KFld
New Member
First let me say that if you guys get tired of hearing about this saga in my life, please let me know. I don't want to be one of those that you see my post and say, oh my god not again!!!
H and I have been cordial to each other most of the week. He called me after counseling on Tuesday and said he picked up a coffee table and stuff for his apartment and he knew I was on my way to where he just came from and said he hoped I didn't get stuck in the traffic he was in. We had a friendly conversation.
Yesterday I get home from work and he's unloading wood in the driveway and asks me what I would think about meeting him for something to eat. I thought about it for a minute and thought, what could it hurt. So I met him at this little diner type restaraunt. Figured it was a safe environment.
He asked me if I was sleeping better and how my counseling was the other day and I said, good, it always is. I think asked him if he had gotten a ticket to the pigroast at the club we belong too and he said, no why do you want to go together?? Right then I realized this wasn't really a friendly dinner, he was hoping it to be more of a date. I guess I should have known. I don't really know what I was expecting from it. I told him no, that I already had a ticket, but just wanted him to know if he was going to be there I was o.k. with it as long as he wasn't bringing someone else with him. He said he would never do that and asked why nobody called to ask him if he wanted a ticket??? I said it was my responsibility to ask him that, we are seperated. Then he made a comment about how he's going to put his wedding ring back on, that he actually took off months ago because of some callus he said he had on his finger (yeah right) and he was going to leave it on until we decide what we are going to do. I told him that was his personal option, but that I had actually taken mine off the day he moved out. He got very quiet and teary eyed. By then I knew this was really not a good idea. We finished eating, talked about a few other things. He said he hoped no matter what, that in the end we could always be good friends and said here's to the start of our friendship.
I stopped at this apartment to pick the dog up because it's two doors down from where we ate and I told him that I didn't think it was a good idea to be doing what we just did. I told him that the affair happened for a reason, not that it was justified in any way, but that we both have things to learn and face about ourselves that have added to why this happened and that it wasn't going to be a quick or easy process for either one of us. He admitted that he knows he has a lot of issues to work on and he will continue to go to counseling.
Then I get a call this morning from my sister in law. This is his oldest brothers wife and one of my closest friends. I guess he called her last night and told her he needed to get something off his mind and wanted to know why he is being excluded from everything. He was saying stuff like blood being thicker then water and why is nobody calling him to do anything???? My sister in law is really upset about this, because first of all she never called him to do anything before, it was always me she called to do things as a couple and this is something he should be calling his brothers and asking, not their wives.
He hasn't called them or made any effort to do anything with anyone, but now once again, it is someone elses responsibility to call him, make it a point to spend time with him, and do what they need to to make him happy!!!! I am fuming that he did this to her. He's the one who found a new group of "friends" and stopped coming around. He's the one who caused this and once again is looking for someone else to fix it.
Needless to say, I am not going to the pigroast this Saturday. I want nothing to do with it. I am going with a close friend of mine to pick up another friend of ours from the airport in New York and we are going shopping in New York for the day.
I am looking forward to it. :smile:
H and I have been cordial to each other most of the week. He called me after counseling on Tuesday and said he picked up a coffee table and stuff for his apartment and he knew I was on my way to where he just came from and said he hoped I didn't get stuck in the traffic he was in. We had a friendly conversation.
Yesterday I get home from work and he's unloading wood in the driveway and asks me what I would think about meeting him for something to eat. I thought about it for a minute and thought, what could it hurt. So I met him at this little diner type restaraunt. Figured it was a safe environment.
He asked me if I was sleeping better and how my counseling was the other day and I said, good, it always is. I think asked him if he had gotten a ticket to the pigroast at the club we belong too and he said, no why do you want to go together?? Right then I realized this wasn't really a friendly dinner, he was hoping it to be more of a date. I guess I should have known. I don't really know what I was expecting from it. I told him no, that I already had a ticket, but just wanted him to know if he was going to be there I was o.k. with it as long as he wasn't bringing someone else with him. He said he would never do that and asked why nobody called to ask him if he wanted a ticket??? I said it was my responsibility to ask him that, we are seperated. Then he made a comment about how he's going to put his wedding ring back on, that he actually took off months ago because of some callus he said he had on his finger (yeah right) and he was going to leave it on until we decide what we are going to do. I told him that was his personal option, but that I had actually taken mine off the day he moved out. He got very quiet and teary eyed. By then I knew this was really not a good idea. We finished eating, talked about a few other things. He said he hoped no matter what, that in the end we could always be good friends and said here's to the start of our friendship.
I stopped at this apartment to pick the dog up because it's two doors down from where we ate and I told him that I didn't think it was a good idea to be doing what we just did. I told him that the affair happened for a reason, not that it was justified in any way, but that we both have things to learn and face about ourselves that have added to why this happened and that it wasn't going to be a quick or easy process for either one of us. He admitted that he knows he has a lot of issues to work on and he will continue to go to counseling.
Then I get a call this morning from my sister in law. This is his oldest brothers wife and one of my closest friends. I guess he called her last night and told her he needed to get something off his mind and wanted to know why he is being excluded from everything. He was saying stuff like blood being thicker then water and why is nobody calling him to do anything???? My sister in law is really upset about this, because first of all she never called him to do anything before, it was always me she called to do things as a couple and this is something he should be calling his brothers and asking, not their wives.
He hasn't called them or made any effort to do anything with anyone, but now once again, it is someone elses responsibility to call him, make it a point to spend time with him, and do what they need to to make him happy!!!! I am fuming that he did this to her. He's the one who found a new group of "friends" and stopped coming around. He's the one who caused this and once again is looking for someone else to fix it.
Needless to say, I am not going to the pigroast this Saturday. I want nothing to do with it. I am going with a close friend of mine to pick up another friend of ours from the airport in New York and we are going shopping in New York for the day.
I am looking forward to it. :smile:
