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What would you do????
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<blockquote data-quote="Rannveig" data-source="post: 336219" data-attributes="member: 5689"><p>I would just note that cigarette smoking is extremely common among the mentally ill and recovered/recovering addicts. That's because nicotine is a drug with certain desirable effects. I think smoking is a form of self-medicating. Personally I'm a non-smoker very concerned about the health implications of smoking, BUT I think with kt I'd be inclined to cut some slack. She has so much pain, and maybe the nicotine makes the pain a little less or a little more bearable. The physical health risks might be a price worth paying.</p><p></p><p>That said, I don't like the manipulation inherent in her frightening you by saying that if you don't pay for the cigarettes, she'll risk her health and safety in a very immediate way in order to be able to pay for them herself. If this is what she gets up to when she's out for a walk, then she shouldn't be allowed out for walks without someone to accompany her. I know that's easier said than enforced/arranged, but she doesn't sound ready for this freedom. And I don't like the idea of the emotional pain she is thus causing you. It's almost abusive. </p><p></p><p>Can you talk about these issues with her directly? Like why she smokes, why she feels she needs to smoke, how it makes her feel? And how does it make her feel when she performs favors for cigarettes? Can she do chores around the house to earn an allowance to pay for cigarettes? How does she think it makes you feel, or how does she want you to feel, when she tells you what she will do if you don't finance her habit? Etc., etc.</p><p></p><p>I normally just lurk, so forgive me for speaking up out of nowhere. Please accept hugs from this stranger, wishing you and kt very well.</p><p></p><p>-Ranny</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rannveig, post: 336219, member: 5689"] I would just note that cigarette smoking is extremely common among the mentally ill and recovered/recovering addicts. That's because nicotine is a drug with certain desirable effects. I think smoking is a form of self-medicating. Personally I'm a non-smoker very concerned about the health implications of smoking, BUT I think with kt I'd be inclined to cut some slack. She has so much pain, and maybe the nicotine makes the pain a little less or a little more bearable. The physical health risks might be a price worth paying. That said, I don't like the manipulation inherent in her frightening you by saying that if you don't pay for the cigarettes, she'll risk her health and safety in a very immediate way in order to be able to pay for them herself. If this is what she gets up to when she's out for a walk, then she shouldn't be allowed out for walks without someone to accompany her. I know that's easier said than enforced/arranged, but she doesn't sound ready for this freedom. And I don't like the idea of the emotional pain she is thus causing you. It's almost abusive. Can you talk about these issues with her directly? Like why she smokes, why she feels she needs to smoke, how it makes her feel? And how does it make her feel when she performs favors for cigarettes? Can she do chores around the house to earn an allowance to pay for cigarettes? How does she think it makes you feel, or how does she want you to feel, when she tells you what she will do if you don't finance her habit? Etc., etc. I normally just lurk, so forgive me for speaking up out of nowhere. Please accept hugs from this stranger, wishing you and kt very well. -Ranny [/QUOTE]
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