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What should I have done?
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 225914" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I think basket A depends on you and your priorities. Maybe it is that for an hour on Friday evening, Mom is going to take time for herself and short of a life-threatening emergency, that is not going to change. (This depends a lot on how stable your difficult child is.) Maybe it is that he is going to take his medications at a certain time every day, or no plying video games until homework or 1/2 chores are done. Justkeep in mind, basket A items can change with time too. </p><p></p><p>As far as triggers, for my son with BiPolar (BP), the first thing is to make a list of what I think might be triggers, then try to prevent them, if I can't prevent them, then develop a plan of how to deal with them as they are transpiring in order to minimize negative outcomes, then, try to develop a plan of what to do if it reaches the point of raging or mania anyway. (I don't have this mastered- it is a work in progress!)</p><p></p><p>The people here are a good resource when you have a specific issue that you're not sure how to deal with. For instance, once my son was starting to rage while I was making him complete a project for school. I posted, got a few ideas to try and a reminder about the TEC concept. I tried a different approach and my son turned himself around and did his work. </p><p></p><p>For me, sometimes the things that start in basket A- like doing school projects, stay important things for me, but the way I go about it changes. IOW, it wasn't so important that the project got completed all at once within 30 mins, just that it got completed before bedtime. So, a talk about doing 1/2 before dinner, then completing it after dinner but before free time might be a good solution. At my son's age, a big goal is to engage him in recognizing what's bugging him and encourgaing him to talk to someone about it rather than just reacting impulsively.</p><p></p><p>As you get furthr into this, I think it will become more obvious to you what needs to be worked on first, it will be based on his major issues and what is driving you up the wall and interfering with everyone's daily life the most.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 225914, member: 3699"] I think basket A depends on you and your priorities. Maybe it is that for an hour on Friday evening, Mom is going to take time for herself and short of a life-threatening emergency, that is not going to change. (This depends a lot on how stable your difficult child is.) Maybe it is that he is going to take his medications at a certain time every day, or no plying video games until homework or 1/2 chores are done. Justkeep in mind, basket A items can change with time too. As far as triggers, for my son with BiPolar (BP), the first thing is to make a list of what I think might be triggers, then try to prevent them, if I can't prevent them, then develop a plan of how to deal with them as they are transpiring in order to minimize negative outcomes, then, try to develop a plan of what to do if it reaches the point of raging or mania anyway. (I don't have this mastered- it is a work in progress!) The people here are a good resource when you have a specific issue that you're not sure how to deal with. For instance, once my son was starting to rage while I was making him complete a project for school. I posted, got a few ideas to try and a reminder about the TEC concept. I tried a different approach and my son turned himself around and did his work. For me, sometimes the things that start in basket A- like doing school projects, stay important things for me, but the way I go about it changes. IOW, it wasn't so important that the project got completed all at once within 30 mins, just that it got completed before bedtime. So, a talk about doing 1/2 before dinner, then completing it after dinner but before free time might be a good solution. At my son's age, a big goal is to engage him in recognizing what's bugging him and encourgaing him to talk to someone about it rather than just reacting impulsively. As you get furthr into this, I think it will become more obvious to you what needs to be worked on first, it will be based on his major issues and what is driving you up the wall and interfering with everyone's daily life the most. [/QUOTE]
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