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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 273864" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi Mrs. McNear - </p><p> </p><p>I was so hoping that I would finally get to see a picture of Lincoln and WOW there he is - all grown up (okay since I heard about him anyway) and you with him?? Lovely picture = you can tell you love your g'son. </p><p> </p><p>Well about Sweet Betsy. My first thought is terminal brat syndrome. She's behaving very much and reverting completely back to what worked in her mind when she didn't get her way. At best it's regression at it's finest. Don't be too upset or surprised if she stomps her feet and acts like an ill behaved two year old. Her brain is on overload and she just can't figure out how to put the pieces together - so she reverts back to her self-taught coping skill of all or nothing tantrum. </p><p> </p><p>As far as her self - destructive behavior? Yeah - she's been working hard, while Scott has been goofing off. She's been working while Scott has been goofing off. She's been changing diapers, up all night, being an adult while Scott got the state to take care of him. In her own right and in her own mind - she's quite a catch. She works, she mothers, she diapers, cooks, plays - she's exhausted and wants to be a teenager again with NO responsibilities - SCott did it - why can't she? </p><p> </p><p>Very immature thinking from someone who has seemed to hold it together so long, but really - you just had to scratch the surface and find an excuse for her to go run buck wild. I don't think it's permanent and what I do think you and SB have in your corner is the fact that she's been doing this parenting routine and responsible person routine for what two years now? She's been a teenager for nine - and she probably resents Lincoln in her own way because he's the reason she can't just be irresponsible like the rest of the world. Sadly you're right. Nothing you say or do at this point are going to change her behaviors - but I would venture a guess that it's more - TIRED MOMMY syndrome and rejection that are driving her behaviors and not "I don't love Lincoln." her all or nothing statements are MEANT to be a poignant reminder to anyone around thinking about FORCING her to cowtow to adulthood again - they'd better think twice. </p><p> </p><p>She may as well have stood up on your kitchen table with a meat tenderizer and yelled "IF you make me take back Lincoln right now I'll hit myself." it's a desperate cry from a worn out teenager that has regrets of becoming a mother too soon and seeing that the man she had a child with has no interest in her - but oddly he will live with her? (HE is a peach) any port in a storm. UGH - </p><p> </p><p>I think the disappointment of Scott getting out of prison and having NO responsibilities for Lincoln all this time coupled with the fact that while she's been busting her behind? Then for him to get out I'm SURE in the back of her mind she figured they would be together and well, this guy is a realist - yup he had a kid, yup he didn't raise it, yup he didn't support it, yup Betsy did it all and NOW? NOW he doesn't want her? WOW. </p><p> </p><p>IT explains a lot about her - but mostly that she is after all just a kid who had a kid and now with Pimp Daddy in the picture she figured it would be all right.....and he'd run into her arms and they would be a loving family. THAT is not going to happen - but she'll figure that out on her own - AND I would suspect that if you can get with the Grandma in FL - and between the two of you figure out what Lincoln's future is? By the time you get the details ironed out, and TELL (the two of you gmas) SW exactly HOW YOU TWO are going to take care of HER child? YEah.......I see her coming back to wanting to be in control of something. </p><p> </p><p>My best bet is that if she felt someone else besides her was going to take TOTAL control over the son that she has invested her TOTAL last 2 years in? YEah - look for her to start thinking straight again. For now? I'd let her go, run, do - be an idiot.....and miss.....very much. HER son. </p><p> </p><p>I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts. </p><p>Many hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 273864, member: 4964"] Hi Mrs. McNear - I was so hoping that I would finally get to see a picture of Lincoln and WOW there he is - all grown up (okay since I heard about him anyway) and you with him?? Lovely picture = you can tell you love your g'son. Well about Sweet Betsy. My first thought is terminal brat syndrome. She's behaving very much and reverting completely back to what worked in her mind when she didn't get her way. At best it's regression at it's finest. Don't be too upset or surprised if she stomps her feet and acts like an ill behaved two year old. Her brain is on overload and she just can't figure out how to put the pieces together - so she reverts back to her self-taught coping skill of all or nothing tantrum. As far as her self - destructive behavior? Yeah - she's been working hard, while Scott has been goofing off. She's been working while Scott has been goofing off. She's been changing diapers, up all night, being an adult while Scott got the state to take care of him. In her own right and in her own mind - she's quite a catch. She works, she mothers, she diapers, cooks, plays - she's exhausted and wants to be a teenager again with NO responsibilities - SCott did it - why can't she? Very immature thinking from someone who has seemed to hold it together so long, but really - you just had to scratch the surface and find an excuse for her to go run buck wild. I don't think it's permanent and what I do think you and SB have in your corner is the fact that she's been doing this parenting routine and responsible person routine for what two years now? She's been a teenager for nine - and she probably resents Lincoln in her own way because he's the reason she can't just be irresponsible like the rest of the world. Sadly you're right. Nothing you say or do at this point are going to change her behaviors - but I would venture a guess that it's more - TIRED MOMMY syndrome and rejection that are driving her behaviors and not "I don't love Lincoln." her all or nothing statements are MEANT to be a poignant reminder to anyone around thinking about FORCING her to cowtow to adulthood again - they'd better think twice. She may as well have stood up on your kitchen table with a meat tenderizer and yelled "IF you make me take back Lincoln right now I'll hit myself." it's a desperate cry from a worn out teenager that has regrets of becoming a mother too soon and seeing that the man she had a child with has no interest in her - but oddly he will live with her? (HE is a peach) any port in a storm. UGH - I think the disappointment of Scott getting out of prison and having NO responsibilities for Lincoln all this time coupled with the fact that while she's been busting her behind? Then for him to get out I'm SURE in the back of her mind she figured they would be together and well, this guy is a realist - yup he had a kid, yup he didn't raise it, yup he didn't support it, yup Betsy did it all and NOW? NOW he doesn't want her? WOW. IT explains a lot about her - but mostly that she is after all just a kid who had a kid and now with Pimp Daddy in the picture she figured it would be all right.....and he'd run into her arms and they would be a loving family. THAT is not going to happen - but she'll figure that out on her own - AND I would suspect that if you can get with the Grandma in FL - and between the two of you figure out what Lincoln's future is? By the time you get the details ironed out, and TELL (the two of you gmas) SW exactly HOW YOU TWO are going to take care of HER child? YEah.......I see her coming back to wanting to be in control of something. My best bet is that if she felt someone else besides her was going to take TOTAL control over the son that she has invested her TOTAL last 2 years in? YEah - look for her to start thinking straight again. For now? I'd let her go, run, do - be an idiot.....and miss.....very much. HER son. I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts. Many hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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