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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 453533" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>Only you can decide that. Know that whatever you decide, I and everyone else here will NOT judge you but support you and try to help you through.</p><p></p><p>Has he ever been violent in your home? How many "chances" has he already had and blown? How many "chances" are you willing to go through? What kind of impact/influence does he have on your other child? These are things you must carefully consider and only then can you decide. </p><p></p><p>The reality is, that if he's not ready, no amount of "watching" him is going to help. HE has to be willing to do his own work. If you see that in him after rehab, then by all means bring him back home and give him all the support you are capable of. on the other hand, if he gets out of rehab and immediately starts making poor decisions, then there's not much that all the parental support in the world can do.</p><p></p><p>I have not experienced this with a child of my own, but did experience it with an adult friend. It did not make it any easier. She was sweet, and kind, and generally a good person. She didn't got to rehab but had gone to prison for 2 years for drug charges, and as I visited her, I watched her transform from the inside out. She WAS WORKING her recovery. Unfortunately, it only lasted for about 6-8 months after she got out. Very slowly, she started to backslide. It was so slow that since I was so busy I had barely noticed (maybe I didn't want to notice). Quite accidentally, I found out that not only was she using again, but she was stealing mother in law's medications and selling those to support her habit. When she came home that day, I didn't even let her in because the kids were home - my primary concern. We arranged for a time she could come get her stuff, and if she brought friends to help they were to stay on the street and not even set foot on the property. Whatever she didn't get in that amount of time - 1 hour - was gone forever. It was really hard and painful, because she was still nice and caring. My kids adored her. She cleaned my house for me. BUT none of that was worth me, or mother in law, or the kids especially, getting sucked into her addiction and everything that came along with it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 453533, member: 11965"] Only you can decide that. Know that whatever you decide, I and everyone else here will NOT judge you but support you and try to help you through. Has he ever been violent in your home? How many "chances" has he already had and blown? How many "chances" are you willing to go through? What kind of impact/influence does he have on your other child? These are things you must carefully consider and only then can you decide. The reality is, that if he's not ready, no amount of "watching" him is going to help. HE has to be willing to do his own work. If you see that in him after rehab, then by all means bring him back home and give him all the support you are capable of. on the other hand, if he gets out of rehab and immediately starts making poor decisions, then there's not much that all the parental support in the world can do. I have not experienced this with a child of my own, but did experience it with an adult friend. It did not make it any easier. She was sweet, and kind, and generally a good person. She didn't got to rehab but had gone to prison for 2 years for drug charges, and as I visited her, I watched her transform from the inside out. She WAS WORKING her recovery. Unfortunately, it only lasted for about 6-8 months after she got out. Very slowly, she started to backslide. It was so slow that since I was so busy I had barely noticed (maybe I didn't want to notice). Quite accidentally, I found out that not only was she using again, but she was stealing mother in law's medications and selling those to support her habit. When she came home that day, I didn't even let her in because the kids were home - my primary concern. We arranged for a time she could come get her stuff, and if she brought friends to help they were to stay on the street and not even set foot on the property. Whatever she didn't get in that amount of time - 1 hour - was gone forever. It was really hard and painful, because she was still nice and caring. My kids adored her. She cleaned my house for me. BUT none of that was worth me, or mother in law, or the kids especially, getting sucked into her addiction and everything that came along with it. [/QUOTE]
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