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what should I have done??
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 434315" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>It's really easy for us to take a look at this replay and tell you what we would have done. It's a whole different ballgame when you're calling the shots. </p><p> </p><p>At this point I would have separated him to a different activity, without suggesting returning to the girls that he's just been screaming at. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>Right here I would have sent the neighbor girl home and sent daughter to her room, or both over to her house to play. Neither need to be a witness to this, and neither needs to be hit with something he's chucking. If he's out of control, it's important to remove them for their own safety. They were also the trigger to the rage, and it's pretty typical for a raging child to return to the source of the rage for another go round. </p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>It's a good idea to find a routine to help raging kids settle down, and fast food and a tball game are both highly stimulating, public situations. A routine like sitting in a bean bag chair watching a movie in his room, and eating a calming snack is one idea. If the child has sensory issues, sipping a drink from a straw can be calming. If another adult is home to watch siblings, loading him up in the car and driving around until he's calmed can help because it's removing him from the scene. </p><p> </p><p>I would have done one of these, and ONLY if he'd calmed himself down sufficiently would we have gone to tball. I wouldn't have taken him to a restaurant--might have carried in dinner if I was desperate. It's tossing him into one stressful situation after another instead of really giving him some downtime somewhere to calm down. If you can develop some kind of calm down routine for the raging that he likes, the hope there is that you can start to head it off at the pass, and eventually that he'll ask because he recognizes that he's starting to lose control.</p><p> </p><p>Have you read The Explosive Child yet, and the thread at the top of this board about adapting it to younger children? It talks about prioritizing, and for very difficult explosive kids, only being insistent on critical issues, like safety. I understand the team thing, but at this age I wouldn't put tball in that category. </p><p> </p><p>Just some ideas as you deconstruct the today and think through what you might have done differently. Most of us have made plenty of mistakes and tried lots of strategies until we found a combination that worked, or at least helped.</p><p> </p><p>Sorry it was such a hard day. Hang in there. Tomorrow's another day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 434315, member: 701"] It's really easy for us to take a look at this replay and tell you what we would have done. It's a whole different ballgame when you're calling the shots. At this point I would have separated him to a different activity, without suggesting returning to the girls that he's just been screaming at. Right here I would have sent the neighbor girl home and sent daughter to her room, or both over to her house to play. Neither need to be a witness to this, and neither needs to be hit with something he's chucking. If he's out of control, it's important to remove them for their own safety. They were also the trigger to the rage, and it's pretty typical for a raging child to return to the source of the rage for another go round. It's a good idea to find a routine to help raging kids settle down, and fast food and a tball game are both highly stimulating, public situations. A routine like sitting in a bean bag chair watching a movie in his room, and eating a calming snack is one idea. If the child has sensory issues, sipping a drink from a straw can be calming. If another adult is home to watch siblings, loading him up in the car and driving around until he's calmed can help because it's removing him from the scene. I would have done one of these, and ONLY if he'd calmed himself down sufficiently would we have gone to tball. I wouldn't have taken him to a restaurant--might have carried in dinner if I was desperate. It's tossing him into one stressful situation after another instead of really giving him some downtime somewhere to calm down. If you can develop some kind of calm down routine for the raging that he likes, the hope there is that you can start to head it off at the pass, and eventually that he'll ask because he recognizes that he's starting to lose control. Have you read The Explosive Child yet, and the thread at the top of this board about adapting it to younger children? It talks about prioritizing, and for very difficult explosive kids, only being insistent on critical issues, like safety. I understand the team thing, but at this age I wouldn't put tball in that category. Just some ideas as you deconstruct the today and think through what you might have done differently. Most of us have made plenty of mistakes and tried lots of strategies until we found a combination that worked, or at least helped. Sorry it was such a hard day. Hang in there. Tomorrow's another day. [/QUOTE]
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