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what should I have done??
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<blockquote data-quote="Chris Honey" data-source="post: 434304" data-attributes="member: 12111"><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Our difficult child does some of the same issues at 14. The only benefit with having a child doing this at an older age is it doesn't make you look like a terrible parent. People look more at a teenager throwing a tantrum, then the parents. We still have a hard time finding rewards & consequences for these types of behavior. One of the things that works for us when we need to go someplace, letting him know if he behaves, he will get such n such (food is his big motivator so usually Subway, or McDonalds). If he can't manage to behave during that time no reward. I don't always use a bribe however and will use an *or else*. The problem in our situation, and don't know if the same for you or not, not every punishment works as expected. With a situation like you described, I would try maybe a timeout in difficult child's bedroom. <em>A child can stay in their rooms all day, but as soon as you send them there, they want out.</em> Give him time to calm down, and then when/if he does, then you can approach going to the game, or if took longer for the cool down, explain that you're sorry they couldn't make the game, and you know how much he loves to play, but he needs to calm down, and follow directions to be able to go next time. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Please take anything I say as my thoughts, and me only trying to help. If they offer any help, than I'm more than happy. I'm in the trenches here myself, and learning everyday what works & doesn't work here. Hang in there!</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Chris Honey, post: 434304, member: 12111"] [FONT=Tahoma]Our difficult child does some of the same issues at 14. The only benefit with having a child doing this at an older age is it doesn't make you look like a terrible parent. People look more at a teenager throwing a tantrum, then the parents. We still have a hard time finding rewards & consequences for these types of behavior. One of the things that works for us when we need to go someplace, letting him know if he behaves, he will get such n such (food is his big motivator so usually Subway, or McDonalds). If he can't manage to behave during that time no reward. I don't always use a bribe however and will use an *or else*. The problem in our situation, and don't know if the same for you or not, not every punishment works as expected. With a situation like you described, I would try maybe a timeout in difficult child's bedroom. [I]A child can stay in their rooms all day, but as soon as you send them there, they want out.[/I] Give him time to calm down, and then when/if he does, then you can approach going to the game, or if took longer for the cool down, explain that you're sorry they couldn't make the game, and you know how much he loves to play, but he needs to calm down, and follow directions to be able to go next time. [/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma]Please take anything I say as my thoughts, and me only trying to help. If they offer any help, than I'm more than happy. I'm in the trenches here myself, and learning everyday what works & doesn't work here. Hang in there![/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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