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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 196284" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>First of all, you are NOT in any way a bad mom. Parenting is the hardest job, and we ALL, every single parent, lose it occasionally. You ahve gone through a lot, worked hard to advocate for your child, and it really HURTS and HOOVERS to see them p$ssing it all away by not working.</p><p> </p><p>Find a way to get difficult child to have help at school wtih the homework/assignments. At the very least, step OUT of the school stuff and have your spouse deal with all of it for a while. Spouses are there to tag team with us and help in this situation.</p><p> </p><p>second, your easy child needs to step out of the parenting gig. HE is NOT your difficult child's parent, and needs to have a boundary FIRMLY established that he is NOT to say a WORD about you or your parenting to difficult child. PERIOD. it is none of his business and he has no business disrespecting you like that. Period. finito.</p><p> </p><p>For the headaches, I really think stress is at the root of them. Possibly a learning disability? or some other thing, or school is just really really hard. Try other medications to prevent them. difficult child is also probably having some rebound headaches from taking the medications too often. He MUST get through that, and it is veyr painful, because until he isn't having the excedrin and tylenol 3 so often he is going to be in a vicious cycle. The medications relieve the headaches, but then they cause another one. ANY headache doctor will tell you this.</p><p> </p><p>Have you considered taking ALL the test results you already have (you own those, have a RIGHT to have copies of them, including films from xrays and MRIS) and going to a headache clinic with your son? Then let the docs who specialize in headaches tell difficult child how to handle them. If they have copies of the tests they will be able to tell you if they need to be repeated or not. The clinic will be able to suggest things like chiro, physical therapy (helps strengthen the neck and back muscles to prevent some headaches), APPROPRIATE medications to treat chronic headaches (excedrin just simply is NOT appropriate, esp since if he has a cold the aspirin in it can KILL him by causing Reyes Syndrome. This is NOT a joke, I am NOT kidding OR exaggerating.Google Reyes Syndrome and read about it yourself.)</p><p> </p><p>I really think difficult child is having stress induced headaches. NOT brushing them off as "just in his head" or anything like that. Stress headaches (if that is the right call) is a GREAT diagnosis, because there are SO MANY things you can do and learn to prevent them. Biofeedback is awesome, massage, so many many things (including appropriate medication).</p><p> </p><p>Forgive yourself, be gentle with yourself, set a FIRM boundary with your easy child to BACK OFF, and then see if you can find a headache clinic.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 196284, member: 1233"] First of all, you are NOT in any way a bad mom. Parenting is the hardest job, and we ALL, every single parent, lose it occasionally. You ahve gone through a lot, worked hard to advocate for your child, and it really HURTS and HOOVERS to see them p$ssing it all away by not working. Find a way to get difficult child to have help at school wtih the homework/assignments. At the very least, step OUT of the school stuff and have your spouse deal with all of it for a while. Spouses are there to tag team with us and help in this situation. second, your easy child needs to step out of the parenting gig. HE is NOT your difficult child's parent, and needs to have a boundary FIRMLY established that he is NOT to say a WORD about you or your parenting to difficult child. PERIOD. it is none of his business and he has no business disrespecting you like that. Period. finito. For the headaches, I really think stress is at the root of them. Possibly a learning disability? or some other thing, or school is just really really hard. Try other medications to prevent them. difficult child is also probably having some rebound headaches from taking the medications too often. He MUST get through that, and it is veyr painful, because until he isn't having the excedrin and tylenol 3 so often he is going to be in a vicious cycle. The medications relieve the headaches, but then they cause another one. ANY headache doctor will tell you this. Have you considered taking ALL the test results you already have (you own those, have a RIGHT to have copies of them, including films from xrays and MRIS) and going to a headache clinic with your son? Then let the docs who specialize in headaches tell difficult child how to handle them. If they have copies of the tests they will be able to tell you if they need to be repeated or not. The clinic will be able to suggest things like chiro, physical therapy (helps strengthen the neck and back muscles to prevent some headaches), APPROPRIATE medications to treat chronic headaches (excedrin just simply is NOT appropriate, esp since if he has a cold the aspirin in it can KILL him by causing Reyes Syndrome. This is NOT a joke, I am NOT kidding OR exaggerating.Google Reyes Syndrome and read about it yourself.) I really think difficult child is having stress induced headaches. NOT brushing them off as "just in his head" or anything like that. Stress headaches (if that is the right call) is a GREAT diagnosis, because there are SO MANY things you can do and learn to prevent them. Biofeedback is awesome, massage, so many many things (including appropriate medication). Forgive yourself, be gentle with yourself, set a FIRM boundary with your easy child to BACK OFF, and then see if you can find a headache clinic. [/QUOTE]
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