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General Parenting
When do you feel a child needs to leave the home? When is enough enough?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 280302" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thanks. We loved him very much though--or who we thought he was. He put on a good act. Of course it's different than a child you raised from birth. The other kids were also adopted, but they came as infants. God only knows what I'd have done if this would have been one of them! I still would have made them leave the house but probably would have continued a relationship. </p><p></p><p>It has nothing to do with biology to me. If my one biological son had done those things, I couldn't have kept him at home either. It's a matter of both safety to the other children and pets AND of appropriate help. in my opinion we can't give the same level of protection and help that a child can get out-of-home. I'm sure the child who left our house got help--I kept in touch with his social worker. However, even with all the help, he was still trying to approach other kids there inappropriately and was sent to a more intensive facility once. I don't think he ever took to us as a family--he had had so many families before us and we were just one of the crowd. He admitted to having perped in every house he'd been in, yet nobody caught it until he came to our house. He has no remorse nor any insight as to why he likes to hurt children and animals. As his social worker said, sadly (because he liked him) "The lights aren't on and nobody's home." He can FAKE remorse and cry on cue and make you feel bad, but, if pressed, he will admit he doesn't have "normal emotions." Scary.</p><p></p><p> Now he has aged out of the system and I'm sure he is either on the streets or in jail. It wouldn't shock me if he murdered somebody and didn't even think twice about it. Killing dogs as a child was not a good sign...he profoundly affected the way I look at children. I once wanted to adopt to help unwanted kids feel loved. I now realize that some kids don't WANT to feel love and can't love back no matter how hard you try. And I won't do it again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 280302, member: 1550"] Thanks. We loved him very much though--or who we thought he was. He put on a good act. Of course it's different than a child you raised from birth. The other kids were also adopted, but they came as infants. God only knows what I'd have done if this would have been one of them! I still would have made them leave the house but probably would have continued a relationship. It has nothing to do with biology to me. If my one biological son had done those things, I couldn't have kept him at home either. It's a matter of both safety to the other children and pets AND of appropriate help. in my opinion we can't give the same level of protection and help that a child can get out-of-home. I'm sure the child who left our house got help--I kept in touch with his social worker. However, even with all the help, he was still trying to approach other kids there inappropriately and was sent to a more intensive facility once. I don't think he ever took to us as a family--he had had so many families before us and we were just one of the crowd. He admitted to having perped in every house he'd been in, yet nobody caught it until he came to our house. He has no remorse nor any insight as to why he likes to hurt children and animals. As his social worker said, sadly (because he liked him) "The lights aren't on and nobody's home." He can FAKE remorse and cry on cue and make you feel bad, but, if pressed, he will admit he doesn't have "normal emotions." Scary. Now he has aged out of the system and I'm sure he is either on the streets or in jail. It wouldn't shock me if he murdered somebody and didn't even think twice about it. Killing dogs as a child was not a good sign...he profoundly affected the way I look at children. I once wanted to adopt to help unwanted kids feel loved. I now realize that some kids don't WANT to feel love and can't love back no matter how hard you try. And I won't do it again. [/QUOTE]
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When do you feel a child needs to leave the home? When is enough enough?
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