When did the rules change?

Discussion in 'Special Ed 101' started by DS3, Sep 23, 2011.

  1. DS3

    DS3 New Member

    I thought that you were to keep your child out of school if they were sick, or if they had an appointment. Has this changed?

    The reason I ask is because I went to drop difficult child off today and he didn't want to go into school, so I carried him in. I let the teacher know he was tired because he didn't want to go to bed last night and that he may have an 'off day'. Her comment back to me was that if he's having an 'off day' that maybe I should just keep him home. My response was that I could take him home if she needed me to. She then picked up my son and finished carrying him to his classroom. (This happens often when difficult child is having an 'off day').

    Needless to say, I went to the principal already this morning and let her know what had happened. I even let her know that I included a behavior chart for Alex to start tracking his days, as well as a notebook so that me and the teacher could better communicate. She thought I was very pro-active, and that this was a good idea. She also said she would talk with the teacher. Especially since if he figures out that just throwing a fit will keep him home, he'll do it more often. I send him to school tired or not so that he has that natural consequence of being tired throughout the day. I mean I tried everything (taking away toys, tv, et cetera) to get him to go to bed, and he was still up until 11pm.

    I also let the principal know that I'm waiting on the IEP to be done. She recognized the name of my son and after our conversation she let me know that she would see what she could do in order to expedite the process since we are now getting this from his teacher. Granted, the teacher could have just been having an off day as we all tend to do, and I said this. Especially since I thought me and the teacher had a good repour. She's always been nice and let me know how his days have gone when I pick him up.

    So now we shall see what has transpired when I pick him up in about an hour. Wish me luck.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    If he's not sick and it's not in the IEP that he be kept home when he's having an off day, you are obligated to send him and it is their job to deal with it. Many kids go to school tired. That's normal kid stuff from time to time.

  3. DS3

    DS3 New Member

    So I was right. He was having an 'off day' and his teacher told me as much. I'm guessing she hadn't talked with the principal yet since she had no idea about the notebook or chart I had included in his backpack. She told me that it was 'difficult child's responsibility to take the stuff out of the backpack and give it to her.' So I took it out and showed her. Her response was that she already does a behavior tracking in the classroom. Ok, great. I don't know if she has a record of it, and if so, why am I not recieving a copy? Then She commented that she doesn't have the time to fill something like that out daily, or to write notes daily. If the daycare he goes to can, why can't she? Not too mention that this is not for my benefit. This is for difficult child's and I was requested to do this by a couple of his different doctors. Unfortunately, I don't have it in writing, so I will have to obtain that so it can be included in the IEP (once we get to that). So I left my question unanswered before I blew up in her face.

    Funny thing is, I got a copy of the parent's handbook which states that they don't discriminate... my :censored2:. If that were true, she wouldn't be asking me to not bring my child on his 'off days'. Which I did find out that unless it says something in his IEP to not bring him on those days, the only reason a child should be absent is for sickness or appointments. Which means, no matter what kind of day he is having, she's going to have to deal with it.

    Man... I am sooo angry right now! Grr...
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    I'm so sorry. I completely understand how you feel since I had the same EXACT conversation with son's teacher and he HAS an IEP in effect!

    I hope she becomes "easier" once the IEP is in place. Not only is this not for your benefit, but for difficult child's, but it is also for HER benefit. Too many teachers simply do not realize that.
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2011
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Can you get the principal on-side? Sometimes it takes a little administrative arm-twisting, but if the administration backs the process it usually helps. (not always)
  6. DS3

    DS3 New Member

    The principal said she would talk with his teacher to find out what is going on. She also said she would try to get the IEP process expedited. She seemed considerate and generally very interested in what I had to say, so I am hoping that means that she'll be on my side.
  7. seriously

    seriously New Member

    You might want to think of a way to make it a little easier for the teacher while still getting the info you need. Might save some time and frustration for everyone. If she thinks it's easy then she is much more likely to do it.

    My thought was to make up a checklist of some of the things you know are likely to happen with an Other slot at the end for anything you haven't thought of. If what you want to know includes how often it happened or how bad a problem was then you would make your checklist include that info. for example:
    1. Hits teacher # of times: 0__ 1 __ 2 __ 3+ ___
    2. Hits other children # of times: 0 __ 1 __ 2 __ 3+ __
    3. Tantrum # of times: 0 __ 1 __ 2 __
    4. Followed instructions well: Yes __ No __
    5. Overall the day was: Great Good Poor Awful Worst Day Ever
    6. OTHER _______________________________________
    It would be easiest to do it as boxes and she can just go down the list and check either yes/no or the # of times.

    If you want more description of an incident/details then you might ask her to just record details for the worst incident of the day - not each incident.

    You could also just pick 2 or 3 days of the week - Maybe Monday and Friday so you see the bookend days when he's transitioning to school and when he's had the whole week of structure.
  8. DS3

    DS3 New Member

    All she has to do is put a face in a box (smiley, indifferent or sad) which will tell me what his day was like. Then there is room for comments should something 'unusual' show its head. How hard is that? I mean just writing 'talks excessively' in that box is not going to take up much time. Hell, even 'talks excessively during reading workshop' isn't going to take that long. I'm asking for what, 2 min at max? Then there's a notebook where she has the option *not required* to communicate with me about anything she has concerns about, or where I can ask her something should it arise. Basically, I'm trying to get the communication in sinc so that way we can all be on the same page.
  9. seriously

    seriously New Member

    Sounds like you need the principal to back you up with this teacher. Making a face - can't get any easier than that!
  10. DS3

    DS3 New Member

    That's what I'm saying! And just to make sure I'm not crazy with what I am asking, here's the link to the site where I got the chart... http://mrsdowda.web.officelive.com/classroommanagement.aspx

    t's under individual behavior, and it's a free downloadable .pdf file. Am I missing where this is harder then it seems?
  11. keista

    keista New Member

    I couldn't open it, but it sounds exactly like what is in my kids' planners, which are given to every student in the district which every teacher in the district is required to fill out grades k-6. Not asking much at all. And again, she's to STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPID to realize it will help HER as much as him. :sigh:
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Maybe you could go to Big Lots and buy her a huge book of stickers. Really really big! Now arrange with her ahead of time that Mr little wiggly pants gets a Bright Green sticker for a great day, any other color for an ok day but for a really rotten day...it has to be a bright red sticker.

    Now that is what I would do as far as those stickers. but the reason I said to get so many is all the kids are gonna want stickers too when he gets one so she will have to give them out so might as well just get her a ton of them at big lots. They are cheap. Or you could do hand stamps...probably cost you 5 bucks or so for the stamps and 3 inks.

    Now as far the communication thing...no...tell her you will not be dealing with her hot contacting you. You need to go set yourself up with a blog just for his education. Make it private so you have to invite anyone in.
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Or... you could get the "official observation forms" the tdocs like to send to the school as part of the diagnosis process... which are WAY more complicated... and then give her the choice between the two options.
  14. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I have gone everyday and talked to the teacher after school with my 4 or 5 other little kids in the stroller fussing or running around her room. They will communicate with me. Putting it in note or e-mail form is for their convince (and record keeping) I haven't yet had a teacher refuse to do notes. They are just so glad I'm not coming in everyday. Sometimes twice a day; once before school and once after. I am nice about it, but a face on a note takes much less time than a parent conference everyday.
  15. DS3

    DS3 New Member

    Ok, so I dropped difficult child off to school today (no problems) then went to the office to get a copy of the parent handbook. The principal came out and said she had spoken to his teacher and that his teacher said there must have been some sort of mis-communication since she stated that what she meant was if he was tired that I should think about not bringing him (sounds like the same sentence just worded nicer...). I said Ok. Then I proceeded to tell her about the after-school communication and how she didn't have the time to communicate or fill out that brief behavior chart. I did tell the principal that I did include it again today with the question of seeing if she was recording the behavior every day on her own as well as the behavior chart to look over. I explained that it wouldn't take very long each day to fill out and that this is not for my benefit, but for his doctors. The principal said she would again talk to the teacher (again) especially since it is known that we are waiting for our turn for the IEP, and that he has 'issues' and therapies that are being put into place. So we shall see what happens.

    On a plus side, the teacher did take the chart of out his folder and commented to me (and I quote),
    So again, she doesn't have the time... I say its a plus because she actually wrote back. So we shall see what happens tomorrow.
  16. keista

    keista New Member

    Funny how she had the time to write 5 sentences but doesn't have the time to mark a face and make a one or two word behavior comment. UHG! These teachers drive me nuts!
  17. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Wonder how she is going to find the time when its in the IEP and is part of a legally binding document? Behavior plans don't work well just going off of feelings. One big meltdown seems like it lasts forever even if it doesn't and he is great the rest of the day.
  18. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I agree to insist that it end up in the IEP.

    FWIW, we had some major instances with the schools here, and O. I got called in (so did husband) many times - because she "didn't feel good" - and it turned out she didn't want to go to Mr. Yahoo's or Mrs. Bigot's class that day. husband would take her home... I would come in, talk to her, and - wonder of wonders - she suddenly would feel better.

    The difference was... I threatened to bring her to work with me. BORING! After all, I couldn't just take all that time off, and if she was sick someone had to be with her, right? :devil:

    But still - the school would rather send her home than deal with any iffy behavior at all. Mind, O's IEP was a behavioral IEP.

    I brought that up many times, too.

    Good luck with your IEP... PM me which district you're in, I still know a few teachers down there.
  19. DS3

    DS3 New Member

    So I think the principal talked with the teacher, as she had a totally different attitude despite difficult child having an 'off day'. She even filled out the behavior chart for yesterday and today. It's amazing. :)

    Yeah, when I dropped him off, all the teacher asked was if the behavior chart was to help his doctors and therapies. I replied with 'yes'. She said ok, and I got it back filled out. I even used it today (even though we just started) with his therapist. And she found it quite helpful. Mind you, I plan on using it with all of his doctors, and plan to create a 'master file' that shows a month by month progress which I think will be easier to read and follow over a longer period of time. But the week to week works well with the teacher right now. So we shall see how the rest of the week goes. ~crossing fingers~
  20. DS3

    DS3 New Member

    And the miracles keep on happening! The school called today and want me to come in first thing Friday morning to sign the consent for evaluation. Anyone know what I should expect at this little meeting? Anything I should take?