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When he wants to hug me...
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<blockquote data-quote="Just keep swimming" data-source="post: 41655" data-attributes="member: 211"><p>Allan,</p><p></p><p>I see where you are coming from and it makes great sense...here on this forum. I love reading everything you post, you make me think. But, I have issue with what you post as well.</p><p></p><p>When Aly is at her "finest" and raging all over the place (like yesterday evening, ugh!) and then stops and wants immediate hugs, it is hard. I KNOW I NEED to hug her, help bring her in, bring her close, help HER feel secure. But, and I know I am the parent here, sometimes I am just as scared and/or angry as Aly just was and I can't shift gears quite as quickly.</p><p></p><p>I do pull her close to me on the couch and ask if I can have a minute to regroup. She is now old enough to understand what I am meaning when I say "re-group". I always tell her how much I love her, NO MATTER WHAT! But there are times, she snaps back so fast that I am still reeling in the moment, and my moments take a bit longer than her moments do. </p><p></p><p>My husband would love to read what you are posting here Allan, and not to make this a woman/man mom/dad issue, but maybe that is where there is a difference of opinion. Alot of us mom's take alot more abuse from our difficult children and yes, we can be the more emotional ones in the parenting team, but within that emotion is deep love for our children. NOT saying men don't love their children, I know husband loves his deeply. But I find, in my relationship with husband and kidlets, he has an easier time "snapping back" and offering up the hugs quicker than I. </p><p></p><p>We have all had this same discussion here more than one time before and there is always this similar reaction. </p><p></p><p>Thank you to MWmom for sharing your experience. Wow, brought tears to my eyes!</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Vickie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Just keep swimming, post: 41655, member: 211"] Allan, I see where you are coming from and it makes great sense...here on this forum. I love reading everything you post, you make me think. But, I have issue with what you post as well. When Aly is at her "finest" and raging all over the place (like yesterday evening, ugh!) and then stops and wants immediate hugs, it is hard. I KNOW I NEED to hug her, help bring her in, bring her close, help HER feel secure. But, and I know I am the parent here, sometimes I am just as scared and/or angry as Aly just was and I can't shift gears quite as quickly. I do pull her close to me on the couch and ask if I can have a minute to regroup. She is now old enough to understand what I am meaning when I say "re-group". I always tell her how much I love her, NO MATTER WHAT! But there are times, she snaps back so fast that I am still reeling in the moment, and my moments take a bit longer than her moments do. My husband would love to read what you are posting here Allan, and not to make this a woman/man mom/dad issue, but maybe that is where there is a difference of opinion. Alot of us mom's take alot more abuse from our difficult children and yes, we can be the more emotional ones in the parenting team, but within that emotion is deep love for our children. NOT saying men don't love their children, I know husband loves his deeply. But I find, in my relationship with husband and kidlets, he has an easier time "snapping back" and offering up the hugs quicker than I. We have all had this same discussion here more than one time before and there is always this similar reaction. Thank you to MWmom for sharing your experience. Wow, brought tears to my eyes! Hugs, Vickie [/QUOTE]
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