What's with no coats in winter?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Dec 14, 2010.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    difficult child hates to wear coats. He waits for the bus in a tshirt when it's 28 degrees. Somehow, a miracle occurred today and difficult child decided that 20 degrees was sweatshirt weather. No hat, no gloves, but it's a start.
    husband said lots of kids come into his clinic that way. Mostly the boys. It's a kid thing.
    Except I saw a grown man at Target yesterday in the middle of a blizzard wearing a long sleeved tshirt and plaid summer shorts!
    Having grown up in MN and knowing that you can freeze to death just crossing the street, I have huge respect for the elements.
    Do I just wait until difficult child gets permanent frostbite and loses a few fingertips, or gets pneumonia and is stuck in ICU?
    Thanks for letting me vent.
     
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Terry--

    Yesterday, no joke, I saw a grown man arrive at school wearing just a short-sleeve T-shirt and jeans to pick up his child. Temps in the 20s wind chill in the teens.

    ????

    I guess some people NEVER learn.

    And if they don't feel it's cold enough to wear a coat - how in the world can one argue with them?
     
  3. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Terry,

    difficult child 1 NEVER wore a jacket, gloves, etc... when he lived at home. husband and I talked about this and decided that it was just one of the things we would ignore. We decided to let natural consequences take over. Still, no matter how cold difficult child 1 looked, he refused to wear warm clothing.

    I almost fainted on the spot when he came over for dinner one night last winter and was wearing not only a heavy jacket but boots too, lol...!!! I guess natural consequences eventually worked, lol...

    Also, when easy child/difficult child 3 was in the fifth grade this was a fad in our area. She actually wore flip flops to school in the snow!!!:cold::2cold: This year, she is a junior in high school and has been wearing a winter jacket.

    in my humble opinion, I wouldn't make an issue out of this. Hopefully, it'll pass... SFR
     
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Same thing here. difficult child never wore boots or a coat to school. It was half way through winter when the sweatshirts would come out. Then in summer it was half way through before she stopped wearing the sweatshirts.

    Yesterday, difficult child called - she bought herself some boots! And has asked for a coat for Xmas.

    Not worth worrying about, in my humble opinion. In fact, take it as a moment to show that you trust him ;) tell him you believe he will be able to decide when he needs a coat - he knows best since it is his body. (gotta seize these moments!)
     
  5. ML

    ML Guest

    Manster too! The after care people would scold me for *letting* him go out without a coat. Obviously the never read Love and Logic lol.
     
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Several years back I just quit buying coats for Onyxx... She never wore them.

    Suddenly, she's asking for one! Hers is too small...

    Now Jett? Will wear BOXERS when it is snowing (like it has been). Does NOT want to wear his coat. His lips turn blue and he just doesn't NOTICE. Last week when he wore his gym shorts home from school, I told him (after he lied and said he didn't), "You're not in trouble for the shorts. When you get sick, you're paying the doctor bill. However, you ARE grounded for lying to me."

    It's a kid thing. I don't remember getting this cold when I was younger, either...
     
  7. 4 degrees here this a.m. and Moose has no coat. Didn't have one last year either.
    He does wear a hoodie though.


    Jan
     
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Is this REALLY a battle you want to fight? Is the kid smart enough to know he will be cold if he doesn't wear a coat, and to put one on if he is cold? It is a battle I flat out, ten thousand percent refused to even discuss (esp with my parents who did a LOT to give me great grief because Wiz hated coats) because if my kid wasn't smart enough to put a coat on when he got cold then he could freeze. If school wouldn't let him go out to recess if he had no coat, it was NOT MY PROBLEM. I was not cold. As long as difficult child owns a coat I would opt out of this battle.

    There were entire YEARS when Wiz' coats were only worn 3-4 times because he just wasn't cold. I DID, and DO have a very firm policy that if you are cold because you neglected to bring your coat/jacket/gloves/hat/zebra you are NOT allowed to utter any words mentioning this in my presence. Period. Children who DO complain in my presence find that they are missing some very interesting, fun and "essential" things AND I follow them around complaining about everything I can think of (in a whine) for twice the amt of time I had to listen to them.

    It even cured husband of this.

    on the other hand, you can always do what my mom did. She made the thermometer the "bad guy". She used to make us listen to the weather reports, but you can use any thermometer or the weather channel or whatever. We couldn't go swimming or play in the hose in the summer until we had three days in a row that were 72 degrees or higher. We had to wear coats if it was snowing or some other temp outside. I cannot remember the coat rule because as a kid I was always cold, so I usually had a coat with me.

    The rules were carved in stone. Totally out of her hands, or so we were led to believe. It is what it is kind of thing. Saved her eons of arguing because she would tell us to take it up with the weatherman or thermometer and then she would go on about her business. Fussing and whining earned chores that HAD to be done. I would designate ONE temperature source (tv station, indoor/outdoor thermometer, etc...) so that you don't end up with bickering over a couple of degrees because one station recorded the temp at another place than some other station.

    This method will work ONLY as long as you are as close to 100% consistent with it. Write the rules out, post them by the thermometer or coat rack or wherever. If difficult child wants to argue, you walk away asfter telling him something like, "It sure is tough when the rules won't let you do what you want, isn't it?" and when he wants to negotiate let him argue it out - with the weather channel or thermometer. Remove his audience.

    The second method (thermometer as bad guy) has worked really well with many kids I know. The ones who have the most problems are those with lots of sensory problems. For a kid with sensory problems relating to heat nad cold, the rules regarding coats, etc... can be brutal. The older I get the more I think that we need to pay a LOT more attention to sensory problems like this.

    I do keep a bag with gloves, hats, scarfs, etc... in the car AND if we are going more than ten minutes away the kids have to bring their coats. They don't have to wear them, but they must bring them in case we have a breakdown or accident. When they were littler I kept a couple of extra jackets from thrift stores for each of them so that one could live in the car.

    (We were always pretty sure we were on her last nerve when she would ask one of us to take out the trash or something, lol!)
     
  9. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I seen teen guys especially going without coats. However, I will say that yesterday when the weather was about 5 degrees out here and I was wearing a lightweight fleece. I had a coat and gloves in the car but I just wasn't cold.

    I've found my guys are far more apt to wear their North Face Bionic jackets over zipper sweatshirts than regular winter jackets. They're thin so they don't get in their way, not too irritating sensory-wise, plus it's the in thing for teens right now.
     
  10. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    difficult child is the same way! He wears a light jacket, which would be good for mid to late fall weather, but refuses to wear a heavy coat. This is a new thing. He says the heacy coat will not fit into his locker at school, which is why he won't wear it. It's something that I am not going to argue with him about. If he gets cold enough, he knows that he has a perfectly good coat in the closet to wear.

    Pam
     
  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm one of those people who is rarely cold. While I have a cute little fake leopard fur coat, I think I've actually worn it once. Mostly, I use a zippered sweatshirt for school...or no coat at all.

    Miss KT, on the other hand, is always cold. I call her the Frosted Mini-Wheat Girl because she usually wears eight layers.
     
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Jumper and Sonic hold their coats but don't put them on. Forget the boots. Sonic wears a hoodie most days. Jumper usually does, but that's it. I bought her a pair of gloves, but she hasn't worn them once. She makes a good point when she says, "I'm just going out to the car, then back to the car after school. We don't have recess in high school so I'm never outside." None of Jumper's friends who ride with us wear coats either. It's weird.
     
  13. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    I CRINGE EVERYTIME I SEE THE MIDDLE SCHOOL KIDS GET OFF THE BUS WITHOUT COATS ON. THEY HAVE ON SHORT SLEEVE SHIRTS IN THE DEAD OF WINTER. I JUST DON'T GET IT EITHER .... :cold:
     
  14. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    I thought this was a Texas thing. I am amazed that the kids up where it is actually really cold don't wear coats either!

    A doesn't like to wear a coat so I was secretly amused when I was late picking her up at the bus stop (15 min. by car from our house) one day when it was cold. After that, she did take a jacket when I suggested it.
     
  15. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I've seen a lot of people without what I would consider proper winter wear, most of them guys.
    Kiddo fought me *once* on not wearing mittens/gloves and a hat. We sat down and did a google image search of frostbite. She hasn't argued it since, and I'm glad because it wasn't long after that that her then sitter's older sister locked them both out in 10 degree weather (they were outside playing in the snow) and left to go to her boyfriend's mom's house to use her tanning bed, telling them we (me and sitter's mother) would be home soon (we were in another town, we got home about an hour after this happened). I was ready to toss the sister's butt in a snowbank and her mom was ready to let me. Kiddo's poor feet even with all the winter gear she had on took over an hour on the heater to turn a proper color. No actual damage, but there sure could have been, and even though kiddo says she doesn't get cold as easily as I do, when it comes to going outside she'll make sure she has gloves, hat, good socks, snow boots, coat, thermals, etc.
     
  16. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Great idea HaoZi ! I will definetly google frostbite and show easy child and difficult child if they complain about dressing warm.:likeit:
     
  17. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have to chuckle because I was no where near being a difficult child but in jr. high it was all about fashion; we didn't wear boots, we didn't carry umbrellas, etc... We did usually wear jackets but I remember a lot of kids who didn't.
     
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I can see I'm in good company, LOL!
    Susie, I love your mother's idea. Wish I'd started that with-difficult child when he was young enough to believe it. When he was a toddler and preschooler, he refused to wear mittens and couldn't figure out why his fingers turned bright red and stung during snowball fights. He was about 9 when he finally figured it out. Doesn't matter how much I told him. HE had to figure it out.
    And I guess that's what this is all about ...

    by the way, I often got calls and notes from teachers when he was little, chastising me for allowing difficult child to leave with-o a coat. I hated it. There was always a coat in the car for him, and on occasion he'd put it on. Some of the teachers got it, some just thought I was incompetent.
     
  19. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    When you live where it's cold, you also develop a tolerance to the cold. When it's 30 degrees, I rarely put on a coat. I take it with and toss it beside me in the car, but just wear a sweatshirt. If there isn't a foot of snow on the ground, I wear short shoes with booted soles. Has to be foot deep (like now) for me to break out the boots. Hats? I just bought one because I now have a part time bus aide job and have to get off the bus and stand outside a lot, but I really haven't worn it much even at work. So here I am laughing about my kids when I do the same thing :) Hub works outside a lot and he's the only person in the family who really dresses for winter :)
     
  20. Have to add that this morning, after 5" of new snow, I witnessed the aftermath of a minor car accident. On the phone, standing ankle deep in snow, the teen (who was wearing a hoodie with the local H.S. mascot) was dressed in a hoodie, shorts and high tops. The cop next to him had on a huge uniform winter coat, a hat and gloves.

    Just made me roll my eyes....

    Jan
     
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