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When did you realize your grown child was different?
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<blockquote data-quote="PennyFromTheBlock" data-source="post: 637966" data-attributes="member: 18271"><p>I knew. He was diagnosed with ADHD in elementary. Trouble trouble trouble. Lie lie lie. All.the.time. You know, I used to think he was my karma for things I had done that were wrong in my life. Having kids single. Not being married. Disappointing my parents. </p><p></p><p>It is a wonder- an absolute wonder- I got that boy out of school. Never saw a day of juvenile. When he went to inpatient treatment for a suicide threat in 10th grade, one of the psychiatrists told me she was SHOCKED he had never been in the juvenile justice system.</p><p></p><p>It was there that they pegged him ODD. </p><p></p><p>He's a master manipulator. A MASTER. If he used all that energy for good, he'd certainly be a force to be reckoned with.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, when it comes to mental health -even just 10-15 years ago- it was me overreacting....he was just a 'growing boy'. He was a 'busy child'. Yes, he was angry- because others would tell him it was because he had no involved dad. Never once did I hear anyone say- boy, you are blessed- you have an involved loving mother! </p><p></p><p>He frustrated me to no end. Made me feel absolutely helpless most of the time. Made me cry more often than not. Frustration. Anger. </p><p></p><p>I often would tell myself that God gave him to ME because anyone else would have literally beat him. </p><p></p><p>I look back at some of those years now and I have no idea how I did that- raised easy child and difficult child alone. I really don't. </p><p></p><p>easy child, God Bless her, is a gem. She was often overlooked about a lot of things because I was so busy/preoccupied/broke behind her brother.</p><p></p><p>She loves him. She does. There were times, as he was 16/17/18 that she would defend him. Say I was too harsh.</p><p></p><p>And there were times I was too harsh- with my words. He has told me that before- and I've apologized, because as much as he doesn't believe it, I really and truly love that boy and did everything I could to help him be NORMAL.</p><p></p><p>If you have an autistic child, or visibly noticeable disabled child- people feel for you. They empathize. But a child like mine? People judge. Think it's me. I, most of the time, don't give much stock to the opinions of those who do not pay my bills. But you know, it's hurtful. It's hard to see a kid get arrested, and on the news, the first thing you hear is "raised by single mother", "absent father", and they list all the awful things. But they never go past that.</p><p></p><p>difficult child has his soft spots. His main issue is the absolute need to fit in. Be accepted. </p><p></p><p>I should have done more. I should have put my foot down more with him and with getting him help. That is my one regret. I did, however, do the best I could with what I had at the time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PennyFromTheBlock, post: 637966, member: 18271"] I knew. He was diagnosed with ADHD in elementary. Trouble trouble trouble. Lie lie lie. All.the.time. You know, I used to think he was my karma for things I had done that were wrong in my life. Having kids single. Not being married. Disappointing my parents. It is a wonder- an absolute wonder- I got that boy out of school. Never saw a day of juvenile. When he went to inpatient treatment for a suicide threat in 10th grade, one of the psychiatrists told me she was SHOCKED he had never been in the juvenile justice system. It was there that they pegged him ODD. He's a master manipulator. A MASTER. If he used all that energy for good, he'd certainly be a force to be reckoned with. Unfortunately, when it comes to mental health -even just 10-15 years ago- it was me overreacting....he was just a 'growing boy'. He was a 'busy child'. Yes, he was angry- because others would tell him it was because he had no involved dad. Never once did I hear anyone say- boy, you are blessed- you have an involved loving mother! He frustrated me to no end. Made me feel absolutely helpless most of the time. Made me cry more often than not. Frustration. Anger. I often would tell myself that God gave him to ME because anyone else would have literally beat him. I look back at some of those years now and I have no idea how I did that- raised easy child and difficult child alone. I really don't. easy child, God Bless her, is a gem. She was often overlooked about a lot of things because I was so busy/preoccupied/broke behind her brother. She loves him. She does. There were times, as he was 16/17/18 that she would defend him. Say I was too harsh. And there were times I was too harsh- with my words. He has told me that before- and I've apologized, because as much as he doesn't believe it, I really and truly love that boy and did everything I could to help him be NORMAL. If you have an autistic child, or visibly noticeable disabled child- people feel for you. They empathize. But a child like mine? People judge. Think it's me. I, most of the time, don't give much stock to the opinions of those who do not pay my bills. But you know, it's hurtful. It's hard to see a kid get arrested, and on the news, the first thing you hear is "raised by single mother", "absent father", and they list all the awful things. But they never go past that. difficult child has his soft spots. His main issue is the absolute need to fit in. Be accepted. I should have done more. I should have put my foot down more with him and with getting him help. That is my one regret. I did, however, do the best I could with what I had at the time. [/QUOTE]
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