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What should I have done?
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<blockquote data-quote="JLady" data-source="post: 225850" data-attributes="member: 6439"><p>I think I've had some sort of breakthrough here. Help me out folks (because you are all so wise).</p><p> </p><p>Last night at dinner... my son wanted to know what he had to drink. I told him sprite. He said he doesn't like sprite any more. So I took it away from him - mainly to see his reaction. Guess what? He began down the explosive path. First he insisted he needed his drink. "But you said you didn't like sprite - You need to eat anyway. Take 2 more bites of your food and you can have your sprite back". <strong>This doesn't work does it?</strong> No. It doesn't. He began throwing a fit. I said that isn't going to work. Take 2 bites and you can have your sprite back. At first, I was just trying to get him to eat but suddenly I found myself witnessing what I have been reading in the explosive child and what many of you have been talking about. </p><p> </p><p>I remained calm. easy child 1 left the table because she was so disgusted with what was happening. I just kept saying eat your two bites and you can have it back. Then he claimed that he had food stuck in his throat and NEEDED the drink. I assured him he did not have food in his throat. Now we approach what I call "battle of the wills". His will to have his drink and my will that he will eat two bites before he gets a drink. He begins yelling and telling me I'm ugly, I'm mean, He hates me.... I calmly say eat your food and you can have your drink back. He starts slamming his fits on the table, kicking, saying mean things, yelling, screaming.... My patience are gone. I begin to yell. He gets worse. I grab the board and swat him once on the rear and tell him to eat. He gets worse. I remove him from the table, take him to his room and shut the door. Kicking, screaming, crying, hitting noises coming from the room.</p><p> </p><p>I take a deep breath and think... I just did all the things that <strong>don't</strong> work. (I'm a bit slow some times) I open his door, I give him a hug and say calm down. It's ok. I hold him really close and say shhhh...... I take him back into the dinning room and say just eat your two bites and you get your drink back. He cries and yells the entire time but he is calmer and takes the two bites. Upon the second bite going in his mouth, I give him the drink. The war is over. Nothing ever happened. He is calm and happy again! He doesn't eat another bite of food either.</p><p> </p><p>Of course all of this happened very quickly and emotions were high! Another dinner meal at our house. Should I have just instantly given the drink back? Obviously, the sequence of events didn't change a thing except my visual of the actual explosive acts happening (which I didn't see until after the fact). Is this actually progress?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JLady, post: 225850, member: 6439"] I think I've had some sort of breakthrough here. Help me out folks (because you are all so wise). Last night at dinner... my son wanted to know what he had to drink. I told him sprite. He said he doesn't like sprite any more. So I took it away from him - mainly to see his reaction. Guess what? He began down the explosive path. First he insisted he needed his drink. "But you said you didn't like sprite - You need to eat anyway. Take 2 more bites of your food and you can have your sprite back". [B]This doesn't work does it?[/B] No. It doesn't. He began throwing a fit. I said that isn't going to work. Take 2 bites and you can have your sprite back. At first, I was just trying to get him to eat but suddenly I found myself witnessing what I have been reading in the explosive child and what many of you have been talking about. I remained calm. easy child 1 left the table because she was so disgusted with what was happening. I just kept saying eat your two bites and you can have it back. Then he claimed that he had food stuck in his throat and NEEDED the drink. I assured him he did not have food in his throat. Now we approach what I call "battle of the wills". His will to have his drink and my will that he will eat two bites before he gets a drink. He begins yelling and telling me I'm ugly, I'm mean, He hates me.... I calmly say eat your food and you can have your drink back. He starts slamming his fits on the table, kicking, saying mean things, yelling, screaming.... My patience are gone. I begin to yell. He gets worse. I grab the board and swat him once on the rear and tell him to eat. He gets worse. I remove him from the table, take him to his room and shut the door. Kicking, screaming, crying, hitting noises coming from the room. I take a deep breath and think... I just did all the things that [B]don't[/B] work. (I'm a bit slow some times) I open his door, I give him a hug and say calm down. It's ok. I hold him really close and say shhhh...... I take him back into the dinning room and say just eat your two bites and you get your drink back. He cries and yells the entire time but he is calmer and takes the two bites. Upon the second bite going in his mouth, I give him the drink. The war is over. Nothing ever happened. He is calm and happy again! He doesn't eat another bite of food either. Of course all of this happened very quickly and emotions were high! Another dinner meal at our house. Should I have just instantly given the drink back? Obviously, the sequence of events didn't change a thing except my visual of the actual explosive acts happening (which I didn't see until after the fact). Is this actually progress? [/QUOTE]
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