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what should I have done??
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<blockquote data-quote="april1974" data-source="post: 434927" data-attributes="member: 12128"><p>Seriously- Thanks so much for writing that, The explosive child is one of the books I took out of the library today, it's 2nd on my list to read</p><p> </p><p>Amy-I have had my own temper tantrums in response to my ds, I am putting my brain to good use and educating myself on what I should do & shouldn't do...I'm trying to remember that the basic need my kids need is love even when they are "bad". It's so hard and I've had my own pity party going on in my head that I need to snap out of. My kids get zero pop, zero kool-aid(ok I lie I have koolaide jammers in the pantry BUT they only get them once in a blue moon) I don't want to reward good behaviour that is expected, acknowledge it YES and I do, and I don't want to punish my son anymore for bad behaviour he may or may not be able to control...I want to discipline and educate him...let him feel his emotions and what they mean..the why? and what can we do to manage them....anger is normal human behaviour...it's how we express it...your son didn't want the girls to play with him....the learning opportunity could be once he has calmed down to say in his own words "I want to be alone and don't want you girls to play basketball with me" the girls also need to respect his space...gosh does any of this make sense? sometimes it's hard to explain a thought on a computer. I think kids, like adults, want their feelings to be validated, they need to know it's ok to feel what they are feeling, but need to learn how to chanel it, how to use words to get his needs met.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="april1974, post: 434927, member: 12128"] Seriously- Thanks so much for writing that, The explosive child is one of the books I took out of the library today, it's 2nd on my list to read Amy-I have had my own temper tantrums in response to my ds, I am putting my brain to good use and educating myself on what I should do & shouldn't do...I'm trying to remember that the basic need my kids need is love even when they are "bad". It's so hard and I've had my own pity party going on in my head that I need to snap out of. My kids get zero pop, zero kool-aid(ok I lie I have koolaide jammers in the pantry BUT they only get them once in a blue moon) I don't want to reward good behaviour that is expected, acknowledge it YES and I do, and I don't want to punish my son anymore for bad behaviour he may or may not be able to control...I want to discipline and educate him...let him feel his emotions and what they mean..the why? and what can we do to manage them....anger is normal human behaviour...it's how we express it...your son didn't want the girls to play with him....the learning opportunity could be once he has calmed down to say in his own words "I want to be alone and don't want you girls to play basketball with me" the girls also need to respect his space...gosh does any of this make sense? sometimes it's hard to explain a thought on a computer. I think kids, like adults, want their feelings to be validated, they need to know it's ok to feel what they are feeling, but need to learn how to chanel it, how to use words to get his needs met. [/QUOTE]
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