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What's happening to me in detachment...
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 623901" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I love this.</p><p></p><p>Love it, Echo.</p><p></p><p>I cannot think of a better description of the rationale behind detachment, and of the reward, for our children, as it takes hold and they recover their independence ~ or, step into it for the first time.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Ha! I wanted to know whether you jumped. Good for you!</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree with this. Somewhere in their adolescences, when they were supposed to be taking more control and we were supposed to be letting go, something happened to turn that process around. Our difficult child kids do need to know they can do it without us. <u>We</u> need to teach ourselves they will be fine, that they can do it on their own.</p><p></p><p>It is the situation that is difficult. Nothing we do or do not do is going to feel right ~ unless the difficult child child suddenly turns easy child.</p><p></p><p>And that wouldn't have anything to do with us, either.</p><p></p><p>I think I get it now that the very least we can do for our troubled kids is to believe they can handle what they get themselves into. It is really hard to listen without coming up with a thousand solutions. We need to train ourselves just to listen.</p><p></p><p>Just listen.</p><p></p><p>Just be there.</p><p></p><p>I have the worst time in the world trying not to judge. Just lately, I have been concentrating my efforts more on that than on trying to just listen.</p><p></p><p>That reminder to myself seems to be helping me.</p><p></p><p>I don't know whether anyone else remembers that old television program "Dragnet"? Joe Friday or whatever his name was.</p><p></p><p>"Just the facts, Ma'am."</p><p></p><p>That's what I am trying to do.</p><p></p><p>Put a space between myself and the emotion.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Faith in him.</p><p></p><p>Beautiful.</p><p></p><p>Here is a quote about faith, Child:</p><p></p><p>"Faith is not, contrary to the usual ideas, something that turns out right or wrong, like a gambler's bet. It is an act, an intention, a project; something that makes you, in leaping into the future, go so far, far ahead that you shoot clean out of Time and right into Eternity, which is not the end of Time or unending Time, but timelessness, that old Eternal Now."</p><p></p><p>Russ</p><p>On Strike Against God (I think)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 623901, member: 17461"] I love this. Love it, Echo. I cannot think of a better description of the rationale behind detachment, and of the reward, for our children, as it takes hold and they recover their independence ~ or, step into it for the first time. Ha! I wanted to know whether you jumped. Good for you! :O) I agree with this. Somewhere in their adolescences, when they were supposed to be taking more control and we were supposed to be letting go, something happened to turn that process around. Our difficult child kids do need to know they can do it without us. [U]We[/U] need to teach ourselves they will be fine, that they can do it on their own. It is the situation that is difficult. Nothing we do or do not do is going to feel right ~ unless the difficult child child suddenly turns easy child. And that wouldn't have anything to do with us, either. I think I get it now that the very least we can do for our troubled kids is to believe they can handle what they get themselves into. It is really hard to listen without coming up with a thousand solutions. We need to train ourselves just to listen. Just listen. Just be there. I have the worst time in the world trying not to judge. Just lately, I have been concentrating my efforts more on that than on trying to just listen. That reminder to myself seems to be helping me. I don't know whether anyone else remembers that old television program "Dragnet"? Joe Friday or whatever his name was. "Just the facts, Ma'am." That's what I am trying to do. Put a space between myself and the emotion. Faith in him. Beautiful. Here is a quote about faith, Child: "Faith is not, contrary to the usual ideas, something that turns out right or wrong, like a gambler's bet. It is an act, an intention, a project; something that makes you, in leaping into the future, go so far, far ahead that you shoot clean out of Time and right into Eternity, which is not the end of Time or unending Time, but timelessness, that old Eternal Now." Russ On Strike Against God (I think) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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