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What's the word -- confused? Frustrated? Angry?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 113672" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Hon, I am so very sorry you need us. And ALL of you do.</p><p></p><p>first, this is a very very stressful time in a young lady's life. 12 is NEVER fun for the family. Hormones (ick) make things that much more difficult.</p><p></p><p>I know htey don't like docs, but that is what this child NEEDSs. Love alone won't do it, can't do it.</p><p></p><p>Ask YOUR doctor who he would take his child to, for a psychiatrist (with the md), for a few therapists' names, for a neuropsychologist, a neurologist, and a developmental pediatrician.</p><p></p><p>Then make the appts. It won't be easy to just "send her away". It simply isn't. IF he is determined to do this, please search the site for "educational consultant". I understand they are well worth the fees. I know Lon Woodbury is often recommended.</p><p></p><p>One or 2 medication trials is just not enough. It can take a LONG time to get a child stable. And iwth the drinking/drugging you know of, the risk of fetal alcohol is very very real. </p><p></p><p>With the death of her mother, it is also probably she has not dealt with the grief.</p><p></p><p>A child neurologist is imperative to rule out seizures or other brain issues. My own daughter was diagnosed iwth epilepsy at age 10. Never would have been diagnosed, but I wanted a full evaluation before we went on medications for the inattentive ADHD that a teacher and my mother were sure she had. She doesn't. Not at all. She has seizures that are so small they are unnoticeable. Others here have children with varying forms of epilepsy that can cause major major behavioral problems. Sometimes the behavioral problem is the ONLY sign of seizure you have.</p><p></p><p>As for $500, that is nothing. This is expensive. And sending her away to school is even more expensive. MUCH MUCH more.</p><p></p><p>Is it possible for you to live in a separate home, to keep some of your stability? Will that cause your SO to blame difficult child even more?</p><p></p><p>THe killing the hamster is a major big sign. Let the people you call for help KNOW about htis, it may help you get an appointment sooner. Find a Children's Hospital - they are often the best at a full multidisciplinary evaluation. Also, I think a Parent Input report (see Resources box at the right side of the page) will be invaluable. You will need SO to do most of this.</p><p></p><p>I have no experience with stepparenting, from either end, so I will let others advise you.</p><p></p><p>Sending big hugs, so sorry for the big scene. been there done that, not fun.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 113672, member: 1233"] Hon, I am so very sorry you need us. And ALL of you do. first, this is a very very stressful time in a young lady's life. 12 is NEVER fun for the family. Hormones (ick) make things that much more difficult. I know htey don't like docs, but that is what this child NEEDSs. Love alone won't do it, can't do it. Ask YOUR doctor who he would take his child to, for a psychiatrist (with the md), for a few therapists' names, for a neuropsychologist, a neurologist, and a developmental pediatrician. Then make the appts. It won't be easy to just "send her away". It simply isn't. IF he is determined to do this, please search the site for "educational consultant". I understand they are well worth the fees. I know Lon Woodbury is often recommended. One or 2 medication trials is just not enough. It can take a LONG time to get a child stable. And iwth the drinking/drugging you know of, the risk of fetal alcohol is very very real. With the death of her mother, it is also probably she has not dealt with the grief. A child neurologist is imperative to rule out seizures or other brain issues. My own daughter was diagnosed iwth epilepsy at age 10. Never would have been diagnosed, but I wanted a full evaluation before we went on medications for the inattentive ADHD that a teacher and my mother were sure she had. She doesn't. Not at all. She has seizures that are so small they are unnoticeable. Others here have children with varying forms of epilepsy that can cause major major behavioral problems. Sometimes the behavioral problem is the ONLY sign of seizure you have. As for $500, that is nothing. This is expensive. And sending her away to school is even more expensive. MUCH MUCH more. Is it possible for you to live in a separate home, to keep some of your stability? Will that cause your SO to blame difficult child even more? THe killing the hamster is a major big sign. Let the people you call for help KNOW about htis, it may help you get an appointment sooner. Find a Children's Hospital - they are often the best at a full multidisciplinary evaluation. Also, I think a Parent Input report (see Resources box at the right side of the page) will be invaluable. You will need SO to do most of this. I have no experience with stepparenting, from either end, so I will let others advise you. Sending big hugs, so sorry for the big scene. been there done that, not fun. Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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