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What's happening to me in detachment...
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 623632" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>And that is <em><strong>it</strong></em>, Cedar. The Big It. The crux of the matter. </p><p></p><p>When we are working hard on our learning, so hard, we can't focus on fixing somebody. </p><p></p><p>I am reading Pema Chodron's Living with Uncertainty. I am skipping all around as the chapters are short. I can see that the book will become a reference for me, like Boundaries and CoDependent No More and many of my Al-Anon books are. </p><p></p><p>It just makes so much sense. </p><p></p><p>Reading and writing and praying and being busy and my once-a-week Sunday morning Al-Anon meeting and weekends with girlfriends and working in the yard and getting rid of 40 items a day in my house....all of these things....are my tools of change.</p><p></p><p>I am so grateful.</p><p></p><p>Last night SO and I took two carloads of house items to my friend's consignment shop here in town. She has the best shop with all kinds of very good home decor things, furniture, etc. I have bought many things over the years from her for my house.</p><p></p><p>We sat and visited with her in the shop for a while. I was taking four very cool chairs back to her shop that I had bought about six years ago, from the same place. A full circle. I love those chairs so much and just kept thinking there would a some place for them but they have been waiting for their place for six years. And there will be more chairs. Later.</p><p></p><p>One of our other friends stopped by (the shop was closed, she opened just to get our stuff) and I was able to tell her about the blog. I knew this other friend would love the idea and she did. She just couldn't get over it and asked me a million questions. SO has been so supportive as I have spent so much time on it and he helps me run all around toting bags and boxes to the car, taking them to different places in town, Salvation Army, a program for women getting out of jail and transitioning back to the world, and to the consignment shop---plus the trusty trash bin! My bin is already full for the week and the trash people don't come until Monday!</p><p></p><p>The getting rid of is turning out to be such a spiritual and transforming practice. It is mystical. </p><p></p><p>Why do these things happen in our lives? How do they come just when we are ready for them? How can we not see them earlier? </p><p></p><p>It is mystical. I feel like such a different person today, even since January, when difficult child took the bus back here and went back to jail. </p><p></p><p>These are Holy Coincidences. This is not happenstance. I feel like God and I are a good team, these days. And I am very grateful for that. </p><p></p><p>Yes, anything can happen and things can turn on a dime. That is why I am keeping myself on the down-low, a bit separate, detached if you will, but wanting to be supportive, loving, encouraging and helpful (to me and to him).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 623632, member: 17542"] And that is [I][B]it[/B][/I], Cedar. The Big It. The crux of the matter. When we are working hard on our learning, so hard, we can't focus on fixing somebody. I am reading Pema Chodron's Living with Uncertainty. I am skipping all around as the chapters are short. I can see that the book will become a reference for me, like Boundaries and CoDependent No More and many of my Al-Anon books are. It just makes so much sense. Reading and writing and praying and being busy and my once-a-week Sunday morning Al-Anon meeting and weekends with girlfriends and working in the yard and getting rid of 40 items a day in my house....all of these things....are my tools of change. I am so grateful. Last night SO and I took two carloads of house items to my friend's consignment shop here in town. She has the best shop with all kinds of very good home decor things, furniture, etc. I have bought many things over the years from her for my house. We sat and visited with her in the shop for a while. I was taking four very cool chairs back to her shop that I had bought about six years ago, from the same place. A full circle. I love those chairs so much and just kept thinking there would a some place for them but they have been waiting for their place for six years. And there will be more chairs. Later. One of our other friends stopped by (the shop was closed, she opened just to get our stuff) and I was able to tell her about the blog. I knew this other friend would love the idea and she did. She just couldn't get over it and asked me a million questions. SO has been so supportive as I have spent so much time on it and he helps me run all around toting bags and boxes to the car, taking them to different places in town, Salvation Army, a program for women getting out of jail and transitioning back to the world, and to the consignment shop---plus the trusty trash bin! My bin is already full for the week and the trash people don't come until Monday! The getting rid of is turning out to be such a spiritual and transforming practice. It is mystical. Why do these things happen in our lives? How do they come just when we are ready for them? How can we not see them earlier? It is mystical. I feel like such a different person today, even since January, when difficult child took the bus back here and went back to jail. These are Holy Coincidences. This is not happenstance. I feel like God and I are a good team, these days. And I am very grateful for that. Yes, anything can happen and things can turn on a dime. That is why I am keeping myself on the down-low, a bit separate, detached if you will, but wanting to be supportive, loving, encouraging and helpful (to me and to him). [/QUOTE]
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