....What will it take?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by MrsMcNear46, May 15, 2007.

  1. MrsMcNear46

    MrsMcNear46 New Member

    Hi all-

    I'll try to keep this short and to the point...

    When if ever and what will help an 18 yr. old to stop throwing 2 yr old tantrums when she doesn't get exactly what she wants- when she wants it?

    Will therapy help if she does what is advised? Or will it take losing one relationship after another from bullying people into doing what she wants? Is there any hope?

    She takes accountablilty for it, says that as long as she gets what she wants, there isn't an issue. HUH?????????

    I'm afraid for her future. She has already burnt the 'meltdown' bridge with me and I see if coming with her boyfriend. She has agreed to counseling, I'm just wondering if it will help her.

    Thanks for listening....and blessings to all.

    Mrs. McNear
     
  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MrsMcNear46</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Hi all-

    She takes accountablilty for it, says that as long as she gets what she wants, there isn't an issue. HUH?????????

    Mrs. McNear </div></div>

    :rofl: What a typical difficult child. As long as she gets what she wants, there won't be any problems!!

    I'm not quite sure what will have to happen before she stops doing that. Maybe it will just come with maturity, or maybe she will have to learn from people walking away from her when they can't take it any longer. I guess counseling could help her learn how to control her anger and focus in a more productive way when she doesn't get her own way. Is she in any kind of counselin right now?? If she recognizes it as a problem, then maybe she'd be willing to talk to someone about it.
     
  3. MrsMcNear46

    MrsMcNear46 New Member

    I was rolling as hard as your icon Karen when she said that to me. I explained, That's not accountability Sweet Betsy". That's just boasting that you are bullying your boyfriend to submit to you. Accountability is when you Admit this IS an issue and take responsibility for changing it.

    She has grown in many many ways, but this one difficult child thing is still there in full force.

    Thanks,

    Julie
     
  4. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    ahhh how well we know them. how long it takes for them to "get it"

    hope her pregnancy is progressing nicely and that she doesnt get a mini difficult child of her own.
     
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">When if ever and what will help an 18 yr. old to stop throwing 2 yr old tantrums when she doesn't get exactly what she wants- when she wants it? </div></div>

    This was a particularily difficult lesson for N to learn. Made far worse because until she hit her teen years easy child and T spoiled the girl rotten.

    By her teen years I'd finally gotten easy child and T convinced they were doing her no favors. (took long enough, huh?)

    This behavior seemed to disappear with the birth of the baby. I'm not sure why. Maybe because she got so used to having to put the baby above all else that she learned she wasn't the center of the Universe, who knows? I'm just relieved it is gone.

    Hopefully with motherhood her views will begin to change. I hope the pregnancy is going well.

    Hugs
     
  6. MrsMcNear46

    MrsMcNear46 New Member

    The pregnancy has been really really hard. She suffered with MAJOR morning sickness until 20 weeks...had to be hospitalized 4 times in 6 weeks for dehydration. The poor kid puked her guts up non stop for weeks. It seems to have resolved itself and she is feeling well again. She was home with me for 10 weeks during all of it, as we both felt it best that she let me help take care of her. She didn't pull the bullying crap with me, as she knew that it would no longer work. We actually got along wonderfully, better than in years, and I am extremely proud of how she handled herself at such a tough time.

    Maybe motherhood will "resolve" this issue also. I can only pray, cua I know difficult child boyfriend will only put up with this for so long...can't say as I blame him. I have talked to him as to how to handle her when these situation arise, offering her alternatives and to stay calm and not let her drag him in. Don't think he's had much success yet though.

    :smile:
     
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