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When are we assuming too much?
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 621598" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi BITS, I agree with you that these are very serious issues that we talk about on this board, and I appreciate your reminder and questions about the thoughtfulness we bring to our responses. </p><p></p><p>It is always good to pause and think about what we are writing and have written before we hit the "Post Reply" button. That is something I will work at remembering more often. </p><p></p><p>One of the things I have learned in recovery is that I do not know what is right for anybody else. I can't know that because I haven't lived their life, walked in their shoes, had the same experiences, or have the same background and values. </p><p></p><p>I can only share what I have learned from my own walk and my own experiences. </p><p></p><p>I do understand that when we are in a crisis and desperately grasping for answers, we may react in the moment and grab onto some else's advice as "our truth." I think that is always a risk on a board like this. I don't think we can fully resolve that risk. </p><p></p><p>I believe that most people I have read here over the past weeks and months are sincere and honest about what they are offering. Sometimes we are very passionate in our beliefs as these are core issues we have struggled with in our own dark night of the soul.</p><p></p><p>As adults, we have to be responsible for what we do with what we read. We have to determine if any action is right for us. </p><p></p><p>I always take suicide threats seriously. My son has threatened suicide several times and I have always taken it seriously even if I doubt he will do it. It would be horrible if I ever ignored a threat and then he actually did it. I cannot imagine the depth of my misery if that were to happen. My ex husband and I recently talked about that very issue on the phone. We agreed that we don't believe he will commit suicide, but we will always take any mention of it seriously. I don't know what else to do other than that.</p><p></p><p>And I have to say that crying wolf about that does wear on one after a while. It is a dangerous thing on both sides. </p><p></p><p>Oh, this is so hard and so very serious as we are talking about the very things that make us human. We are talking about our fundamental humanity and our deep love for our children. We are talking about our own value system and we are trying to do something that does not come naturally to us. </p><p></p><p>It is everybody's choice and right and responsibility to do only what they decide to do, having heard the thoughts and ideas of others. I hope and pray that is always the case, and nobody here ever believes we are anything more than humans doing the very best we can, with no particular expertise in this strange existence we are trying to live in.</p><p></p><p>I know you to be a caring and thoughtful person and again, I appreciate your bringing this up and believe it has been worth thinking about and talking about. I hope any of us can be honest like this about any of our concerns on this board at any time. </p><p></p><p>My best to you, BITS, and to all on this board.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 621598, member: 17542"] Hi BITS, I agree with you that these are very serious issues that we talk about on this board, and I appreciate your reminder and questions about the thoughtfulness we bring to our responses. It is always good to pause and think about what we are writing and have written before we hit the "Post Reply" button. That is something I will work at remembering more often. One of the things I have learned in recovery is that I do not know what is right for anybody else. I can't know that because I haven't lived their life, walked in their shoes, had the same experiences, or have the same background and values. I can only share what I have learned from my own walk and my own experiences. I do understand that when we are in a crisis and desperately grasping for answers, we may react in the moment and grab onto some else's advice as "our truth." I think that is always a risk on a board like this. I don't think we can fully resolve that risk. I believe that most people I have read here over the past weeks and months are sincere and honest about what they are offering. Sometimes we are very passionate in our beliefs as these are core issues we have struggled with in our own dark night of the soul. As adults, we have to be responsible for what we do with what we read. We have to determine if any action is right for us. I always take suicide threats seriously. My son has threatened suicide several times and I have always taken it seriously even if I doubt he will do it. It would be horrible if I ever ignored a threat and then he actually did it. I cannot imagine the depth of my misery if that were to happen. My ex husband and I recently talked about that very issue on the phone. We agreed that we don't believe he will commit suicide, but we will always take any mention of it seriously. I don't know what else to do other than that. And I have to say that crying wolf about that does wear on one after a while. It is a dangerous thing on both sides. Oh, this is so hard and so very serious as we are talking about the very things that make us human. We are talking about our fundamental humanity and our deep love for our children. We are talking about our own value system and we are trying to do something that does not come naturally to us. It is everybody's choice and right and responsibility to do only what they decide to do, having heard the thoughts and ideas of others. I hope and pray that is always the case, and nobody here ever believes we are anything more than humans doing the very best we can, with no particular expertise in this strange existence we are trying to live in. I know you to be a caring and thoughtful person and again, I appreciate your bringing this up and believe it has been worth thinking about and talking about. I hope any of us can be honest like this about any of our concerns on this board at any time. My best to you, BITS, and to all on this board. [/QUOTE]
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