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When a family cares too much....
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 298270" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>If your family wants to lend a hand, GREAT. But you are not the only member of your family. They can either help with EVERYTHING or back off. You've talked enough about your family that, while they have their faults just like anyone, they do care greatly. But they still need to realize that it's not just you.....you have children and if they buy in, they need to buy the set. I'm sorry but for saying that, your brother needs smacked. Verbally, physically...either one will work but he needs it.</p><p></p><p>I know you and your father are close. Have you talked to him about this yet? Or is he the one leading the charge? Even if they are all fixers and not listeners, they need to be told they crossed a very large line. It may not change their feelings and you may need to repeat it to them often, but they need to know. Call, email, write a letter....whatever. But however you do it, tell them all the same thing. If you call, write it out ahead of time and say to whoever you're talking to that "I have something I need to say. Please don't interrupt, just let me finish. Once I'm done, think on it and call me back. We can talk then." If you email, tell them to think on it and wait a day or two to call and then start screening your calls. </p><p></p><p>Even the most caring and level headed people go off on well intentioned but unnecessary tangents at times. I hope I'm wrong, but I think there will be some hurt feelings all around when you put your foot down, as I'm sure you already know. Just be ready for it and try to put on some extra armor. If you want to vent, rant and rave out loud, call one of us. You can say even the worst of things to us, get it out and not have to worry about hurting any family member's feelings or burning bridges. </p><p></p><p>I also want to say Linda....I know I only see what you put here and was only around you at dinner in Cleveland. But....I have a great amount of respect and admiration for you and coming from me, that's saying something. There really aren't too many people who earn that in my book. I've dealt with too many hypocrites or ignorant people who seem to cut my respect for them in half every time they open their mouth. The way you handle the tweedles, their respective teams, educators, docs...everyone, has me in awe. You have such grace, patience and purpose....I can only hope to be half the person you are. I know you aren't perfect and you have your moments of doubt and confusion as we all do. But you just have a way about you that ....I really don't know how to put it. Just know that as much as you talk of being thankful for this board and the support you get from it, the same can be said of you. I'm sure I speak for many of us when I say that this board, and the world is a much better place with you in it and I for one am a better person for knowing you. </p><p></p><p>You will get through this and we are right here with you. HUGS.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 298270, member: 2459"] If your family wants to lend a hand, GREAT. But you are not the only member of your family. They can either help with EVERYTHING or back off. You've talked enough about your family that, while they have their faults just like anyone, they do care greatly. But they still need to realize that it's not just you.....you have children and if they buy in, they need to buy the set. I'm sorry but for saying that, your brother needs smacked. Verbally, physically...either one will work but he needs it. I know you and your father are close. Have you talked to him about this yet? Or is he the one leading the charge? Even if they are all fixers and not listeners, they need to be told they crossed a very large line. It may not change their feelings and you may need to repeat it to them often, but they need to know. Call, email, write a letter....whatever. But however you do it, tell them all the same thing. If you call, write it out ahead of time and say to whoever you're talking to that "I have something I need to say. Please don't interrupt, just let me finish. Once I'm done, think on it and call me back. We can talk then." If you email, tell them to think on it and wait a day or two to call and then start screening your calls. Even the most caring and level headed people go off on well intentioned but unnecessary tangents at times. I hope I'm wrong, but I think there will be some hurt feelings all around when you put your foot down, as I'm sure you already know. Just be ready for it and try to put on some extra armor. If you want to vent, rant and rave out loud, call one of us. You can say even the worst of things to us, get it out and not have to worry about hurting any family member's feelings or burning bridges. I also want to say Linda....I know I only see what you put here and was only around you at dinner in Cleveland. But....I have a great amount of respect and admiration for you and coming from me, that's saying something. There really aren't too many people who earn that in my book. I've dealt with too many hypocrites or ignorant people who seem to cut my respect for them in half every time they open their mouth. The way you handle the tweedles, their respective teams, educators, docs...everyone, has me in awe. You have such grace, patience and purpose....I can only hope to be half the person you are. I know you aren't perfect and you have your moments of doubt and confusion as we all do. But you just have a way about you that ....I really don't know how to put it. Just know that as much as you talk of being thankful for this board and the support you get from it, the same can be said of you. I'm sure I speak for many of us when I say that this board, and the world is a much better place with you in it and I for one am a better person for knowing you. You will get through this and we are right here with you. HUGS. [/QUOTE]
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