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<blockquote data-quote="KTMom91" data-source="post: 462417" data-attributes="member: 4040"><p>I learned to be as consistent and scheduled as possible; not an easy thing for me to learn since I personally work better without a strict timetable.</p><p></p><p>I learned to put her things off on her; if she didn't do her homework, I wasn't the one serving detention. I didn't bail her out of trouble; I made her face the music; and I chewed her happy butt out when necessary. I learned to be a bit less confrontational with her. My mother always said I would stand on a chair to get in your face if I needed to, and there were times, with teachers and principals, that I needed to. She always knew I had her back, even if I hollered at her.</p><p></p><p>I tried to teach her what she would need to know when she was on her own, the little things like laundry, cooking, dishes, and budgeting; even though it was painful for all of us and caused many fights.</p><p></p><p>I tried to teach her how to advocate for herself, standing up to bullies (both adult and child); made sure she knew the conventional politenesses, said please and thank you, helped people with things, bathed every day, and put on clean clothes. I decided that I didn't care how silly she looked, it was her hair, her face, and her clothing, and as long as she was appropriately covered and she didn't do anything permanent (tattoos or piercings before 18), whatever, look silly.</p><p></p><p>So far, she is doing very well being 14 hours from home. She is eating much better than she did here...she actually ate spaghetti squash and BROCCOLI the other night! Things seem to be going smoothly with school and roommates, and she has two different job interviews tomorrow! I know my way isn't the only way, but it seems to be working for my kid.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KTMom91, post: 462417, member: 4040"] I learned to be as consistent and scheduled as possible; not an easy thing for me to learn since I personally work better without a strict timetable. I learned to put her things off on her; if she didn't do her homework, I wasn't the one serving detention. I didn't bail her out of trouble; I made her face the music; and I chewed her happy butt out when necessary. I learned to be a bit less confrontational with her. My mother always said I would stand on a chair to get in your face if I needed to, and there were times, with teachers and principals, that I needed to. She always knew I had her back, even if I hollered at her. I tried to teach her what she would need to know when she was on her own, the little things like laundry, cooking, dishes, and budgeting; even though it was painful for all of us and caused many fights. I tried to teach her how to advocate for herself, standing up to bullies (both adult and child); made sure she knew the conventional politenesses, said please and thank you, helped people with things, bathed every day, and put on clean clothes. I decided that I didn't care how silly she looked, it was her hair, her face, and her clothing, and as long as she was appropriately covered and she didn't do anything permanent (tattoos or piercings before 18), whatever, look silly. So far, she is doing very well being 14 hours from home. She is eating much better than she did here...she actually ate spaghetti squash and BROCCOLI the other night! Things seem to be going smoothly with school and roommates, and she has two different job interviews tomorrow! I know my way isn't the only way, but it seems to be working for my kid. [/QUOTE]
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