me. They knew I wasn't a contractor or anything like that, and finally asked what I was doing with all that.

    When wee difficult child "chewed" on everything (eating his shirts was his fav...), that's what we gave him to chew...lol I bet we used a whole spool of that stuff before he quit!

    Teething rings are a great idea, tho!
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Having to pack medications for the difficult child's if we're going on an outing and deciding whether its' difficult child 1 or difficult child 2 or both who will be affected by the timing of our trip, and then having to remember to GIVE them their medications while we are out. Or having to turn around and go back home for medications we've forgotten, knowing that if we choose to just skip it, the consequences will not be pretty.

    Having to plan evening social events at my home around difficult child's who don't do well if they don't get to bed on time.

    Having to turn my house into a "morgue" at homework time every afternoon because the tolerance for distractions here is nil. Plus having to stay within earshort or sight to ensure difficult child 2 stays on task the whole time.

    Having to handle the mountains of medical, insurance, and school paperwork because of my family's myriad mental, phsyical, and academic issues. I feel like I spend my life sorting, filing and shredding paper.

    Having my home in a constant state of chaos as the trade-off for not being a screaming witch because my family seems unable to pick up after themselves.

    Those are some of the signs.

    It's nice that we can come here and know that our version of normal is pretty close to everyone else's here!
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I'm feeling like my normal is more normal than all of my friends... in real life and here both!

    I think the weirdest thing I've done is invested in a whole lot of matching indoor locks... And hidden the keys. I have one at work, one in my car - in the trunk under the far edge of the carpet - of course my keyring - and in the cabinet on the back of the post. Oh, and in the cuckoo clock too.

    And that's about it. I did turn one lock so it can be locked from the outside AND superglued the bottom lock so I cannot be locked out AGAIN... since someone jammed the keyhole with a stick...
  6. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Are you telling me that's not really normal? Holy cow, I thought it was....add to my list...
  7. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I've had variations on that one many many times...others look at you like you are the meanest person in the world or you are clueless or they are confused...it just goes over like a led balloon. Still others know perfectly well WHY, but do NOT OFFER TO HELP one bit. UGH!

    Recently, our son (easy child) was married. Our difficult child did not attend. The idea of going to this wedding made her nervous...and she was profoundly difficult. Anyway, it was giant loss/a giant revelation and deeply painful. Need I say more....

    Ya know, I suspect most families have 'situations" that they have to cope with-. However, I also suppose many of us have a few extras thrown in. It is a good question...makes you think.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I only spray Chlorox on my son's mattress twice a week, and put up with-the urine smell the rest of the time ...

    I never take my difficult child anywhere just for fun; it's got to be a planned event ...

    I have locks on things that I would normally never consider locking.

  9. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Nomad, its so hard when difficult children are left out of family gatherings, either on purpose or as a "side effect" of their issues. It hurts.

    Step, that reminds me of difficult child 1...he was a food hoarder. We hid food in our laundry hamper and locked it in the trunk of the cars to keep him from finding it and either hoarding it or eating it all in one sitting. lol We don't do that since he's gone, now, but your post reminds me of that!
  10. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    On the emergency form they asked for the primary doctor's phone number, and then had to use it----then I found out I put the psychiatrist's number down instead of the pediatrician.

    I ask my teen to consider helping me with the laundry as I am having trouble with my time management-----in my best kind of sarcastic tone---and he replies...that sounds like a basket C issue to me.

    When the behavorial health practice office calls to verify appts, I simply answer the phone---Hi Rudy, we'll see you tomorrow at 7!

    And, the very new normal---as we are now experiencing our first inpatient visit-----helpful difficult child brother practically screams down the supermarket aisle---can we bring her plastic bottles of juice is that not allowed?

    Yes, normal is Quite the relative term.
  11. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Lizanne, you just reminded me of a few more:

    Having psychiatrist's phone number memorized better than my mother in law's.

    Knowing our medical insurance policy and group numbers better than my bank account numbers!

    Knowing better what medicines are in our cabinets and who's taking what at what strengths and when than what's in my pantry or refrigerator.
  12. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I have marked down the first day I took wee difficult child to the grocery store that he DIDN'T lick the canned goods. Oh happy day!
  13. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    When difficult child was younger and would rage and you could hear her at the street with windows and doors closed, I would sit on the porch so the neighbors wouldn't think I was beating my child.

    When you can't get a therapist to listen until you call them and they hear your child raging through a closed door, on a different floor of the house, through the phone and on the voicemail and they call you the next day and, say, wow. And you feel relieved.
  14. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    When I actually am crazy enough or desperate enough and take the girls with me to the grocery store, I think nothing of saying very loudly many times, "K and N please watch were you are going because no-one else is." (because they walk around spacing out drifting around the store).

    I used to think nothing of saying from down the aisle, "Stop licking the cart"... they have both stopped this.

    I am completely comfortable going into our little Italian restaurant at 4:30 because of the girls inability to deal with chaos.
    N will be wearing her headphones and eventually during dinner as it gets busy she has to lay down on my lap!
    K has to have her headphones once we get in and she will play her educational game.
  15. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    The fact that the minute I open my eyes every single day I wonder what mood K will be in and how she will be feeling, if she slept well etc.
    I do this with N but not as often or not with as much urgency.

    That I think and plan for the fact that my child may never be able to live outside of my home or on her own.
  16. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I have that.

    Plus, Duckie is unusually grateful for hand-me-downs because the clothing isn't scratchy or stiff. She's the only one of her friends that will melt down at the prospect of wearing tights. She also listens to music at a significantly quieter level than the other girls she knows.

    I'm also the only parent I know that uses hand signals in public to cue my daughter, and will hold my ground with her no matter what (in fear of an escalation on her part).

    I also had to create a fictitious character (The Magical Fairy) in order for me to give her little treats and gifts because she just couldn't handle positive interactions with myself or husband. :(
  17. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    The pharmacist greets me and all three of my kids by first name -- and sees us just about every week, if not more often.
  18. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Many of what others said,
    *Knowing the psychiatrist and pharmacy # by heart!
    *Needing to avoid taking difficult child many places for fear of his tantrums in public when he doesn't get his way.
    *Instead of driving my son to soccer and basketball games I drive him to psychiatrist and therapist appts.
    *Packing medications for everything.
    *Feeling I should own stock in Walgreens.
    *Locking up knives and other sharp objects.
    *Having to hide things so they don't get stolen.
    *When I see a BiPolar (BP) gas station I think of Bipolar Disorder!
    *Not being surprised when I get a call to come pick up my son because he has been suspended.

    I'm sure there's more but that's what I thought of right away!
  19. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    The pharmacist is not surprised when I list the side effects to them.

    You have to remind the doctors nurse of a medication interaction.

    You cannot even think about joining the car pool because your child is such a &^**%^& in the morning and your husband is one in the afternoon(if he wakes up).

    You have more prescription drugs than over the counter drugs in your house.

    You had to buy a new medication box for your husband as the old one was too small! Who outgrows a medication box?

    You have more books on BiPolar (BP) than fiction books on the shelf.
  20. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green


    THIS is going to be a list! :tongue:

    When I go to CVS to pick up medications, most of the staff asks if it's for difficult child before I even finish my sentence.

    We don't lock the house but have a deadbolt on our bedroom door that is used often.

    Also, any security within our home (wood dowels to keep the windows from being opened easily from the outside for instance) isn't to keep strangers from breaking in but to keep difficult child from breaking into our room.

    We have shelving in our bedroom that we use to store food so difficult child doesn't eat it all in one sitting or eat some and toss the rest.

    We keep our laundry detergent in our room to keep difficult child from using a full scoop for 2 shirts and a pair of boxers.

    I keep my personal beauty products in a tote in my room for basically the same reason as the food.

    If there is an article in the local paper about a student at difficult child's school being arrested but doesn't mention the student's name, my friends will call to see if it was difficult child.

    Local cops will see me out and about and ask about difficult child.

    My doctor regularly asks me if I need anything for stress and/or depression.

    People ask before giving me gifts of "pretties" to see if it is something I can put out in my house or have to lock up.

    I get emails, phone calls, messages, etc. regarding any new treatments or miracle cures for Bipolar, ADHD or anything that resembles what people think difficult child has. Also in this category is advanced notice of any shows dealing with bratty kids such as Super Nanny, that come from clueless but helpful friends/relatives.

    When I buy needed household items I choose them by how much money I'm willing to throw out the window instead of looks or quality for when difficult child decides that the item would be much better suited for another use or just simply takes it apart to use one tiny spring for something.

    When cleaning and reorganizing our room, husband would show me something and ask where it went. When my reply was "In here" he knew without explanation that it was something I was not willing to put in difficult child's line of sight just yet. (And THIS my friends, is why my room is crammed full of household and decorative items.....and food, cleaning supplies, medications, etc.)

    We don't use any storage space in the cellar because we can't lock it.

    We have sometimes kept items at a friend's house because we had no room to keep it safe in our house.

    I'm sure there are lots more but I'll leave it at this for now. LOL