When easy child does a difficult child thing....

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Jan 1, 2014.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Hi my SA friends,

    So last night was New Years. I had recently bought a bottle of champagne for last night as we were having a couple over for dinner to celebrate the new year. My easy child daughter is home after her first semester at college. She was meeting her college friends last night and spending the night. I knew they were going to be drinking as overall she is very open with me. Obviously I dont really approve but I am just talking with her about it, making sure she wouldnt drink and drive etc.

    My easy child is a very sensible, good kid who has never caused us any trouble at all. She and I have a great relationship and are very close.

    So last night when I went to the fridge to get the champagne it was gone!!!! My heart sank and I thought Gosh my easy child must have taken it. That made me quite mad partly because it meant we didnt have the champagne for our friends (although none of us are big drinkers so that was not a big deal) and partly just because she did it without asking AND she knows we would not want to provide her and her friends with alcohol!!! It was just so sneaky, out of line and so absolutely unlike her. She had never done anything like this before! Part of me was just shocked that she would do it..... and part of me wondered if I was somehow mistaken because I ddint want to believe she did that.

    So I texted her and asked if she took it. Then I tried calling her.. It was a couple of hours before she responded.

    But this is where she differed from my difficult child. If it had been him, number one he would have lied to me and tried to make me think somehow I was mistaken. At this point I would not have fallen for that but I have fallen for that many times in the past. Instead once my easy child responded she said yes she took it, she felt really bad about it and so didnt drink it. I asked her if she would be bringing it home unopened and she said yes. And she apologized several more times. I think she felt really bad about doing it and I am releived that she has a consience and hopefully she will bring it back unopened when she gets home.

    And a small part of me is glad to know she really is not the perfect child, that she too does things that are typical teenage stuff because honestly I can see that I would have done something similar at her age. Yet I am hugely relieved that she is honest with me and felt bad about it.


    Sent from my iPad using ConductDisorders
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    And there you have the difference between a easy child and a difficult child. Your easy child will learn from this and is unlikely to repeat. difficult child's never admit, never take the blame (unless they can gain something by taking the blame) and never learn, which is the biggest problem of all.

    I'm waiting for Jumper to do a difficult child thing. I mean, she is going to be living in a dorm next year. Granted, it is a monitored dorm and she's ok with that, but she won't be at home under our thumb. Frankly, I don't even want to know the normal college stuff she does.

    Your easy child sounds just fine.
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I smiled when I read this TL. She really is a great kid. So like my easy child to feel so bad about it that she didn't even open it. She will remember this lesson forever.

    Happy New Year!
  4. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    I do think she is fine, and am very glad she told me the truth! Last night she texted me and told me she was going to come home today instead of tomorrow and that she was upset with her firends a bit.... but did not tell me why. I wondered then.

    Well she got home and you guessed it, even though she told her friends not to drink the champagne when she was in the bathroom they opened the bottle!!! She paid me the cost of the bottle with no argument a all.

    I did point out to her that this is the first time she has evern done anything that would make me not trust her! She pointed out that in 18 years hat is a pretty good track record. True.


    Sent from my iPad using ConductDisorders
  5. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I smiled too - but I also know that when easy child does something remotely non easy child - I tend to panic. It gives me that sinking feeling. Probably because we ignored difficult children warning signs as typical teen behavior. I don't know.

    I am glad you communicated well and it all worked out.