Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
what should I have done??
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 434288" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>No personal experience with such situations, here's my observation:</p><p></p><p>Today you approached it as you have to do XYZ. These are fun things for difficult child, but also considered responsibilities (to the team) So you continued on hoping that difficult child would calm down before the game, and he did. Unfortunately, you threatened the loss of the game, but he got it anyway despite never having calmed down. This sends a message that he can behave any way he wants and ultimately gets what he wants - food and his game. I've learned to be careful of what I threaten to take away. I learned early on that if the punishment would be no TV for a week, I ended up more punished than my son (he'd be pestering me instead) but if I said it, I HAD to do it. </p><p></p><p>Plan for the next time, and see what happens if you indeed cancel his participation of the game. It may get worse at first, but may ultimately help in curbing his behavior the following time if you threaten the loss of the game. If you had already planned on take out, go get it and bring it home. If he refuses to "place an order" don't get him anything. He can have a PB&J if he decides he's hungry.</p><p></p><p>Backtracking to the basketball thing:</p><p> </p><p>It doesn't sound like he calmed down at all, but got to go back out. Again he got what he wanted without doing what he was supposed to do. If he did calm down before he went, but got right back to yelling, I would have brought him right back in again.</p><p></p><p>I bet you didn't have to think this much with your easy child? Just that threat of taking a privilege away made her listen/behave, but that's because she was/is a easy child, she has a different temperament, and more easily understand right from wrong, good behavior from bad, I want this and Mom expects me to do that so I will so I can get this, etc.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 434288, member: 11965"] No personal experience with such situations, here's my observation: Today you approached it as you have to do XYZ. These are fun things for difficult child, but also considered responsibilities (to the team) So you continued on hoping that difficult child would calm down before the game, and he did. Unfortunately, you threatened the loss of the game, but he got it anyway despite never having calmed down. This sends a message that he can behave any way he wants and ultimately gets what he wants - food and his game. I've learned to be careful of what I threaten to take away. I learned early on that if the punishment would be no TV for a week, I ended up more punished than my son (he'd be pestering me instead) but if I said it, I HAD to do it. Plan for the next time, and see what happens if you indeed cancel his participation of the game. It may get worse at first, but may ultimately help in curbing his behavior the following time if you threaten the loss of the game. If you had already planned on take out, go get it and bring it home. If he refuses to "place an order" don't get him anything. He can have a PB&J if he decides he's hungry. Backtracking to the basketball thing: It doesn't sound like he calmed down at all, but got to go back out. Again he got what he wanted without doing what he was supposed to do. If he did calm down before he went, but got right back to yelling, I would have brought him right back in again. I bet you didn't have to think this much with your easy child? Just that threat of taking a privilege away made her listen/behave, but that's because she was/is a easy child, she has a different temperament, and more easily understand right from wrong, good behavior from bad, I want this and Mom expects me to do that so I will so I can get this, etc. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
what should I have done??
Top