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Substance Abuse
What to do (or not do) next
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<blockquote data-quote="Sister's Keeper" data-source="post: 688826" data-attributes="member: 20051"><p>I'm going to agree with SWOT, and I am going to sound harsher than she, but there is a whole lot of denial and excuses being made, on both sides.</p><p></p><p>Yes, he has made improvements, but sobriety isn't just the act of not using, and I think that what the counselor is saying is that he is just going through the motions, doing what he needs to do to get what he wants and not actually embracing sobriety. He is not doing the work it takes to maintain sobriety.</p><p></p><p>Addiction is a family disease. We all have our role in it. Your attitudes actually closely match your son's. In that the groups aren't for either of you, in the downplaying of the benzo addiction. An addict is an addict is an addict. One is no better nor no worse than the other nor no less serious than the other. More people died last year from prescription drug overdoses than all street drugs combined. It's a HUGE issue. In that he will be able to drink in the future. This isn't just a blip on life's radar, this is going to have to be a life long commitment. If I remember correctly, this is not his 1st stint in rehab. It is obviously a problem, and an ongoing one. </p><p></p><p>I am familiar in this area. The excuses. "They won't let me smoke." "The therapist doesn't like me." "I don't like this group." "I can't live there because of the curfew." "I don't like my roommate." "One of the girls in the group slept with my baby daddy." They are just all excuses for not dealing with the issues that are underlying the addiction. They are excuses for not putting in the hard work it takes to get sober. </p><p>SWOT is right. At this point there will be a "problem" with every therapist and every program. Listen to the therapist. Yes it is good that he has a job. That is a productive thing, but I think that you should believe her when she says that your son is not doing the work and just going through the motions. Don't align yourself with your son against the therapist. Your son is manipulating you by dividing and conquering. He has you seeing the therapist and negative as the bad guy so that you will enable his leaving the program. Like SWOT said, she is able to see things objectively, trust her instincts. She doesn't have a stake in the game. It is natural to want to protect and defend the ones we love, but we often can't see the forest for the trees.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sister's Keeper, post: 688826, member: 20051"] I'm going to agree with SWOT, and I am going to sound harsher than she, but there is a whole lot of denial and excuses being made, on both sides. Yes, he has made improvements, but sobriety isn't just the act of not using, and I think that what the counselor is saying is that he is just going through the motions, doing what he needs to do to get what he wants and not actually embracing sobriety. He is not doing the work it takes to maintain sobriety. Addiction is a family disease. We all have our role in it. Your attitudes actually closely match your son's. In that the groups aren't for either of you, in the downplaying of the benzo addiction. An addict is an addict is an addict. One is no better nor no worse than the other nor no less serious than the other. More people died last year from prescription drug overdoses than all street drugs combined. It's a HUGE issue. In that he will be able to drink in the future. This isn't just a blip on life's radar, this is going to have to be a life long commitment. If I remember correctly, this is not his 1st stint in rehab. It is obviously a problem, and an ongoing one. I am familiar in this area. The excuses. "They won't let me smoke." "The therapist doesn't like me." "I don't like this group." "I can't live there because of the curfew." "I don't like my roommate." "One of the girls in the group slept with my baby daddy." They are just all excuses for not dealing with the issues that are underlying the addiction. They are excuses for not putting in the hard work it takes to get sober. SWOT is right. At this point there will be a "problem" with every therapist and every program. Listen to the therapist. Yes it is good that he has a job. That is a productive thing, but I think that you should believe her when she says that your son is not doing the work and just going through the motions. Don't align yourself with your son against the therapist. Your son is manipulating you by dividing and conquering. He has you seeing the therapist and negative as the bad guy so that you will enable his leaving the program. Like SWOT said, she is able to see things objectively, trust her instincts. She doesn't have a stake in the game. It is natural to want to protect and defend the ones we love, but we often can't see the forest for the trees. [/QUOTE]
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