whats your opinion?

[mog]

difficult child is has been being so angry --every single time that he talks to me he yells at me or makes me cry. He is off all his mood medications and when I mention that it might have something to do with his attitude change and mood lately he gets mad saying that I don't know anything about him. I apparently have never done anything for him-never attended any of HIS school functions or extra curricular activities. I promised that we would go for his birthday and I have never intentionally broken a promise to any of my children (trying to teach them that your word has to count for something). Now he is eligible for overnight and he wants us to pick him up drive 3 hours to see my parents then drive back the 3 hours the following day. Up until recently we have not even had one little argument but now that he is all upset I am kinda concerned being in the car with him for 6 hours and overnight. I am hurt. Not so sure that I want to run up there to get yelled at but I know that if we don't go he will use it against me saying that NOW I don't even keep my promises to HIM. I don't know what to do.

 

[Andy]

I would think this new change in moods would cut back the eligibility of overnights. He may be mad and use it against you but I would lean toward NOT taking him overnight until he can be respectful again.

It would not be healthy to you or him if there is a problem in the car or at your parents.

Postponing a promise until a safer time is o.k. to do. There are boundaries that he needs to show that he can stay inside before visiting priviledges can be obtained. One boundary is respect toward you - creating a visiting attitude that makes you feel safe and at peace. Fullfilling a promise that will just add to uneased feelings and fears just because it was a promise is not beneficial to anyone.