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What to say and what NOT to say about death
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 246766" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Star,</p><p></p><p>You are so sweet and thoughtful to be asking advice for what to say to Stephen's mom. I don't have any firsthand experience so I am sure what the other's say is probably on target.</p><p></p><p>What I do know about loss is that sometimes you can have people get really aggravated with you after a month or so of your grieving. Being there for Stephen's Mom esp at times like his birthday and Christmas this coming year will mean the world. As much as you can, stay in touch. Let her talk about Stephen, the memories, her grief, her anger, her despair, whatever she is feeling. Talk with her about your grief, anger despair and memories. Let her know there is no date that she has to be "done" grieving by (not tomorrow, but later). I can guarantee others will get irritated with her after about 1-2 months. Be the friend who is there WITH her throughout the year at special times.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes just a hug and letting her know you hurt too will be enough. </p><p></p><p>I am so terribly sorry. This bites. No one should lose a child, period. And then to be slapped with all the terribly inflated costs for the funeral flowers, I am sorry. I wish I could send you some $$ to help with the flowers. </p><p></p><p>I am here anytime you need to talk about Stephen or anything.</p><p></p><p>Love you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 246766, member: 1233"] Star, You are so sweet and thoughtful to be asking advice for what to say to Stephen's mom. I don't have any firsthand experience so I am sure what the other's say is probably on target. What I do know about loss is that sometimes you can have people get really aggravated with you after a month or so of your grieving. Being there for Stephen's Mom esp at times like his birthday and Christmas this coming year will mean the world. As much as you can, stay in touch. Let her talk about Stephen, the memories, her grief, her anger, her despair, whatever she is feeling. Talk with her about your grief, anger despair and memories. Let her know there is no date that she has to be "done" grieving by (not tomorrow, but later). I can guarantee others will get irritated with her after about 1-2 months. Be the friend who is there WITH her throughout the year at special times. Sometimes just a hug and letting her know you hurt too will be enough. I am so terribly sorry. This bites. No one should lose a child, period. And then to be slapped with all the terribly inflated costs for the funeral flowers, I am sorry. I wish I could send you some $$ to help with the flowers. I am here anytime you need to talk about Stephen or anything. Love you. [/QUOTE]
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What to say and what NOT to say about death
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