What's up with text messaging?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by dlgallant, May 22, 2007.

  1. dlgallant

    dlgallant New Member

    After a week of silence I finally received another text message from my AWOL daughter. She says she loves me and wants to work on our relationship???

    First, I'm assuming the text messaging is her way of keeping contact impersonal and to a minimum. But it's starting to get on my nerves. I'm glad to know she's alive, but I'm about to turn off the text messaging.

    Second, why is this all of a sudden a relationship problem with me? I guess I should be happy to hear she wants to work on our relationship, but it concerns me that this is a part of this delusional life she's created for herself. I'd feel a bit better if she were wanting to work on finishing school, not hanging out with drug dealers, not trying to trick the lowest men she can find into getting her pregnant, and in general getting back to her life.

    When her bio dad tried to kill us (the first time) and was forced into counseling. The psychiatrist chastised me for wanting to leave him and not "work things out." He blamed the attempted murder on relationship problems and obviously I had driven him to it. My husband and I tried counseling to deal with step-difficult child's issues which turned into "communication" counseling. Hmmmm, there never seems to be a problem with communication, the problem is husband adores his kids to the point of allowing them to run his and everyone else's life. And husband and his oldest have been in counseling off and on for years trying to "work on their relationship." I'm still waiting for the counselor to explain how working on their relationship will stop husband from giving them everything they want and stop step-difficult child from threatening to bash people's heads in with ball bats.

    I'm all for counseling, but I don't believe just any counselor will do. And I'm not up for another round of relationship counseling. I'm willing to participate, and make whatever changes I need to make to get difficult child back on track, but I'm not willing to waste time, money, and energy blaming these dissociative episodes difficult child has on our relationship. Besides, when difficult child is not in these states, we have a wonderful time together. She asks to do things with me even after we've spent 1/2 the day together in homeschool.

    I wish I could be more encouraged by her latst revelation.
     
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Why not just keep it simple and reply with a short and sweet sentence or two? "I always look forward to our time together.
    Let's hook up and we can talk about anything you wish to discuss"

    Would it work? DDD
     
  3. dlgallant

    dlgallant New Member

    I've tried. But usually she drops these notes every few weeks then disappears again. After fuming for a bit I responded that I loved her and missed seeing her. She said she'd call me later tonight, but she's said that before and only actually followed through once. I'm not getting my hopes up, but if she does call it will be a nice surprise.
     
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    That sounds like a very healthy attitude on your part. Keep your chin up!
     
  5. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I agree with DDD. I would just send one back saying, let me know when you are around and I'll see if I'm free. Keep it simple and don't keep your hopes up.
     
  6. dlgallant

    dlgallant New Member

    Just to let you know, she didn't call. Couldn't even be bothered with another text message. What upsets me more than her behavior is this guy that's enabling her to stay a nomad. This guy has a wife and 2 kids (he's 20) why is he paying for my daughter to have a cell phone? I mean I know he's doing everything possible to keep her dependant on him, but how creepy. He interfered with her coming in to sign her plea deal with the prosecutor, but says he's going to foot the bill for an attorney because HE thinks, he can get her a fine and probation and that will be better for her than counseling. Twit. At least he's finally stopped text messaging me.
     
  7. KFld

    KFld New Member

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