mog
Member
I have a problem that I am not sure how to handle and was hoping that maybe some of you would give me some advise. FYI my difficult child is doing good but my problem is with our oldest son who has become such a disappointment to me it literally makes me sick.I don't remember if you remember but he ran away when he was about to be a senior in high school --back (home) to where his biological mother is only to find out as his sister before him that she had no desire to be a parent in the first place. He lived with the bio grandmother until he burned that bridge then with other bio grandmother (husbands mom) until he burnt that bridge. got a girlfriend --lived with them for a while until they got their own place then he started cheating on her and blah blah blah he burnt down the town and had nowhere to go but back here with me. All this happened before my mom pasted away ( as many of you know -I fell apart then-haven't really recovered but that is another post)
He started dating this girl --fell in love-moved in with her parents--got engaged- and had a baby-- he got them kicked out and they are all back here at my house. He had been playing games with her when they were living with her parents but when they moved in I told him that was not going to fly here in my house. he did anyway and I didn't back down--kicked him out but had his family stay. and I lectured him up and down the wall when i let him back in. still did it--tried to enforce harder rules but didn't work. I told him he is not taking care of this family but he has not been living by my rules in my house even after being set down like a little kid to reevaluate the house rules. Then they tell me they are pregnant again. I was mad!! he wanted to know how i felt about it and i told him that i would love this baby as much as any other of my grand babies but I was not happy with the way that HE is acting and it Needed to stop.He got it together for a couple of months but then didn't come home again--last time he was gone it was 3 days--he has been trying to bully me to let him back in by having her tell me that he wants to talk things out but he will only do that IF he can come home.-I said they should go somewhere in public to talk but he wont wants to be here---NO No I am sticking to my guns.
Today after 12 days of being gone and I have not heard a peep from him --now wants to know what he has to do to come home.So many other details but that is the mess of it. I told him last time that it was his FINAL chance and everything in me is saying stick to your guns and MAKE him grow up and be a man to take care of his own family but then there is of course the "mom" wanting to take care of everything.
More so worried that IF i don't let him back in the husband will forever hold a grudge against difficult child who has nothing to do with the situation but I know in my heart that husband will punish him for it instead of his own son who really deserves it.
What would you do in my shoes, my greatest adviser (mom) is gone and I so need her now but am reaching out to those of you with more knowledge than I. HELP
He started dating this girl --fell in love-moved in with her parents--got engaged- and had a baby-- he got them kicked out and they are all back here at my house. He had been playing games with her when they were living with her parents but when they moved in I told him that was not going to fly here in my house. he did anyway and I didn't back down--kicked him out but had his family stay. and I lectured him up and down the wall when i let him back in. still did it--tried to enforce harder rules but didn't work. I told him he is not taking care of this family but he has not been living by my rules in my house even after being set down like a little kid to reevaluate the house rules. Then they tell me they are pregnant again. I was mad!! he wanted to know how i felt about it and i told him that i would love this baby as much as any other of my grand babies but I was not happy with the way that HE is acting and it Needed to stop.He got it together for a couple of months but then didn't come home again--last time he was gone it was 3 days--he has been trying to bully me to let him back in by having her tell me that he wants to talk things out but he will only do that IF he can come home.-I said they should go somewhere in public to talk but he wont wants to be here---NO No I am sticking to my guns.
Today after 12 days of being gone and I have not heard a peep from him --now wants to know what he has to do to come home.So many other details but that is the mess of it. I told him last time that it was his FINAL chance and everything in me is saying stick to your guns and MAKE him grow up and be a man to take care of his own family but then there is of course the "mom" wanting to take care of everything.
More so worried that IF i don't let him back in the husband will forever hold a grudge against difficult child who has nothing to do with the situation but I know in my heart that husband will punish him for it instead of his own son who really deserves it.
What would you do in my shoes, my greatest adviser (mom) is gone and I so need her now but am reaching out to those of you with more knowledge than I. HELP