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What role did you play in your family as a child?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 729505" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Marlboro I had no idea about personality disorders as a young person. But I was split black. Mother had many over the top heroes. Nobody was just okay to her. People were all good or all bad.</p><p> Even when I, black sheep, , did something very nice she turned it bad. Like adopting my kids. I did it for the money of course. Lol there was no money but she said "I don't believe you." What else is new? I HAD to have bad motives for all I did. That was Mommie Dearest.</p><p></p><p>The only person in my family who was totally nice was my brother. Everyone else had serious issues but either did not admit it (still don't) or truly believed they were healthy! Annosgnosia. Now I get it. I had no idea especially how my clearly wacky mom could think she was normal but I'm sure she thought she was.</p><p></p><p>The only person in my small family of origin with a normal loving non dysfunctional family of choice is me, the scapegoat. I think most of my family of origin have serious problems getting romantically close to anyone. With intimacy. My mother never had a lpving long term good relationship. She left my dad. My brother did not either. My uncle married after his mother died. He was petrified to be alone and too selfish to have kids. He was overly attached to his mother even into his 40s. My mother worshipped ( not just liked...</p><p>Worshipped) many people mostly male..her</p><p>.brother, my brother, her boyfriend before he cheated on her....ad nauseum. Black and White. Nobody was okay. They were all good or all bad. I was all bad. Dad was all bad. My husband was bad. Not one redeeming feature did any of us have. Splitting.</p><p></p><p>I am glad I detached. I see my sister struggle to love a normal man and she can't. I think it is just being around the DNA group too much for too long. She claimed shes never loved her husband snd divorced him. Now she is totally addicted to a narcicist and they are awful to each other. She is not a terrible person. I just can't risk her cop calls and her drama wears me out. And too much was done for me to trust her. And I wasn't an angel either. I fought back. She hated that. There are other stories beyond how she called the cops me, like her sudden silent treatments but that I could live with. What I no longer want is the threat of cops. And since she never says that was a bad way to handle a situation that was not illegal, I would rather not speak to her than risk her doing that again. The constant silent treatments in between her calling me to start another relationship again ( doomed to fail) and then the inevitable cops call has worn me out and is so typical of both the on/off behavior and the revenge seeking of the Borderline (BPD).</p><p></p><p>I am going to stick with my positive peeps <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 729505, member: 1550"] Marlboro I had no idea about personality disorders as a young person. But I was split black. Mother had many over the top heroes. Nobody was just okay to her. People were all good or all bad. Even when I, black sheep, , did something very nice she turned it bad. Like adopting my kids. I did it for the money of course. Lol there was no money but she said "I don't believe you." What else is new? I HAD to have bad motives for all I did. That was Mommie Dearest. The only person in my family who was totally nice was my brother. Everyone else had serious issues but either did not admit it (still don't) or truly believed they were healthy! Annosgnosia. Now I get it. I had no idea especially how my clearly wacky mom could think she was normal but I'm sure she thought she was. The only person in my small family of origin with a normal loving non dysfunctional family of choice is me, the scapegoat. I think most of my family of origin have serious problems getting romantically close to anyone. With intimacy. My mother never had a lpving long term good relationship. She left my dad. My brother did not either. My uncle married after his mother died. He was petrified to be alone and too selfish to have kids. He was overly attached to his mother even into his 40s. My mother worshipped ( not just liked... Worshipped) many people mostly male..her .brother, my brother, her boyfriend before he cheated on her....ad nauseum. Black and White. Nobody was okay. They were all good or all bad. I was all bad. Dad was all bad. My husband was bad. Not one redeeming feature did any of us have. Splitting. I am glad I detached. I see my sister struggle to love a normal man and she can't. I think it is just being around the DNA group too much for too long. She claimed shes never loved her husband snd divorced him. Now she is totally addicted to a narcicist and they are awful to each other. She is not a terrible person. I just can't risk her cop calls and her drama wears me out. And too much was done for me to trust her. And I wasn't an angel either. I fought back. She hated that. There are other stories beyond how she called the cops me, like her sudden silent treatments but that I could live with. What I no longer want is the threat of cops. And since she never says that was a bad way to handle a situation that was not illegal, I would rather not speak to her than risk her doing that again. The constant silent treatments in between her calling me to start another relationship again ( doomed to fail) and then the inevitable cops call has worn me out and is so typical of both the on/off behavior and the revenge seeking of the Borderline (BPD). I am going to stick with my positive peeps :) [/QUOTE]
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