Whats difference between purposely acting up and real issues? Tantrum now - Damages:(

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Confused, Aug 30, 2013.

  1. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Here I am again, yes **** I yelled this morning! He has been falling asleep at 9pm (or 10 minutes before )since school started- huge improvement from before but that is not his bedtime!!! I start slowing him down at 6:30pm with attempting a bath, reading with him, light stretches, tucking him into bed and suppose to be asleep by 7:30pm. ( was 8pm) but it takes him 2-3 hours I kids you not ( rarely he gets ready within 30 minutes -1hr). I try to have him the 10-11 hours

    Anyway.. we started tickling, talking nice etc at 5am. Finally at 6:30 am he gets outa bed and refuses shower ( refused last night too) so I said ok get dressed. Well, he all sudden started from no where again after I touched his clothes" ewwwwwwww its dirty u touched ur hands r dirty" I tried to show him my clean hands and he freaked saying" eww you touched me" I didnt touch him I was a few inches from him! Hes obssed with the" plate smells, the plate is cracked, the plate is dirty, a fly landed on it." Once in a blue moon their might be a stain or a piece of something dried on but thats like extremely rare here- very rare. We are clean people, but normal wise not Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) clean but not dirty. Make sense? I bought him paper plates yesterday and he still had a lil issue.. today he will cuz the palastic was opened yesterday :(. So anyway he threw his tantrum slam kick doors, and now he is home..AGAIN!!! Tardy two times and absent now 2 times and school just started on the 12th!!!!

    Last night he flooded the bathroom ruines 6 1/2 rolls of toilet paper ( two he stacked behind the toilet) even got got/put water on the shelves where the other rolls of T.P were plus my hairdryers!!! That was because he asked about the Cub Scouts but I told him he has to show he can do his class and homework first.

    Now hes still screaming bloody murder and wants to go to school. Do I allow him late today? It will be a couple hours till hes actually ready.. That will equal 3 tardies and two absent because 3 tardies = an absence :(

    I cant have liquid soap because he uses sooooo much and when mad pours everything out all over, hes peeling off the wood from the bathroom door. We parised him how good he was the night before last :( b4 tantrum) on doing his h.w even tho took hours, he got up, and tantrum getting ready but we got there in time. I am trying to praise even more than usual and hardly mention the the bad as suggested. I know it takes time Im just venting.

    He never had these "germ and fly " issues like this. O hes ask if we washed our hands in return while us asking him preparing for a meal or something. But not like this!!! Im calling his Dr again today and telling them we are not waiting for the flu shot, we need an appointment NOW!!!!

    He claims he knows what mad, emotions etc are, and ALL of sudden these new issues.. wouldnt he of always been this way? Always tantrums... why now the dirty abd bug issue? The people out his window? Is this normal for his age? Whats normal for his age? My daughter wasnt/ isnt like this. Even my cousin was out control when my sons age still no germ orp eople issue, heck really no tantrums just lied all times and stole ( still bad ).

    Sorry... so long as usual :groan::mornincoffee::sigh:
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    School just started. If he is like many difficult child kids... he's majorly stressed out, and trying to force some degree of control on his environment.

    He may know the theoretical meaning of emotional words, without really connecting them to the "feeling" - not an uncommon problem.
  3. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Thank u for responding so quick! I see what your saying and sadly I guess I will have to accept the fact he cant connect to the feeling :( Still deep down I pray he can one day he'd actually be able connect them.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Have you managed to get even an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation yet? for sensory and motor skills? Because... those alone are huge issues. Might be part of a bigger diagnosis, or not, but the Occupational Therapist (OT) interventions, accommodations and therapy definitely help, and are the same no matter what other dxes come into the picture.

    If he is anything toward the autism spectrum at all... his acting out is not done to get you mad. It's an attempt to control his world, somehow. It's a sign of major stress, and school is usually a major cause of that - even IF things appear to be going well at school.

    But you need a comprehensive evaluation to even go there.

    Done much research into Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)/Aspie?
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    This little guy sounds as if he has issues that he can not control. All you can do to check "normal" is to ask yourself if 99% of t he other kids his age are acting that way and I know the answer is they aren't. Even if they don't like school. I'm with IC on getting him evaluated, although I'd do the neuropsychologist first. He needs an IEP to make his life AND YOURS easier. I know that in many IEPs kids are allowed to come in late without consequences if there is a problem in the morning. This little man desperately needs a thorough and accurate evaluation so that he can get the correct help. It is possible that homework, school, sleeping, getting up etc. is actually too much for him to do well all at one time. He may need an easier school day with interventions. Most kids at his age do not just refuse homework to be "bad." For some reason it is too hard for them to settle down or they are overwhelmed.

    Have to considered Aspergers? ADHD doesn't sound right here. It is too extreme. He has behaviors way beyond ADHD.

    Hugs and I hope you can find him a good neuropsychologist.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I'd BOOK the neuropsychologist first... but she can probably get INTO the Occupational Therapist (OT) a whole lot faster.
    Here... waitlist for comp evaluation is 18 months. Waitlist for Occupational Therapist (OT), if you know which one to go to, is 2 months or less.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    IC, oh, right! You can get in faster to an Occupational Therapist (OT).
  8. Confused

    Confused Guest

    InsaneCdn- No evaluation yet but September 11th at 3:10pm is the appointment with the Dr I want at his pediatrician. I will demand a referral for everyone they have or I will not leave! They will have to call the cops and have me arrested before I leave without them this time! I have looked inyo Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)/ Aspie and truthfully I dont think so, but I could be wrong. I am going to put all behavior symptoms ( types) and make a checklist. I did with bipolar, adhd and anxiety. For Sleeping I looked up Sleep disorders and stumped on that too! Your key word "If he is anything toward the autism spectrum at all... his acting out is not done to get you mad. It's an attempt to control his world, somehow. It's a sign of major stress, and school is usually a major cause of that - even IF things appear to be going well at school." Good point!!!!! Ooo and 18 months is a long time to wait!!!!Sorry about that for you all.

    MidwestMom-Your Key word"All you can do to check "normal" is to ask yourself if 99% of t he other kids his age are acting that way and I know the answer is they aren't." I agree but still worry am I over reacking like others said? My Grandpa said somethings wrong at times like the Germ fear which he says NON stop but it too all sudden too much it seems as if he is making it up to get to us! I was telling my grandpa that there is such a thing as Bipolar and AD/HD and anxiety, etc and he says its all made up that the kids just dont want to do things! But he does believe people can have Downs Syndrome and Schizophrenia!

    *** Since my son has been home from going in late today it has been hell. Sorry if I cant say that please edit if u need" For over an hour non stop germ issues, questions is the shorts clean ( I was doing laundry and folded them on the clean table and he said germs flew there" Omg it went on and on-like my posts sooo sorry :(

    Thats when I called the Dr office had the recep listen to him in the background- she heard him but I doubt clear enough to hear word for word. So Sept 11th!!!!!!!! I got on the phone with a male friend when my son calmed down and my son kept coming in going on and on started to ask me about germs and I nicely asked if he can give me a minute to get off the phone. Just got on. He left after a few minutes of continuing and I just broke down and cried on the phone with my friend Ive never done that before w him. My son came back in and asked why my face was red I said "cuz I was crying because ofyou " and he laughed :(

  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Confused... I didn't "get" what the definitions meant from all the checklists out there for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and Asperger's.
    And then... just because I like reading and don't like fiction, I end up with things like biographies, so...

    I read: Look Me In The Eye by John Elder Robinson.

    And... it really put all those checklists into perspective for me.
    Not that any one in my family is like John Elder... but we do relate to how he thinks and why he thinks it.
    You might find it an eye-opener.
  10. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Has a teacher or another kid been talking about germs? Until you can get him to the psychiatrist I'd simplify everything drastically. Have a very set schedule of calming things he does right after school. And talk to the teacher and tell her how upsetting school is for him. Maybe there are things that can be done at school to not stress him so much.