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General Parenting
What to do when parents don't believe diagnosis!!!?
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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 521949"><p>Lovelyboy, I am going to share my personal experience. I have always been the dutiful child. Like you, my mother and I talked on the phone pretty much every day (she lives in the same town). We were almost friends. BUT, my mother had this very nasty habit of telling me her every opinion, especially about how I was raising MY children. I spoiled one and was hard on the other. difficult child 1 was the way he was because I never disciplined him (my children had told her otherwise but she never SAW it so it didn't happen). There were many times she'd try to discipline HER way with me sitting right there. When I told her about his diagnosis, she wanted proof fromt he psychiatrist. Heck, she insisted she was going to the psychiatrist WITH us. She didn't believe me and continued to tell me that even disabled kids get disciplined and that's all difficult child 1 needed. I finally told her that I will not discuss difficult child 1 with her and that her opinions are not wanted. She pushed her opinion again and I cut off ALL contact with her. She needed to learn the hard way that this boundary was not negotiable. A couple months later difficult child 1 ended up in the psychiatric hospital and my mother had NO clue because I wasn't talking to her. She had to hear it from my sister. THAT'S when she realized SHE needed to change. Now, she bites her tongue when we talk or are together. We don't talk as much but when we are together, she is kind to my children. For my sons' sakes, I had to put that boundary in place. YOUR job is to protect your children, even if it means from their grandparents. YOU need to put YOUR children first. When difficult child 1 asked, "Are we ever going to be good enough for Grandma?" is when I decided her negativity was starting to affect him and I didn't want that for him. He deserved better. Now, he has better!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 521949"] Lovelyboy, I am going to share my personal experience. I have always been the dutiful child. Like you, my mother and I talked on the phone pretty much every day (she lives in the same town). We were almost friends. BUT, my mother had this very nasty habit of telling me her every opinion, especially about how I was raising MY children. I spoiled one and was hard on the other. difficult child 1 was the way he was because I never disciplined him (my children had told her otherwise but she never SAW it so it didn't happen). There were many times she'd try to discipline HER way with me sitting right there. When I told her about his diagnosis, she wanted proof fromt he psychiatrist. Heck, she insisted she was going to the psychiatrist WITH us. She didn't believe me and continued to tell me that even disabled kids get disciplined and that's all difficult child 1 needed. I finally told her that I will not discuss difficult child 1 with her and that her opinions are not wanted. She pushed her opinion again and I cut off ALL contact with her. She needed to learn the hard way that this boundary was not negotiable. A couple months later difficult child 1 ended up in the psychiatric hospital and my mother had NO clue because I wasn't talking to her. She had to hear it from my sister. THAT'S when she realized SHE needed to change. Now, she bites her tongue when we talk or are together. We don't talk as much but when we are together, she is kind to my children. For my sons' sakes, I had to put that boundary in place. YOUR job is to protect your children, even if it means from their grandparents. YOU need to put YOUR children first. When difficult child 1 asked, "Are we ever going to be good enough for Grandma?" is when I decided her negativity was starting to affect him and I didn't want that for him. He deserved better. Now, he has better! [/QUOTE]
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What to do when parents don't believe diagnosis!!!?
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