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What role did you play in your family as a child?
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 729555" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>I've mentioned before, I had great parents and I was a great kid. Very Leave it to Beaver family. I have one older brother and my parents were old enough to be our grandparents. They were 19 and 35 when they married and were married 13 years before my brother came and another 4 before me, so I think they appreciated having kids more than a lot of younger parents. Plus, they'd had their honeymoon period a lot longer and being tied down to kids wasn't a burden. That doesn't mean they weren't strict, because they tended to be, and never yelled or spanked, because that happened too; but they were good, loving, parents. We were poor, but never really knew it. They stood up for us. The school principal never really wanted to see our mom coming. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>In return, my brother and I were good kids. We liked each other okay...though we really don't have much to do with one another as adults. It's not that we don't love each other still - we just don't have a lot in common. But we both were obedient and loving children. That's not to say we never did anything wrong - we were kids and kids do that. But generally speaking, we'd never do anything that would make our parent's truly ashamed of us. Having my mother tell me she was disappointed in me was worse than any spanking.</p><p></p><p>If there were any labels, I'd say I was the smart one. Unfair perhaps to us, but so mild really. My brother was smart, but rather unmotivated as a student. C's and B's were fine...and for some reason, my parent's didn't push him. I'd bring home an A- and my mom might say, "Well that's nice dear, but why isn't it an A?" There was no push for him to go to college - though he married young and really had no choice after that...but it was always assumed I would go to college. I was never asked if I was going - I just was. (When I brought home a 3.3 gpa first semester - Mom asked why I wasn't on Dean's list. When I brought home a 3.5 and made Dean's list, she asked why it wasn't a 4.0. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/unsure.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":unsure:" title="unsure :unsure:" data-shortname=":unsure:" /> I made a 3.75 and then a 4.0 pretty much every semester after that.) My brother did tell me much later that it bothered him, how proud they were of me. They put my picture in the local paper when I got into college, saved the clipping from every Dean's list announcement - which I just realized they don't put in the paper - so they much have gotten that published! - and put a photo and announcement when I got into law school too. They bragged on me a lot. My brother actually has two degrees now, is in a higher government position than I and makes a lot more money than me - all after my parent's passed away. They would be so proud of him too.</p><p></p><p>I do think their attitudes weren't favoritism, but simply how they saw the world. As a kid (mom) and young adult (dad) during the depression, they were hard working and frugal and fairly sexist really. Men were supposed to work hard - it was the manly thing to do. My mom had always worked too...she'd been a cook or laborer all her life and she had a simple goal for me: She wanted me to work in air conditioning. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Really, that's it. She told me that many times - to sit in air conditioning, instead of slaving over a stove and fryer in a hot kitchen...that was her dream for me.</p><p></p><p>It's been nearly 29 years since I lost Daddy and 31 since I lost Mom. I still miss them both every single day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 729555, member: 17309"] I've mentioned before, I had great parents and I was a great kid. Very Leave it to Beaver family. I have one older brother and my parents were old enough to be our grandparents. They were 19 and 35 when they married and were married 13 years before my brother came and another 4 before me, so I think they appreciated having kids more than a lot of younger parents. Plus, they'd had their honeymoon period a lot longer and being tied down to kids wasn't a burden. That doesn't mean they weren't strict, because they tended to be, and never yelled or spanked, because that happened too; but they were good, loving, parents. We were poor, but never really knew it. They stood up for us. The school principal never really wanted to see our mom coming. ;) In return, my brother and I were good kids. We liked each other okay...though we really don't have much to do with one another as adults. It's not that we don't love each other still - we just don't have a lot in common. But we both were obedient and loving children. That's not to say we never did anything wrong - we were kids and kids do that. But generally speaking, we'd never do anything that would make our parent's truly ashamed of us. Having my mother tell me she was disappointed in me was worse than any spanking. If there were any labels, I'd say I was the smart one. Unfair perhaps to us, but so mild really. My brother was smart, but rather unmotivated as a student. C's and B's were fine...and for some reason, my parent's didn't push him. I'd bring home an A- and my mom might say, "Well that's nice dear, but why isn't it an A?" There was no push for him to go to college - though he married young and really had no choice after that...but it was always assumed I would go to college. I was never asked if I was going - I just was. (When I brought home a 3.3 gpa first semester - Mom asked why I wasn't on Dean's list. When I brought home a 3.5 and made Dean's list, she asked why it wasn't a 4.0. :unsure: I made a 3.75 and then a 4.0 pretty much every semester after that.) My brother did tell me much later that it bothered him, how proud they were of me. They put my picture in the local paper when I got into college, saved the clipping from every Dean's list announcement - which I just realized they don't put in the paper - so they much have gotten that published! - and put a photo and announcement when I got into law school too. They bragged on me a lot. My brother actually has two degrees now, is in a higher government position than I and makes a lot more money than me - all after my parent's passed away. They would be so proud of him too. I do think their attitudes weren't favoritism, but simply how they saw the world. As a kid (mom) and young adult (dad) during the depression, they were hard working and frugal and fairly sexist really. Men were supposed to work hard - it was the manly thing to do. My mom had always worked too...she'd been a cook or laborer all her life and she had a simple goal for me: She wanted me to work in air conditioning. :) Really, that's it. She told me that many times - to sit in air conditioning, instead of slaving over a stove and fryer in a hot kitchen...that was her dream for me. It's been nearly 29 years since I lost Daddy and 31 since I lost Mom. I still miss them both every single day. [/QUOTE]
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