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When a terrific DEX turns into a difficult child x 10 (I'm gobsmacked)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 382288" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>As others have pointed out, he wasn't as phenomenal as you thought, because he was all this time, trying to turn her into something she was not. And Susie, her being able to discard all this now does NOT mean he did little long-term harm. There is no way that did little harm. She has been harmed socially over the years and keeping a secret like that even from her mother, a secret about something so basic as personal identity and personal preferences, is NOT healthy.</p><p></p><p>Pushing someone to wear clothes of the opposite sex is not what causes gender identity confusion or homosexuality, although it can cause other problems. But far more than the gender stuff, is the really bad message it has sent to easy child, about her daddy not loving her for who she is, but for who (or what) he wants her to be. Or wishes she had been born as. Very bad, very unhealthy.</p><p></p><p>Seriously - go for the support, as you probably should have years ago. Go for the level of custody that is ordered, has been ordered in the past. All the nasty stuff you did not know about, is clear justification for finally stepping in and saying, "This is what is ordered. Therefore this is where the borders are."'</p><p></p><p>And on top of it all, dump him right in it on the subject of his long-term coercion of her, to be as masculine as possible. A father who sulks because his daughter chooses to look like - well, a daughter - he has serious problems that a judge needs to know about.</p><p></p><p>The other thing to consider - you know about the tomboy clothes now. But she kept that secret from you. What else has she kept from you? I'm not saying he has done anything illegal, but he sounds like a bully and master manipulator, so it's almost certain that there are other secrets he has made her keep, in terms of his bad behaviour towards her, and his manipulation.</p><p></p><p>Time for it all to come out.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 382288, member: 1991"] As others have pointed out, he wasn't as phenomenal as you thought, because he was all this time, trying to turn her into something she was not. And Susie, her being able to discard all this now does NOT mean he did little long-term harm. There is no way that did little harm. She has been harmed socially over the years and keeping a secret like that even from her mother, a secret about something so basic as personal identity and personal preferences, is NOT healthy. Pushing someone to wear clothes of the opposite sex is not what causes gender identity confusion or homosexuality, although it can cause other problems. But far more than the gender stuff, is the really bad message it has sent to easy child, about her daddy not loving her for who she is, but for who (or what) he wants her to be. Or wishes she had been born as. Very bad, very unhealthy. Seriously - go for the support, as you probably should have years ago. Go for the level of custody that is ordered, has been ordered in the past. All the nasty stuff you did not know about, is clear justification for finally stepping in and saying, "This is what is ordered. Therefore this is where the borders are."' And on top of it all, dump him right in it on the subject of his long-term coercion of her, to be as masculine as possible. A father who sulks because his daughter chooses to look like - well, a daughter - he has serious problems that a judge needs to know about. The other thing to consider - you know about the tomboy clothes now. But she kept that secret from you. What else has she kept from you? I'm not saying he has done anything illegal, but he sounds like a bully and master manipulator, so it's almost certain that there are other secrets he has made her keep, in terms of his bad behaviour towards her, and his manipulation. Time for it all to come out. Marg [/QUOTE]
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When a terrific DEX turns into a difficult child x 10 (I'm gobsmacked)
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