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When are we assuming too much?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 621606" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I understand your points BITS and I appreciate that you had the courage to take the risk and post your feelings. It's opened up a thoughtful discussion too which is an added bonus.</p><p></p><p>The way that I look at is that we're a community of parents sharing our experiences and offering our experiences to others. We are not trained professionals, we are not following the guidelines of a protocol, we are trying to help another who is suffering in a similar way as we have. We all bring our histories, our prejudices, our fears and our beliefs to our posts, we do the best we can in the hopes of helping..............and at times we bring our assumptions as well. The one thing that I believe is true is that our collective intent is to support and to be of comfort to another parent..........and I guess for me, that smooths over a lot. To my knowledge, no one intends harm and at least since I've been here, I have not heard of anyone suffering from bad advice. For me that intention to help carries a lot of weight. </p><p></p><p>The single most valuable component of being here for me, wasn't the advice I got, (although that was monumentally helpful) it was the knowledge that I wasn't alone anymore, that there were others out there who were going through this devastating landscape, that I had actually found a community of parents who knew how this felt.........for me that was nothing short of a miracle. For me that sense of belonging bridges the waters of our human foibles.</p><p></p><p>Even in my most desperate moments I was able to sort through the advice and take what I needed and leave the rest. I believe the posters here can read what others have written and make distinctions between what is best for their kids and what is not........I have always trusted that since we know coming in that this forum is not filled with Doctors and Therapists, but mothers and fathers who are in the same boat as we are, that the advice given is from regular people who bring their own 'stuff' along with them.</p><p></p><p>I take suicide threats very seriously too. My son in law committed suicide and I watched in horror how two families imploded and were never the same again. My family is full of mental illnesses......I've had a front row seat to the horrors of what that does to a family...........and I've read story after story on this site of parents who are as close to the edge as their kids are, begging for help because they just don't know what to do. We respond to that plea with our hearts.............we recall those awful moments when we were there and we reach as far into the page as we can to pull that parent out of that place.............if we say the wrong thing, or we assume we know where they are coming from............it is done with a pure intention of doing whatever needs to be done to get that parent back on safe ground. </p><p></p><p>BITS your points are very thoughtfully expressed and definitely worth our attention so that we can all be more mindful of our assumptions. Thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 621606, member: 13542"] I understand your points BITS and I appreciate that you had the courage to take the risk and post your feelings. It's opened up a thoughtful discussion too which is an added bonus. The way that I look at is that we're a community of parents sharing our experiences and offering our experiences to others. We are not trained professionals, we are not following the guidelines of a protocol, we are trying to help another who is suffering in a similar way as we have. We all bring our histories, our prejudices, our fears and our beliefs to our posts, we do the best we can in the hopes of helping..............and at times we bring our assumptions as well. The one thing that I believe is true is that our collective intent is to support and to be of comfort to another parent..........and I guess for me, that smooths over a lot. To my knowledge, no one intends harm and at least since I've been here, I have not heard of anyone suffering from bad advice. For me that intention to help carries a lot of weight. The single most valuable component of being here for me, wasn't the advice I got, (although that was monumentally helpful) it was the knowledge that I wasn't alone anymore, that there were others out there who were going through this devastating landscape, that I had actually found a community of parents who knew how this felt.........for me that was nothing short of a miracle. For me that sense of belonging bridges the waters of our human foibles. Even in my most desperate moments I was able to sort through the advice and take what I needed and leave the rest. I believe the posters here can read what others have written and make distinctions between what is best for their kids and what is not........I have always trusted that since we know coming in that this forum is not filled with Doctors and Therapists, but mothers and fathers who are in the same boat as we are, that the advice given is from regular people who bring their own 'stuff' along with them. I take suicide threats very seriously too. My son in law committed suicide and I watched in horror how two families imploded and were never the same again. My family is full of mental illnesses......I've had a front row seat to the horrors of what that does to a family...........and I've read story after story on this site of parents who are as close to the edge as their kids are, begging for help because they just don't know what to do. We respond to that plea with our hearts.............we recall those awful moments when we were there and we reach as far into the page as we can to pull that parent out of that place.............if we say the wrong thing, or we assume we know where they are coming from............it is done with a pure intention of doing whatever needs to be done to get that parent back on safe ground. BITS your points are very thoughtfully expressed and definitely worth our attention so that we can all be more mindful of our assumptions. Thank you. [/QUOTE]
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When are we assuming too much?
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