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What would you do????
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 336942" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>With my kids, I would not provide the cigars but then my kids have a different background. They have not lived through Kt's first few years of life before she came to you. They are not fighting the battle of overcoming what those years did to her.</p><p> </p><p>I think for Kt, I would go ahead and provide the cigars with some boundaries (if possible). Her background has proven that she will and certainly could have (though we pray she didn't) do _________ for cigars.</p><p> </p><p>It may be easier for you to provide the cigars if you first have a plan of action. Set limits - how many per day or week - where/when in at home can she smoke, ect.</p><p> </p><p>Do you or did your husband smoke? It is harder to push the "thou shall not smoke" card if a parent has smoked. If either of you have, what are the limits you put on yourself? Did you have certain places around the house that were off limits to smoking? Did you have a "schedule" of smoking? (some people smoke all day long, others at certain times). Did you only smoke when stressed or visiting with others who did? These are things you can share with Kt to plant the seeds that there are reasons behind smoking - some are habits that people want to break but can not, and some are more controlled such as only with other smokers.</p><p> </p><p>So, I guess I vote "Yes, provide them" but add TRY to set some limits on them. It will be healthier for her and you will feel better about not giving her total freedom in this area.</p><p> </p><p>I also like others agree with whatever your decision is. You have always known what to look for in your kids and how to help them through things. You are well aware of the two ways a decision can go (the right way or the wrong way - where will this decision lead in the long run?). That is why some decisions like this is difficult - you KNOW how Kt can use it against you but you need to balance her well being into the picture.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 336942, member: 5096"] With my kids, I would not provide the cigars but then my kids have a different background. They have not lived through Kt's first few years of life before she came to you. They are not fighting the battle of overcoming what those years did to her. I think for Kt, I would go ahead and provide the cigars with some boundaries (if possible). Her background has proven that she will and certainly could have (though we pray she didn't) do _________ for cigars. It may be easier for you to provide the cigars if you first have a plan of action. Set limits - how many per day or week - where/when in at home can she smoke, ect. Do you or did your husband smoke? It is harder to push the "thou shall not smoke" card if a parent has smoked. If either of you have, what are the limits you put on yourself? Did you have certain places around the house that were off limits to smoking? Did you have a "schedule" of smoking? (some people smoke all day long, others at certain times). Did you only smoke when stressed or visiting with others who did? These are things you can share with Kt to plant the seeds that there are reasons behind smoking - some are habits that people want to break but can not, and some are more controlled such as only with other smokers. So, I guess I vote "Yes, provide them" but add TRY to set some limits on them. It will be healthier for her and you will feel better about not giving her total freedom in this area. I also like others agree with whatever your decision is. You have always known what to look for in your kids and how to help them through things. You are well aware of the two ways a decision can go (the right way or the wrong way - where will this decision lead in the long run?). That is why some decisions like this is difficult - you KNOW how Kt can use it against you but you need to balance her well being into the picture. [/QUOTE]
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