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Substance Abuse
What to do (or not do) next
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 688829" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Lovemyson: </p><p>Absolutely not done. Nowhere near done!! </p><p></p><p>We do not want him home and he does NOT want to come home. He likes being in Florida (duh who wouldn't). He wishes he had enough money to have his own place but he doesn't and he isn't near ready for that anyway so it's a mute point.</p><p></p><p>Sister's Keeper:</p><p>I am not at all aligning with my son against the therapist. I am only saying what I say on this forum. I told him he needs to find a way to work with her to better himself. He needs <strong>them </strong>to feel he's doing good/improving, not just him feeling it or us seeing an improvement. I am not making her the bad guy at all but I want her to stay positive and not give up on him. Perhaps try a new approach? </p><p></p><p>I post here. I talk to friends. I have been through a family program a few times. I do a lot of research. I am well educated on this subject however my heart gets in the way like a lot of us here. I don't want to immerse myself in his problem anymore than I have done the past five years. My husband and I are enjoying our freedom now with him away. I don't want to go to meetings if they make me depressed. I've done meetings. I don't see any benefit in that for ME. People that do should absolutely go if it makes them feel better.</p><p></p><p>I know he has a horrible addiction to mainly benzos or being in an altered state. If he did not, he would be at home going to college and working a part time job like we planned.</p><p></p><p>My son is 1500 miles away from home and we sent him there to work on all of this. To work on himself and the person he wants to be. Make the kind of life he wants to live. He has to figure this out. He has support from us as long as he's staying the course. The choice is his to make and not ours. We are not letting him come home and he knows that. He doesn't even ask. We know that he is a good person but he is struggling.</p><p></p><p>He says he used because he was depressed living here because we moved away from where he grew up (20 miles so not that major). He started getting off course and we took that opportunity to move closer to my job. His downward spiral continued. I told him not to use the move as an excuse. I don't buy it. When he complains about where he is we shut him down and tell him to finish the program. If they discharge him he has to go to another sober living house. Just taking one day at a time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 688829, member: 15032"] Lovemyson: Absolutely not done. Nowhere near done!! We do not want him home and he does NOT want to come home. He likes being in Florida (duh who wouldn't). He wishes he had enough money to have his own place but he doesn't and he isn't near ready for that anyway so it's a mute point. Sister's Keeper: I am not at all aligning with my son against the therapist. I am only saying what I say on this forum. I told him he needs to find a way to work with her to better himself. He needs [B]them [/B]to feel he's doing good/improving, not just him feeling it or us seeing an improvement. I am not making her the bad guy at all but I want her to stay positive and not give up on him. Perhaps try a new approach? I post here. I talk to friends. I have been through a family program a few times. I do a lot of research. I am well educated on this subject however my heart gets in the way like a lot of us here. I don't want to immerse myself in his problem anymore than I have done the past five years. My husband and I are enjoying our freedom now with him away. I don't want to go to meetings if they make me depressed. I've done meetings. I don't see any benefit in that for ME. People that do should absolutely go if it makes them feel better. I know he has a horrible addiction to mainly benzos or being in an altered state. If he did not, he would be at home going to college and working a part time job like we planned. My son is 1500 miles away from home and we sent him there to work on all of this. To work on himself and the person he wants to be. Make the kind of life he wants to live. He has to figure this out. He has support from us as long as he's staying the course. The choice is his to make and not ours. We are not letting him come home and he knows that. He doesn't even ask. We know that he is a good person but he is struggling. He says he used because he was depressed living here because we moved away from where he grew up (20 miles so not that major). He started getting off course and we took that opportunity to move closer to my job. His downward spiral continued. I told him not to use the move as an excuse. I don't buy it. When he complains about where he is we shut him down and tell him to finish the program. If they discharge him he has to go to another sober living house. Just taking one day at a time. [/QUOTE]
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