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General Parenting
What to do when parents don't believe diagnosis!!!?
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 521925" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>Let me preface that I am in a very negative cranky place so my response may sound rude and cold hearted, but I decided to post anyway because sometimes such a perspective is useful. If not, please ignore me.</p><p></p><p>Why do you consider yourself a "model child"? in my opinion the child isn't the one that's supposed to do the supporting of the parents - that's the parent's job for the children. When children grow up to be awesome ppl, they most certainly reciprocate this support to their parents, but daily phone calls? Really? Is this your need or your mom's need/demand? Either way, it's too much. WAY too much. </p><p></p><p>This is <strong>your</strong> child, not your mom's second chance. What difference does it make if your mom believes the diagnosis or not? Is she babysitting on a regular basis? No? then what's the problem? If difficult child's diagnosis were diabetes or leukemia and she didn't believe it, would that affect what <strong>YOU</strong> did with difficult child? Ah NO. Why are her thoughts on the matter so important?</p><p></p><p>You need to detach from the need/desire to be right in her eyes. You need to realize that you are raising your own family and NO ONE else's opinion on the matter matters. You need to be strong enough to tell her this too. She has more than spoken her opinion. You don't need to hear it anymore, so she can now keep quiet on the topic.</p><p></p><p>It's not easy for children to transition into adulthood, especially when their parents or other family members don't let them (my big problem is my aunts) BUT that does not mean that you are not entitled to that transition. You are an adult with a family of your own. As such you deserve to be treated like an adult, and if the ppl in your life can't manage that, then you have to demand it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 521925, member: 11965"] Let me preface that I am in a very negative cranky place so my response may sound rude and cold hearted, but I decided to post anyway because sometimes such a perspective is useful. If not, please ignore me. Why do you consider yourself a "model child"? in my opinion the child isn't the one that's supposed to do the supporting of the parents - that's the parent's job for the children. When children grow up to be awesome ppl, they most certainly reciprocate this support to their parents, but daily phone calls? Really? Is this your need or your mom's need/demand? Either way, it's too much. WAY too much. This is [B]your[/B] child, not your mom's second chance. What difference does it make if your mom believes the diagnosis or not? Is she babysitting on a regular basis? No? then what's the problem? If difficult child's diagnosis were diabetes or leukemia and she didn't believe it, would that affect what [B]YOU[/B] did with difficult child? Ah NO. Why are her thoughts on the matter so important? You need to detach from the need/desire to be right in her eyes. You need to realize that you are raising your own family and NO ONE else's opinion on the matter matters. You need to be strong enough to tell her this too. She has more than spoken her opinion. You don't need to hear it anymore, so she can now keep quiet on the topic. It's not easy for children to transition into adulthood, especially when their parents or other family members don't let them (my big problem is my aunts) BUT that does not mean that you are not entitled to that transition. You are an adult with a family of your own. As such you deserve to be treated like an adult, and if the ppl in your life can't manage that, then you have to demand it. [/QUOTE]
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