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When Grandparents get Angry with difficult child Autism Behaviors
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 368615" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'd like to post in more detail, but I'm actually exhausted right now from a combination of issues very similar to yours!</p><p></p><p>My advice - either bring the kids and your own babysitter, or use a professional service. Don't rely on family, especially family who are not equipped for the job. </p><p></p><p>What really gripes me is when someone says, "Well, that's just the way he is" to excuse an abusive adult family member, when the same statement is never accepted when you ask them to stop that abusive adult from "disciplining" a child with a disability. Frankly, the abusive adult is less the problem, than the enabler. </p><p></p><p>I'll post later when I get my breath back, but let me just say this - right now life is not fun and is too stressful, all because of a combination of my health issues (including recovering from breast cancer treatment, plus my very new eye problems) and family involvement/interference from a number of different directions. mother in law is getting increasingly needy and anxiously dependent, while difficult child 3 is getting aggressive and loud in his objections to being patronised and disciplined by family members who get it wrong. I suddenly have too much on my plate again, and I didn't put it there. </p><p></p><p>But I do know to not add to my troubles by putting in even more random elements such as asking inexperienced and incapable family or friends, to mind a child they don't understand and can't handle. Frankly, it is probably better for that child to be babysat in his own home by a family member of friend ho understands him (or even to be left home alone) than to be put in a different environment with someone untrained and unmotivated to change.</p><p></p><p>Seriously - home alone (familiar turf) is probably preferable and less damaging. And I know that is saying something.</p><p></p><p>OK, gotta get to bed. Sleep...</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 368615, member: 1991"] I'd like to post in more detail, but I'm actually exhausted right now from a combination of issues very similar to yours! My advice - either bring the kids and your own babysitter, or use a professional service. Don't rely on family, especially family who are not equipped for the job. What really gripes me is when someone says, "Well, that's just the way he is" to excuse an abusive adult family member, when the same statement is never accepted when you ask them to stop that abusive adult from "disciplining" a child with a disability. Frankly, the abusive adult is less the problem, than the enabler. I'll post later when I get my breath back, but let me just say this - right now life is not fun and is too stressful, all because of a combination of my health issues (including recovering from breast cancer treatment, plus my very new eye problems) and family involvement/interference from a number of different directions. mother in law is getting increasingly needy and anxiously dependent, while difficult child 3 is getting aggressive and loud in his objections to being patronised and disciplined by family members who get it wrong. I suddenly have too much on my plate again, and I didn't put it there. But I do know to not add to my troubles by putting in even more random elements such as asking inexperienced and incapable family or friends, to mind a child they don't understand and can't handle. Frankly, it is probably better for that child to be babysat in his own home by a family member of friend ho understands him (or even to be left home alone) than to be put in a different environment with someone untrained and unmotivated to change. Seriously - home alone (familiar turf) is probably preferable and less damaging. And I know that is saying something. OK, gotta get to bed. Sleep... Marg [/QUOTE]
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