What's your thought on heroin addicts drinking alochol?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by lovemyson1, Jul 6, 2016.

  1. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    Hey all. My son will graduate this August from one year of sobriety in his men's home. He's very excited and anxious to start living his life. We are so happy for this wonderful transformation. He will continue to live in the home and begin working 3 days a week as a transition and then eventually go to a sober living home and be independent there. He will not be moving back in with us and I'm so relieved that I don't have that responsibility. I love the program he's in and how they transition him. However, I've been thinking and I don't know yet what his thoughts are on this, but is it possible for addicts to have a beer or two? We have wine or beer sometimes Mango Margarita's etc.. when the family is over. Will this be a bad thing to do in front of him? Will I need to not drink at all in front of him? Is drinking a trigger or will he replace alcohol for the high of heroin? This is what's currently worrying me. Also, hubby is taking him on a special Honolulu trip to celebrate and we were thinking maybe hubby shouldn't drink in front of him. Just not quite sure. Has anyone had experience with this? Thanks loves!
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Not from experience, just from logic... so I won't speak to the longer term question.
    But to me, it would make sense for hubby to NOT consume alcohol, when he's with son on a "special Honolulu trip to celebrate" his year of sobriety.
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    I have to agree on this one.

    My son's drug of choice was not alcohol but I know he did tell me at one time that it was hard for him when we drank in front of him.

    I just don't think it's worth it.

    It's hard I know. My husband and I like to drink socially also. I would not feel comfortable drinking in front of him now.

    When my husband took our son to rehab in Florida in March, they went to dinner and then he got son set up in the hotel room they were staying in and then he went and had a few beers by himself. He had driven 20 hours and wanted a beer. I didn't even like that he did that but had to let it go.
  4. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    Yep that's what I thought! We already talked about it last night and hubby said, I just won't drink. We would do anything for our son's success. And so true what you said InsaneCdn, it doesn't make sense to drink at a celebration of sobriety. I told hubby, he can drink as much as he wants when "we" go on vacay. LOL! But I do wonder, what my son's plan is, whether he will choose to drink eventually. I hope not. The last time he came home and had been sober for 4 months, he had a beer the first day and ended up relapsing in one frickin week! So, I do hope he chooses complete sobriety.
  5. rebelson

    rebelson Active Member


    Someone on CD posted this: "There is a saying in AA, your drug of choice lays in the bottom of the glass."

    So, yeah, I'd totally refrain. ;)
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  6. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    No, he is too new to recovery. At this point, alcohol will only significantly raise his risk of relapse. It is a super easy trap for us to fall into. Thinking that it is only our drug of choice we must avoid, but it isn't. We are physically dependent to our drug of choice, but we are mentally and emotionally addicted to drugs, period. To an altered state of mind, more specifically.

    I was clean for around 1 year before I had a drink. I never had a problem with alcohol. I partied a lot, but I never drank alone, or during the day, etc. Still, the idea is to get used to sobriety. We need to learn to truly appreciate our sobriety. We cannot do that if we aren't sober. Alcohol will only lower his inhibition, and trigger his control problems. It is a very quick way to fall off a steep cliff. I would urge you to try and get him to see this. BEFORE he even tries it. He isn't ready. He doesn't have the foundation yet to do it responsibly.
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  7. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    I completely agree with this and this gives me anxiety. His father and I will talk to him and see where his head is at on this. I'm hoping he will refrain from alcohol forever. But I don't know..
  8. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    You know what I think too, they are SO young and for them to say "I will never have a beer as long as I live" seems like a hard thing to ask someone that age to say.

    My son is 20 and when he answered honestly in his therapy session they had a fit. I think he was only being honest. But I do agree much much time should pass before they even think about it. Years, years.

    My friend's daughter was dating a man that was a previous heroin addict and he smoked cigarettes which I guess is very frowned upon also? That's what I was told.
  9. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    Smoking is frowned upon in general, as it should be. However, most try to get the addict off the mind altering substances before going after the nictotine products. Opiate withdrawal is hell enough, and trying to handle that AND the constant jonesing for a cigarette is too overwhelming for most people. So, one thing at a time. I was a pack a day smoke since I was 16. When I stopped my Suboxone treatment, I switched to an electronic cigarette, which I am still on now. With no real intention to stop at this point. I should, I know, but the experience of getting off Suboxone still feels so recent. It was a very intense experience, and I still don't feel 100% all of the time.
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  10. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I don't think that you or anyone in your family should drink in front of him. Why take that chance? I would think it would be important to show that you can have fun together without alcohol. If nothing else, it would be singling your son out as having a problem if he couldn't drink while everyone else is drinking. That's just my opinion, though. I know of some alcoholics that have been in recovery for a long time that say it doesn't bother them when others drink. They still don't drink, though.

    As far as his being able to drink, my daughter told me once that "your drug of choice lies in the bottom of your glass." When I asked her what that meant, she said that once you start drinking it is much harder to say no to other drugs. I have never heard of a rehab program that says you can safely start to use any mind altering substances after a given period of time.

    I have heard that there various outlooks when it comes to smoking cigarettes in recovery. Some programs ban it right from the start as it is an addiction. Others allow it as duckwing said. My daughter's rehabs have all allowed smoking and almost all of the addicts in the programs smoke.

  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Kathy, we are thinking alike lately.

    I dont understand why anyone in the family would drink around your son at all. it doesnt make sense. Its unhelpful.

    Since son is sn addict wouldnt he be at greater risk to abuse anything, alcohol too? Not everyone drinks. Why not show that you can get together and have fun without alcohol? I feel thats a good message for him. Addocts of all kinds are just at very high risk for orher addictions. Id not temp him to think he's different if he doesnt drink.
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    Last edited: Jul 6, 2016
  12. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    I love your insight. It's true, drinking in front of him will be wrong. It will take some changes on our part, but I will have a family talk and we all will refrain from drinking in his presence. It's definitely worth it. And it's true, we don't have to drink to have fun. I appreciate all of you so much, you always give me the very best advice!! He doesn't smoke thank God and is trying to get big from lifting weights, lol. Thank you all for always being totally honest with me and never sugar coating the truth. Love it!
  13. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Please don't drink in front of him. It normalizes it. He can't handle this way of thinking yet. I get you, hide.
  14. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    An addict is an addict is an addict. We are wired differently from somebody like most parents on this forum. You all possess the ability to drink in moderation. Most of us do not, especially so early in recovery. As I have said, an addict may not have the drug he likes, but he loves the drugs he has. We are addicted to an altered state of mind. Physically dependent on particular substances, but mental and emotionally addicted, period. We will use whatever we have. We prefer some things over others, but will settle for just about anything.

    Drinking leads to lowered inhibitions, and is a straight shot towards relapse. One needs a solid foundation, and a decent amount of clean time before dicking around with mind altering substances of any kind.

    It would be considerate of you guys to avoid drinking around him. At least for awhile. He will begin to pine for that altered state if he is around those who are enjoying it.
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  15. Sister's Keeper

    Sister's Keeper Active Member


    I am of the opinion that addicts of any kind should steer clear of of mind altering and addictive substances. I think that for most people whose brains are wired for addiction the temptation of being around it is too great early in recovery and the use of it is very likely to trigger use of other substances.

    Whatever is wired differently in addicts brains just cannot handle these substances even in moderation. It helps me to look at it from a medical point of view, rather than a behavioral one, though I really think it is a combination of both.
  16. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    I agree. Drinking does lower inhibition, relaxes boundaries. I would imagine for a person trying to ward off the temptation of using drugs, this would be a bad thing.
    My congratulations to your son and prayers that he continues on this path.
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  17. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    Thank you so much Leafy! And everyone! Excellent wisdom. I'm convinced that it's a bad idea to drink in front of him and I will certainly support his sobriety however I can. This has helped me a lot.
  18. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    My son tried to moderate his drinking a few years ago. Did ok for a couple months, then unbeknownst to us switched to opiates.

    We never drink in front of him. I might drink at a party or a wedding if he's present, , but I won't make it obvious. It is a sacrifice that we have to make if we want to support his recovery.

    I don't see him ever being able to drink socially. Ever.
  19. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I was taught also that it is incredibly rude to drink or even have alcohol around someone who is trying to quit alcohol or other drugs.

    When my mother was getting clean (alcohol), she couldn't be around it. Even the sight of a wineglass was a trigger for her.
  20. Sister's Keeper

    Sister's Keeper Active Member

    I guess think of it like this. If you had a loved one trying to lose weight you probably wouldn't break out the Oreos and cookie dough ice cream in front of them!
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