What's going on?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by hoarding urine in indiana, Apr 11, 2011.

  1. My 18 year old step-son moved in with us 6 months ago. He hardly ever leaves his room and plays vidio games all day. When cleaning his room I found dozens of bottles of his urine hidden all over. This can't be right. Anyone have any thoughts?
     
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Good morning - welcome!

    I don't know what's going on. It could be a case of not wanting to get up from the video games to go pee, and not bothering to do anything about the bottles; or it could be something else.

    You said he's 18... Is he in school? Does he have a job? If not... Does he have any diagnosis? And... What does your husband say?

    There will be others along who will have more information than I... I just wanted to say hi and welcome.
     
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Hello and welcome--

    Keeping one's urine could be a sign of many things:

    1) Laziness - easier to "go" in a bottle than get up to use restroom. Easier to set the bottles aside rather than empty or throw out. Clue - The bottles are random and haphazard, no rhyme or reason.

    2) Obsessive-compulsive - feels a need to keep the urine rather than dispose of it. Clue - The bottles are organized, in some special order, perhaps even labelled.

    3) It's Art - he's making a statement or planning an exhibition. Clue - the bottles have price tags, museum labels, or have been postioned for best light / viewing.

    Unless your son has shown signs of eccentric creativity on previous occassions....I'm betting it's reason #1.

    I hope you can get him to clean it up and get it out of your house.
     
  4. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Wierd this was posted - we found a bottle of urine in the kids' bathroom upstairs. I know it was not my son, so I am assuming it was clean pee for difficult child's random drug tests...
     
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Ugh! I guess that's reason #4 - needing "clean" urine to pass random drug screens.
     
  6. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    And I'm sorry if my "reasons" sounded a little flippant...

    My daughter used to save her BMs in little decorative boxes when she was 5, 6, and 7 years old. I never did get a rational explanation for it. Docs thought she probably had some obsessive-compulsive tendencies...

    As far as I know - she is not saving anything like this right now.
     
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    The reasons posted above seem logical, but it would still concern me greatly. There are individuals who are so addicted to video games that they will not get up to use the toilet. Bottles to urinate in would be logical in that situation, and I know that in some cases the addict will wear adult diapers so that they don't have to stop or hold a bottle - leaves both hands free for the controller.

    Is your stepson addicted to videogames? What is your husband's take on all of this? Is he willing to insist that your stepson get a job and clean his room? It is hard, but remember that if you will not or can not enforce a rule then it is MUCH better to simply not make the rule or tell the child to do whatever it is.

    The all day gaming may be a good indicator that stepson is addicted to gaming. Even if your husband won't insist he get help, you would still benefit from alanon or narcanon. WHen they talk about alcohol or the drug of choice you can substitute video games. It truly IS an addiction and addiction is a disease that infects the entire family, not just the addict.
     
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi,
    my son used to do that. We never figured out why. He'd use old soda pop containers or whatever was handy. Thank d*G he has outgrown it now. We had to take away his video games and even take the lightbulbs out of his room so he could not occupy himself with-anything besides sleeping.
    We told him he was not allowed to do that any more and it would affect when and whether he could have the games back again.
    I'll ask him and see if he remembers ...
     
  9. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    There is Japanese phenomenon called hikikomori. It's at least partly cultural, but one feature is the adolescent/young adult, generally male, excludes himself from society and stays in his room. Bottles of pee are part of the strategy, mostly as ways to avoid leaving the bedroom for ANY reason.

    it happens in Japan and actually continues in various cases, because of the stress the kids are under (and their response to that stress when they feel they can't cope) coupled with deep parental shame which lead to enabling.

    Parents don't enable to begin with; that comes later. The secret is to find a way to stop the enabling. If this is a stepson, you are dealing with issues of natural parent vs step-parent responsibilities, and who is actually trying to do something. A step-parent is a lot more powerless in this situation, not really able to enforce anything. This sounds like a case of natural parent afraid to push the issue for fear of once more losing access to the son. But it's not good to allow this to continue. Computer games require electricity, and this can be shut off past certain hours. here need to be ground rules and they need to be enforced. Bottles of pee - if he wants to pee in a bottle, he has to eventually deal with it himself, not expect someone else to, and not expect to keep it.

    Marg
     
  10. Thanks for the response-really helps
     
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    husband made an interesting point re natural consequences. Bottled urine is not good for computer circuitry.

    Marg
     
  12. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    With the video games thing, especially if it's a "real time" game, I'd go with a gaming addiction as the likeliest thing.
     
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