What's your version...

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
This brings something else to mind about my two. When I met husband, he was living with his Mom and Grandma. The kids had a shared room, but rarely slept there - usually it was in sleeping bags on the floor of husband's room.

Took me a while, but I figured out why - their visits to him were so infrequent and random, they were afraid he'd go poof in the middle of the night.

I had to stop that when husband and I moved in together...
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
In our family there was always a schedule Meals were served within a 30 minute time frame. Within an hour bathes were over and pj's on for the night. Homework, fun workbooks, quiet toys followed before bedtime snack,teeth and saying goodnight. Friday nights were a treat night. After pjs we watched a couple of kid appropriate tv shows or a video and bedtime was 9 instead of 8. GFGmom often couldn't go to sleep (actually she often didn't sleep but 4 out of 24 hours :headache: but she did stay in her room most of the time).

difficult child grandson couldn't stand to be alone and wasn't able to go to sleep due to his anxieties etc. For him, and only for him, I bit the bullet by sitting in his room until he dozed off. That was not fun. He was not, however, allowed to be up watching tv or whatever and eventually got used to the plan after living with GFGmom where he had no bedtime.

Summertime was the worst as the neighbor kids would be outside playing ball, hollering etc. I stuck to my guns
and still think it was the wise choice for all of us. The arrival of cell phones when easy child/difficult child was a teen caught me
off guard :surprise: and I wasn't smart enough to set the rule that the cellphone stayed with me during the night.
That caused lots of issues. Bummer. DDD
 
J

joneshockey

Guest
Toughlovin ~
We did the whole sleeping bag on the floor thing with B1... which lasted about 6 - 9 months before he ended up sleeping in his own bed - B2 is a TOTALLY different ball game. He will not sleep on the floor in our room. We even went to the extent of putting a toddler bed in our room for him to sleep on and THIS didn't even work! Last night we changed the bedtime routine per his therapist - This is how it went: I was to rock him for 10 minutes only, then put him in his own bed to fall asleep... this did NOT go over very well. When I talked to him about it when we were getting him ready for bed he said "no, you will rock me" - When the time cam eto rock him for the 10 minutes he became irrate and began screaming, kicking, and scratching (which actually drew blood) me. I told him if he didnt stop that I would discontinue our rocking even sooner. After 5 minutes of this behavior and took him up to bed... He of course refused to stay in bed... I must've put him back about 50 times. When he did finally stya he threw everything off his bed including the sheets and then pitched a fit about wanting the things back. I just ignored him and didnt say anything, but still sat in the room to make sure he didnt harm himself. He then began kicking the wall and side of the bed & began spitting and snotting from his nose, I guess he thought that he would get a reaction out of me, but it did nothing. He probably continued on like this for a good 45 minute to 1 hour. Eventually he realized that if he leaned over his bed he could reach his blanket - this calmed him some, but he continue to sob and ask for other items to be returned. Once he was completely calm I told him he could have his pillow and sheet if he promised to lay down and go to sleep. He agreed and did keep his word. I had told him that I would remain with him for 10 minutes tio give him a chance to go to sleep with me there and if he wasnt alseep then he would have to do it on his own. Wheh the 10 minutes were up I quietly stood and walked out. I didhear him ask where I was going and I told him good night and that I would see him in the morning. He NEVER got up! It was a small victory for me, but he still crawled into bed with us sometime in the night.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
My kids all had fairly firm bedtimes. Wiz had trouble sleeping after he got to be about 6 or 7 but before that he slept fairly well. Until he was 14 he woke up between 5 and 6 every single morning. The later he went to bed the earlier he got up. Every single doctor/psychiatrist/therapist we ever saw said that if we kept him up at night until 10 or 11 he would sleep later. It never worked. When he was about 7 I started ignoring all of the sleep advice from the docs and insisting we try medications to help him sleep. If he was upset over anything he was unable to sleep and then would be up an hour or two earlier the next day and it was ALWAYS an awful day. When he was little he would nap with me but wanted to sleep alone at night. Jess was totally different. She HATED sleeping alone from the start. She was rarely in her bassinet because she could not sleep laying flat. She has a sinus problem where even if she is sick very little runs out of her nose and the drainage all goes down her throat. When she would lay flat her nose would stop up and she couldn't breathe. We had a swing that her carseat sat in and she slept in that until she was almost a year old. She also was a very hungry baby, taking 10 ounces at 8 weeks old. I stopped nursing at 6 weeks because she would get so hungry that she got frustrated and would just yell. The milk was there but it was too slow for her. The hospital had INSISTED that she have a bottle and I could not let her cry and be hungry until she adjusted to nursing. Oddly enough she was FAR healthier than either of the boys as an infant/toddler/little kid. Tyler was all about oral fixations, LOL. He wanted to nurse 24/7. I slept on the couch with him because it was bitter cold when he was born and our bedrooms were on the top floor and it was too cold for him up there. At night he wanted to eat every hour - for at least 20 minutes. We slept together most of the time until he was crawling. Then he wanted his own bed and NO ONE around him. He and Jess would go off on their own to take naps. Jess would fall asleep wherever she was, even in the middle of lunch if it was late. There were many days I pulled a sandwich out of her hand as she sat there sleeping. thank you always toddled or crawled off into somewhere he couldn't see anyone and then fell asleep.

Now thank you is allowed up until 9pm, but he seems to be rested at 6 or 7 when he wakes up. He is usually content to read in his room for a while when he wakes up, which is nice. Because of the pain and shaking Jess is often up all night and asleep in the recliner in the living room all day. It is the ONLY place she can be comfortable, which makes us very sad. NONE of us like having her in the living room 24/7, but she cannot lay flat and the shaking and pain are much worse at night. According to the therapist she would have no symptoms in her sleep if it was anxiety unless she had bad dreams. She has almost never had bad dreams, but does remember most of her dreams. (I can only remember having had 3 dreams in my life and do not get the kind of sleep where you dream, at least not in any of the sleep studies I have had.) So normal for Jess is VERY strange right now, but is the best she can handle. thank you's normal is closer to normal but he still needs to have something in his mouth much of the time, hence all the chewed up shirts. Just this month we have FINALLY had a few shirts that were worn and not chewed!!!

My kids ALL are voracious readers, often sitting in front of a tv show while engrossed in a book. Each of them has foods they refuse to eat. thank you loves nuts and the other two won't touch them, Jess loves seafood, which she just learned. thank you HATES it, also cannot stand strawberries, pineapple, orange, and prefers soy milk over dairy though he LOVES cheddar cheese and it doesn't cause problems. I am thrilled that he dislikes the orange, pineapple, strawberry because he reacts quite severely to them, so it saves a lot of problems.

I won't claim normal for my kids. When I spend time with their classmates the "normal" ones seem rather boring to me. I like my kids quirky and eccentric!
 
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