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what should I do with H & closure
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 184872" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Wow, you guys are great..........and all of you in one form or another have posted some amazing insight. (you all seem to know me so well<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" />)</p><p></p><p>So, nvts............you hit the nail on the head that I feel like I need to protect H. from my parents. I always have, because of the abuse, because she was my little sister, because I have always felt overly protective of her (something she did not like, actually.) I <em>still</em> feel like I need to make sure she is protected. It is an overpowering drive within me, even though it makes no sense now. She is not even here.</p><p></p><p>I have reason to believe that her partner, of only one year, is now having a relationship with H.s best friend from college. My parents are actually the ones who brought it to my attention, and yet they still want to give the partner the moon and more. So yes, I have an inordinate amount of anger, that is displaced all over the spectrum. And I guess I do feel like possibly I need to try and carry out what H would have wanted me to do, which is protect her from our parents.</p><p></p><p>However, in order to do that requires so much mental anguish, I am seriously not sure H would want me to do that. Perhaps I should focus that mental energy on how she died, and be her vigilante in that way. I don't know. </p><p></p><p>Truthfully I think the best way to let her go, is by truly letting go of all of our past issues, roles, and baggage, and simply focus and remember her true spirit. The true essence of H. Not her pain, and my role in solving or fixing that - but her as a beautiful spirit and being - irrelevant of any earthly living mortal thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 184872, member: 3301"] Wow, you guys are great..........and all of you in one form or another have posted some amazing insight. (you all seem to know me so well:happy:) So, nvts............you hit the nail on the head that I feel like I need to protect H. from my parents. I always have, because of the abuse, because she was my little sister, because I have always felt overly protective of her (something she did not like, actually.) I [I]still[/I] feel like I need to make sure she is protected. It is an overpowering drive within me, even though it makes no sense now. She is not even here. I have reason to believe that her partner, of only one year, is now having a relationship with H.s best friend from college. My parents are actually the ones who brought it to my attention, and yet they still want to give the partner the moon and more. So yes, I have an inordinate amount of anger, that is displaced all over the spectrum. And I guess I do feel like possibly I need to try and carry out what H would have wanted me to do, which is protect her from our parents. However, in order to do that requires so much mental anguish, I am seriously not sure H would want me to do that. Perhaps I should focus that mental energy on how she died, and be her vigilante in that way. I don't know. Truthfully I think the best way to let her go, is by truly letting go of all of our past issues, roles, and baggage, and simply focus and remember her true spirit. The true essence of H. Not her pain, and my role in solving or fixing that - but her as a beautiful spirit and being - irrelevant of any earthly living mortal thing. [/QUOTE]
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