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What's happening to me in detachment...
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<blockquote data-quote="Terryforvols" data-source="post: 623772" data-attributes="member: 2127"><p>COM, So sorry for your pain. My difficult child has been in jail for a month now for problem violation and will stay there until a bed becomes available in the long term state tx facility she was sentenced to. For some reason, it does not make me sad that she is in jail. We have been dealing with this disease for most of the past 14 yrs. There have been total maybe 2-3 yrs of sobriety and peace, but they are not 2-3 consecutively, maybe 1+ here, then 6 mos there, etc. Two years ago I would have been hysterical, but after her spiral downward over the past 2 yrs, including shoplifting and a stint on meth, mting men online for $$, I guess Im grateful she is alive. I guess knowing she is sentenced to tx helps also.</p><p></p><p>Tomorrow we are going to see mother in law/father in law. My mother in law refused to see difficult child when she was with us Dec-Jan. It hurt husband and made me so sad. mother in law is 88 tomorrow and will problem never see difficult child again on this earth. I understand she is angry that difficult child has hurt our entire family deeply but I cant understand not wanting to say I love you one last time. She wld never admit it, but I think a big reason is bc our 17 yo nephew, her youngest grandson, was killed Nov 1 in a car wreck. He was a great kid, never in trouble, etc. difficult child asked me if her grandparents wished she had died instead of him. That broke my heart, but even though I 99.9% dont believe that, I cant convince myself mother in law doesnt. When he died, I broke down and told my brother in law that I always believed we wld bury difficult child, not their child dying. In an odd and heartbreaking way, I felt guilty yet blessed that difficult child had survived choices/consequences she made while nephew had been a great kid who had done nothing. This problem makes no sense to anyone but me...sorry. Also, I believe our parents generation believes addicts can "willpower" their way out of it...they dont understand addiction. My dad is furious with difficult child, but we went to his house at Christmas and difficult child was treated just like easy child. Every other member of extended family on both sides saw difficult child, even brother in law and sister in law, and even though angry/sad/disappointed in difficult child, loved her. I just dont know how I will feel tomorrow--I love them very much but am hurt.</p><p></p><p>Sorry for that vent. Stay strong and true to yourself! Prayers.</p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Terryforvols, post: 623772, member: 2127"] COM, So sorry for your pain. My difficult child has been in jail for a month now for problem violation and will stay there until a bed becomes available in the long term state tx facility she was sentenced to. For some reason, it does not make me sad that she is in jail. We have been dealing with this disease for most of the past 14 yrs. There have been total maybe 2-3 yrs of sobriety and peace, but they are not 2-3 consecutively, maybe 1+ here, then 6 mos there, etc. Two years ago I would have been hysterical, but after her spiral downward over the past 2 yrs, including shoplifting and a stint on meth, mting men online for $$, I guess Im grateful she is alive. I guess knowing she is sentenced to tx helps also. Tomorrow we are going to see mother in law/father in law. My mother in law refused to see difficult child when she was with us Dec-Jan. It hurt husband and made me so sad. mother in law is 88 tomorrow and will problem never see difficult child again on this earth. I understand she is angry that difficult child has hurt our entire family deeply but I cant understand not wanting to say I love you one last time. She wld never admit it, but I think a big reason is bc our 17 yo nephew, her youngest grandson, was killed Nov 1 in a car wreck. He was a great kid, never in trouble, etc. difficult child asked me if her grandparents wished she had died instead of him. That broke my heart, but even though I 99.9% dont believe that, I cant convince myself mother in law doesnt. When he died, I broke down and told my brother in law that I always believed we wld bury difficult child, not their child dying. In an odd and heartbreaking way, I felt guilty yet blessed that difficult child had survived choices/consequences she made while nephew had been a great kid who had done nothing. This problem makes no sense to anyone but me...sorry. Also, I believe our parents generation believes addicts can "willpower" their way out of it...they dont understand addiction. My dad is furious with difficult child, but we went to his house at Christmas and difficult child was treated just like easy child. Every other member of extended family on both sides saw difficult child, even brother in law and sister in law, and even though angry/sad/disappointed in difficult child, loved her. I just dont know how I will feel tomorrow--I love them very much but am hurt. Sorry for that vent. Stay strong and true to yourself! Prayers. Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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